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When Brady Quinn gets cut traded, everybody's gonna  jump for joy (UPDATED)

When Brady Quinn gets cut traded, everybody's gonna jump for joy (UPDATED)

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 14, 2010

It seems just a matter of time before Brady Quinn is an ex-Brown. If the Browns can't trade him, he will probably will be released. Where the struggling ex-golden boy QB of Notre Dame winds up is any one's guess. Though apparently it won't be the Carolina Panthers. It would seem that while Cleveland welcomed ex-Panther QB Jake Delhomme, Carolina is less than enthused with an equal and opposite attempt to acquire Quinn in some manner.Mike Florio of PFT speculates that Quinn could wind up in Kansas City, playing for his former Irish coach. Though it would probably be backing up current Chiefs' albatross quarterback Matt Cassel. The Cleveland Plain Dealer suggests Seattle, Denver, or Arizona (along with Carolina) would be interested. Though considering the later two teams' record with Quinn's 2006 NFL Draft-mates Jay Cutler and Matt Leinart, they might be a little wary of him.SB Nation's Jon Bois laments that "when Brady Quinn was drafted in 2007, the general consensus was that "Quinn the Eskimo (Mighty Quinn)" by Bob Dylan was a song befitting of the erstwhile quarterback. Nearly three years later, Quinn finds himself miles away from a starting job in the NFL, and without the help of injuries or major off-the-field issues." Perhaps in that sad statement lies Quinn's fate. The Edmonton Eskimos of the CFL might be willing to give him a shot.UPDATE: 5:39 PM: Adam Schefter reports via Twitter that Quinn's been traded to Denver for "FB Peyton Hillis, a 2011 6th-round draft selection and a late-round 2012 pick to Cleveland." I guess Denver wasn't gun-shy to get another QB from the Class of '07 after all.(via SB Nation, PFT, Charlotte Observer, Cleveland Plain Dealer )

In the outfield stands a boxer: Nick Swisher's

In the outfield stands a boxer: Nick Swisher's "boxing regimen"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 13, 2010

What did Nick Swisher in the offseason to prepare himself to defend the Yankees' World Series crown? He got in the ring. Swisher spent the offseason in California training with a "boxing regimen" that left him twelve pounds lighter."It's amazing to see how much boxing translates into a baseball swing, with the movements of your hip and your torso, and the concentration on your core. For me, man, you go a couple of rounds and I never knew three minutes was that long." No word if Swisher plans to enter one of those "celebrity boxing" competitions. Opposing pitchers might want to make a note that Swisher's not the Yankee to throw a bean-ball at.(via MLB.com)

Looking for a new nickname for Gilbert Arenas? Hey! Over here!

Looking for a new nickname for Gilbert Arenas? Hey! Over here!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 12, 2010

Ball Don't Lie is looking for a new nickname for Gilbert Arenas. Apparently nobody told Trey Kirby that SWRT had already re-christened Arenas "Suspect Zero" a couple of months ago.*Sigh* the tribulations of a struggling young blog...(FlashForward, the inspiration for Arenas' new nickname, is back on the air next Thursday, for your information. Check it out.)(via Ball Don't Lie)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: I can't make this stuff up

Shirts Without Random Triangles: I can't make this stuff up

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 11, 2010

The above image is apparently of an actual shirt available for purchase in Nashville, site of this year's SEC basketball tournament. It was spotted at a space rented by Lexington retailer Cat Fan-Attic. It's supposed to be a reference to Wildcats' DeMarcus Cousins. When asked by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution if it referenced anything else, owner Ann Stith responded “What? What do you mean?”(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Dawgageddon: Mark Fox comes down with Roy Williams Syndrome

Dawgageddon: Mark Fox comes down with Roy Williams Syndrome

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 10, 2010

Georgia head basketball coach Mark Fox just got a case of Roy Williams Syndrome. Speaking on Georgia's chances of repeating the Dawgs' 2008 SEC Tournament (when a tornado hit downtown Atlanta) , Fox said “Well, I’m not going to pray for a tornado.”I hope that doesn't happen either. But I do hope Fox gets a clue that after the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, this might not be the best time for humorous disaster comments.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Dump Big Ben and Draft Tebow? Yes, somebody went there.

Dump Big Ben and Draft Tebow? Yes, somebody went there.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 10, 2010

If was just a matter of time before somebody said something pretty stupid involving the Ben Roethlisberger mess. Bleacher Report's Nick Signorelli and The Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy Fowler have both suggested that The Pittsburgh Steelers trade Big Ben for for a first round draft pick, and then draft...wait for it...Tim Tebow.Signorelli's idea is to trade Roethlisberger for "two first round picks and a second round pick" to Seattle or Washington, then use a lot of subterfuge to confuse other teams ahead of them what their draft pick would be, then take Tebow."And make no mistake about it, with Tim Tebow, we will NEVER be hearing of him out drinking and partying, and things along those lines. Tebow is a proud Christian, and has even abstained from sex until this point in his life, because he believes in waiting for his wife. Tebow is the kind of face that the Rooneys have always dreamed of having for their franchise, and, if they play their cards right, they may just end up getting him."Nice plan, too bad he's already let the cat out of the bad in his plan.And leave it to a Florida blogger to show support for this harebrained scheme."For all of Ben Roethlisberger’s on-field success, a second sexual assault allegation in as many years unveils a troubling pattern in Roethlisberger’s life, innocent or not. Guy’s just not being smart about his career and the positions in which he places himself. Why not draft an image-conscious quarterback such as Tim Tebow who, if anything else, could provide guidance to the two-time Super Bowl winner. It also shows the organization has not taken the Roethlisberger’s situation lightly."It's the kind of harebrained logic you would expect from either a sports blogger or someone with a Wonderlic score of 22 (or both). A score of 22, by the way, just happens to be what Tebow happened to get. With a score that low, the Rooneys would have no need to trade Big Ben to draft His Tebowness (if they were inclined to. Don't hold your breath.). Tebow would be there for the taking in the second or third round.Besides, the Rooney's might not be inclined to trade their starting QB who keeps getting involved in sexual assault allegation for a QB who, well...(via Bleacher Report, Orlando Sentinel, TIMTEBLOG)

The Pinstripe Bowl: Worst bowl game name ever?

The Pinstripe Bowl: Worst bowl game name ever?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 9, 2010

They said it couldn't be done, but there may be a stupider bowl game name than the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl. And sadly, it's New York City that gets that is the loser. The bowl game to be played at Yankee Stadium unofficially nicknamed "The Yankee Bowl" now has an official name: The New Era Pinstripe Bowl.Ouch.Why this thing isn't called the Yankee Bowl is beyond all logic. It probably involves lawyers, trademark law, and the general stupidity of Major League Baseball. Not only does that go down as possible the worst name ever for a bowl game, it possibly outmatches the Pork the Other White Meat 400 as the worst named sporting event ever.The game first game is set for December 30, 2010. It will see the sixth place team in the Big 12 against the third place team in the Big East. NYC may most important city in the world (at least to New Yorkers, and it's hard to argue with them), so the most important city gets the leftovers from the Big 12 and Big East. Yeah, that will work. New York and college football deserve better.(via nj.com, SB Nation)

Dawgageddon: Georiga QB fought the law, and the law won

Dawgageddon: Georiga QB fought the law, and the law won

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 8, 2010

You would think Athens would the center of all things troublesome involving bars and underage drinkers outside of the metro Atlanta area. Apparently not. First there's that nasty business in Milledgeville involving Ben Roethlisberger. Now word comes out that Georgia QB Zach Mettenberger (left) got himself in a little trouble with Mr. Po-Po in Remerton, GA. A city just outside of Valdosta.According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "Mettenberger was charged with underage consumption/possession of alcohol, disorderly conduct, obstruction and two counts of having a fake identification." In other words, "the usual" for a Bulldog.If you think Valdosta is just a sleepy little town, think again. Apparently it warranted a visit by the Girls Gone Wild bus while it was making its way to The ATL. It looks like Athens has some competition now. Not that it's making Mark Richt's job keeping his team in line.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Valdosta Daily Times, EDSBS, Deadspin)

The Cure Bowl? Oh My Goth!

The Cure Bowl? Oh My Goth!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 8, 2010

Think there are too many college bowl games already? Tough. There are already plans underway to add more. Dr. Saturday reports on plans to add three more bowl games to the already packed schedule of meaningless bowl games. These are:The Dallas Football Classic (at the Cotton Bowl stadium, replacing the actual Cotton Bowl now played at Jerry Jones' Temple to His Own Avarice Cowboys Stadium).The Yankee Bowl in New York City (three guesses where, and the first two don't count).The Cure Bowl, described as "a benefit for the Susan G. Komen breast-cancer research foundation and the American Cancer Society, is tentatively scheduled for December 18 at Bright House Networks Stadium (home of the UCF Knights) in Orlando."The Cure Bowl sounds like the most interesting of the three. It unwittingly conjures up visions of goth sadness, epitomized by the patron saints of goth sadness, The Cure. Football and Goths, while diametrically opposite to each other, share a lot in common:Fans of both are known to wear bizarre clothing and facial make-up. Many football players already use eye-black. (Insert Tim Tebow joke here)Football players are known to cry. (Ditto)Black is the preferred color of garments for goths, and is popular among football teams in home or alternate uniforms. A loss to a bitter rival can result in a insubordinate level of sadness and grieving. The Cure Bowl seriously needs to be put on the bowl schedule. And if Robert Smith and the boys aren't responsible for the halftime show, than that may be the saddest thing of all.(via Dr. Saturday)

Jon Bois came to bury Freedom Hall, not praise it.

Jon Bois came to bury Freedom Hall, not praise it.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 7, 2010

SB Nation editor Jon Bois' column on the last Louisville Cardinals game played in Freedom Hall hasn't really gone down well with some fans. Maybe that's because it was less of a thoughtful reflection on the passing of an era, and more like Roy Clark's "Thank God and Greyhound."Bois' reflections on the all but former home arena of Louisville (which despite the title of this column isn't really going anywhere) are not too favorable. His complaints about Freedom Hall location range from its "isolated" location from the campus in a "concrete desert' to the Hall's exterior.It's there that Bois drops what may be one of the best put-downs ever."Of all the sports venues in the United States, Freedom Hall is surely the easiest to draw in MS Paint. My God, this building is boring. I do not know who designed it but I will bet you ten dollars that his favorite dish was oatmeal."Needless to say some Cardinals' fans aren't happy with Bois. One of which claimed that Bois "must have been neglected as a child and raised by wolves – GAY ones (no, I am NOT homophobic!)." Which is apparently already starting to become a meme on its own. You can tell internet greatness when it begets more internet greatness. This is it.(via SB Nation)

Cavs fans + Snuggies=FAIL

Cavs fans + Snuggies=FAIL

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 6, 2010

The Cleveland Cavaliers and their fans succeeded last night in setting the world record for "the largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets" Friday night. Translation: a whole lot of people wearing Snuggies.This may be the best argument yet for LeBron James signing with the Knicks next year.(via Ball Don't Lie)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Mr. C

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Mr. C

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 5, 2010

Nothing says that you are a strong, formidable team like an old white-haired guy as a mascot. Vanderbilt University was named after Cornelius Vanderbilt, who donated had donated an endowment of one million dollars to the then-named Central College in Nashville (the school was renamed in his honor after his death). Vanderbilt was nicknamed "The Commodore" due to his interests in shipping and railroads, though he never served in the military.Vanderbilt university adopted the name "Commodores" for it's athletic teams. The mascot designed to look like an 19th century naval commodore. Sadly, it's a pretty old looking commodore with gray hair and Elvis-like sideburns. Yeah, pretty intimidating. Stupid is more like it.The white haired mascot really does nothing to promote the school as an athletic powerhouse. Mind you, Vanderbilt University has a lack of desire to be an athletic powerhouse in the first place. But honestly, The Commodores could do a lot better. How about a makeover where Mr. C looks more like Lionel Richie?At least he'd be more relevant to the modern athlete.If anything, Mr. C's white hair speaks reminds me of Cornelius Vanderbilt's most famous living male descendant, Anderson Cooper.You can come up with your own joke on your own. I ain't touching that one.

Gretzky's son plays football. Take that, Canada!

Gretzky's son plays football. Take that, Canada!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

Here's the news that's going to burst the little bubble of superiority Canada has been feeling since beating the U.S.A. for the gold medal in Olympic hockey. Though it isn't the best kept secret in the world, either. Trevor Gretzky, son of Canada's beloved hockey icon Wayne Gretzky, plays football at a high school in California and not hockey. And that's American football. Not that twelve man sissy CFL stuff.In fact, Trevor Gretzky is a pretty good football player. He will be playing quarterback at Oaks Christian in Westlake Village, CA. This is the same school that produced Jimmy Clausen. It was also the school attended by Joe Montana's son Nick, who's committed to Washington.The younger Gretzky "has already received interest for UCLA, Arizona State and Miami," according to Buster Sports.So enjoy the medal, Canada. Trevor Gretzky's going for the gold in America's sport.(via Buster Sports)

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with "The Star Spangled Banner"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It would seem that some Canadians are getting a little bit cocky since the Canadian Olympic Hockey team beat their American Counterparts in the Olympics last Sunday. Apparently some genius working for the Ottawa Senators decided it would be fun to show clips of Canadian gold medal winners during the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" before Tuesday night's home game against the New York Rangers. This culminated with a clip of Sydney Crosby's game winning goal for the Canadians. There apparently was no similar video presentation during "O Canada."How did the visiting Rangers take it? Well Rangers' right wingman Ryan Callahan says he wasn't even paying attention to it. "I didn't have any idea. I don't look at the scoreboard during the anthem. I look at the flag."The Rangers beat the Senators 4-1, by the way. Put that in your humble pie and chew on it, Ottawa.Look, Canada, just because you beat America in hockey doesn't mean your top dog in the world. And after that atrocious closing ceremony with the inflatable giant, inflatable Mounties giant beavers, and Nickelback, it'll be a dang long while before you get to host an Olympics again.(via Deadspin, New York Post )

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It's been a long time, but notorious Alabama fan J.T. Bowtie is back. If you recall, J.T. is the creation of Alabama student Taylor Fortenberry, who became infamous last fall with his series of videos mocking other SEC schools and their fans. Things got to a point where Fortenberry was getting death threats after ridiculing Ole Miss fans, so he decided to retire the character.Well that retirement was short lived. J.T. Bowtie is back. But now it seems like he making himself the butt of his jokes rather than other schools, as you can see from the following clip.Whether this remains the course has yet to be seen. But the SEC had better watch out.

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