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Dawgageddon: Mark Fox comes down with Roy Williams Syndrome

Dawgageddon: Mark Fox comes down with Roy Williams Syndrome

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 10, 2010

Georgia head basketball coach Mark Fox just got a case of Roy Williams Syndrome. Speaking on Georgia's chances of repeating the Dawgs' 2008 SEC Tournament (when a tornado hit downtown Atlanta) , Fox said “Well, I’m not going to pray for a tornado.”I hope that doesn't happen either. But I do hope Fox gets a clue that after the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, this might not be the best time for humorous disaster comments.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Dump Big Ben and Draft Tebow? Yes, somebody went there.

Dump Big Ben and Draft Tebow? Yes, somebody went there.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 10, 2010

If was just a matter of time before somebody said something pretty stupid involving the Ben Roethlisberger mess. Bleacher Report's Nick Signorelli and The Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy Fowler have both suggested that The Pittsburgh Steelers trade Big Ben for for a first round draft pick, and then draft...wait for it...Tim Tebow.Signorelli's idea is to trade Roethlisberger for "two first round picks and a second round pick" to Seattle or Washington, then use a lot of subterfuge to confuse other teams ahead of them what their draft pick would be, then take Tebow."And make no mistake about it, with Tim Tebow, we will NEVER be hearing of him out drinking and partying, and things along those lines. Tebow is a proud Christian, and has even abstained from sex until this point in his life, because he believes in waiting for his wife. Tebow is the kind of face that the Rooneys have always dreamed of having for their franchise, and, if they play their cards right, they may just end up getting him."Nice plan, too bad he's already let the cat out of the bad in his plan.And leave it to a Florida blogger to show support for this harebrained scheme."For all of Ben Roethlisberger’s on-field success, a second sexual assault allegation in as many years unveils a troubling pattern in Roethlisberger’s life, innocent or not. Guy’s just not being smart about his career and the positions in which he places himself. Why not draft an image-conscious quarterback such as Tim Tebow who, if anything else, could provide guidance to the two-time Super Bowl winner. It also shows the organization has not taken the Roethlisberger’s situation lightly."It's the kind of harebrained logic you would expect from either a sports blogger or someone with a Wonderlic score of 22 (or both). A score of 22, by the way, just happens to be what Tebow happened to get. With a score that low, the Rooneys would have no need to trade Big Ben to draft His Tebowness (if they were inclined to. Don't hold your breath.). Tebow would be there for the taking in the second or third round.Besides, the Rooney's might not be inclined to trade their starting QB who keeps getting involved in sexual assault allegation for a QB who, well...(via Bleacher Report, Orlando Sentinel, TIMTEBLOG)

The Pinstripe Bowl: Worst bowl game name ever?

The Pinstripe Bowl: Worst bowl game name ever?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 9, 2010

They said it couldn't be done, but there may be a stupider bowl game name than the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl. And sadly, it's New York City that gets that is the loser. The bowl game to be played at Yankee Stadium unofficially nicknamed "The Yankee Bowl" now has an official name: The New Era Pinstripe Bowl.Ouch.Why this thing isn't called the Yankee Bowl is beyond all logic. It probably involves lawyers, trademark law, and the general stupidity of Major League Baseball. Not only does that go down as possible the worst name ever for a bowl game, it possibly outmatches the Pork the Other White Meat 400 as the worst named sporting event ever.The game first game is set for December 30, 2010. It will see the sixth place team in the Big 12 against the third place team in the Big East. NYC may most important city in the world (at least to New Yorkers, and it's hard to argue with them), so the most important city gets the leftovers from the Big 12 and Big East. Yeah, that will work. New York and college football deserve better.(via nj.com, SB Nation)

Dawgageddon: Georiga QB fought the law, and the law won

Dawgageddon: Georiga QB fought the law, and the law won

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 8, 2010

You would think Athens would the center of all things troublesome involving bars and underage drinkers outside of the metro Atlanta area. Apparently not. First there's that nasty business in Milledgeville involving Ben Roethlisberger. Now word comes out that Georgia QB Zach Mettenberger (left) got himself in a little trouble with Mr. Po-Po in Remerton, GA. A city just outside of Valdosta.According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "Mettenberger was charged with underage consumption/possession of alcohol, disorderly conduct, obstruction and two counts of having a fake identification." In other words, "the usual" for a Bulldog.If you think Valdosta is just a sleepy little town, think again. Apparently it warranted a visit by the Girls Gone Wild bus while it was making its way to The ATL. It looks like Athens has some competition now. Not that it's making Mark Richt's job keeping his team in line.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Valdosta Daily Times, EDSBS, Deadspin)

The Cure Bowl? Oh My Goth!

The Cure Bowl? Oh My Goth!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 8, 2010

Think there are too many college bowl games already? Tough. There are already plans underway to add more. Dr. Saturday reports on plans to add three more bowl games to the already packed schedule of meaningless bowl games. These are:The Dallas Football Classic (at the Cotton Bowl stadium, replacing the actual Cotton Bowl now played at Jerry Jones' Temple to His Own Avarice Cowboys Stadium).The Yankee Bowl in New York City (three guesses where, and the first two don't count).The Cure Bowl, described as "a benefit for the Susan G. Komen breast-cancer research foundation and the American Cancer Society, is tentatively scheduled for December 18 at Bright House Networks Stadium (home of the UCF Knights) in Orlando."The Cure Bowl sounds like the most interesting of the three. It unwittingly conjures up visions of goth sadness, epitomized by the patron saints of goth sadness, The Cure. Football and Goths, while diametrically opposite to each other, share a lot in common:Fans of both are known to wear bizarre clothing and facial make-up. Many football players already use eye-black. (Insert Tim Tebow joke here)Football players are known to cry. (Ditto)Black is the preferred color of garments for goths, and is popular among football teams in home or alternate uniforms. A loss to a bitter rival can result in a insubordinate level of sadness and grieving. The Cure Bowl seriously needs to be put on the bowl schedule. And if Robert Smith and the boys aren't responsible for the halftime show, than that may be the saddest thing of all.(via Dr. Saturday)

Jon Bois came to bury Freedom Hall, not praise it.

Jon Bois came to bury Freedom Hall, not praise it.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 7, 2010

SB Nation editor Jon Bois' column on the last Louisville Cardinals game played in Freedom Hall hasn't really gone down well with some fans. Maybe that's because it was less of a thoughtful reflection on the passing of an era, and more like Roy Clark's "Thank God and Greyhound."Bois' reflections on the all but former home arena of Louisville (which despite the title of this column isn't really going anywhere) are not too favorable. His complaints about Freedom Hall location range from its "isolated" location from the campus in a "concrete desert' to the Hall's exterior.It's there that Bois drops what may be one of the best put-downs ever."Of all the sports venues in the United States, Freedom Hall is surely the easiest to draw in MS Paint. My God, this building is boring. I do not know who designed it but I will bet you ten dollars that his favorite dish was oatmeal."Needless to say some Cardinals' fans aren't happy with Bois. One of which claimed that Bois "must have been neglected as a child and raised by wolves – GAY ones (no, I am NOT homophobic!)." Which is apparently already starting to become a meme on its own. You can tell internet greatness when it begets more internet greatness. This is it.(via SB Nation)

Cavs fans + Snuggies=FAIL

Cavs fans + Snuggies=FAIL

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 6, 2010

The Cleveland Cavaliers and their fans succeeded last night in setting the world record for "the largest gathering of people wearing fleece blankets" Friday night. Translation: a whole lot of people wearing Snuggies.This may be the best argument yet for LeBron James signing with the Knicks next year.(via Ball Don't Lie)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Mr. C

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Mr. C

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 5, 2010

Nothing says that you are a strong, formidable team like an old white-haired guy as a mascot. Vanderbilt University was named after Cornelius Vanderbilt, who donated had donated an endowment of one million dollars to the then-named Central College in Nashville (the school was renamed in his honor after his death). Vanderbilt was nicknamed "The Commodore" due to his interests in shipping and railroads, though he never served in the military.Vanderbilt university adopted the name "Commodores" for it's athletic teams. The mascot designed to look like an 19th century naval commodore. Sadly, it's a pretty old looking commodore with gray hair and Elvis-like sideburns. Yeah, pretty intimidating. Stupid is more like it.The white haired mascot really does nothing to promote the school as an athletic powerhouse. Mind you, Vanderbilt University has a lack of desire to be an athletic powerhouse in the first place. But honestly, The Commodores could do a lot better. How about a makeover where Mr. C looks more like Lionel Richie?At least he'd be more relevant to the modern athlete.If anything, Mr. C's white hair speaks reminds me of Cornelius Vanderbilt's most famous living male descendant, Anderson Cooper.You can come up with your own joke on your own. I ain't touching that one.

Gretzky's son plays football. Take that, Canada!

Gretzky's son plays football. Take that, Canada!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

Here's the news that's going to burst the little bubble of superiority Canada has been feeling since beating the U.S.A. for the gold medal in Olympic hockey. Though it isn't the best kept secret in the world, either. Trevor Gretzky, son of Canada's beloved hockey icon Wayne Gretzky, plays football at a high school in California and not hockey. And that's American football. Not that twelve man sissy CFL stuff.In fact, Trevor Gretzky is a pretty good football player. He will be playing quarterback at Oaks Christian in Westlake Village, CA. This is the same school that produced Jimmy Clausen. It was also the school attended by Joe Montana's son Nick, who's committed to Washington.The younger Gretzky "has already received interest for UCLA, Arizona State and Miami," according to Buster Sports.So enjoy the medal, Canada. Trevor Gretzky's going for the gold in America's sport.(via Buster Sports)

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with

Watch It, Canada! Ottawa Senators mess with "The Star Spangled Banner"

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It would seem that some Canadians are getting a little bit cocky since the Canadian Olympic Hockey team beat their American Counterparts in the Olympics last Sunday. Apparently some genius working for the Ottawa Senators decided it would be fun to show clips of Canadian gold medal winners during the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" before Tuesday night's home game against the New York Rangers. This culminated with a clip of Sydney Crosby's game winning goal for the Canadians. There apparently was no similar video presentation during "O Canada."How did the visiting Rangers take it? Well Rangers' right wingman Ryan Callahan says he wasn't even paying attention to it. "I didn't have any idea. I don't look at the scoreboard during the anthem. I look at the flag."The Rangers beat the Senators 4-1, by the way. Put that in your humble pie and chew on it, Ottawa.Look, Canada, just because you beat America in hockey doesn't mean your top dog in the world. And after that atrocious closing ceremony with the inflatable giant, inflatable Mounties giant beavers, and Nickelback, it'll be a dang long while before you get to host an Olympics again.(via Deadspin, New York Post )

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

Oh Snap! J.T. Bowtie is back!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 4, 2010

It's been a long time, but notorious Alabama fan J.T. Bowtie is back. If you recall, J.T. is the creation of Alabama student Taylor Fortenberry, who became infamous last fall with his series of videos mocking other SEC schools and their fans. Things got to a point where Fortenberry was getting death threats after ridiculing Ole Miss fans, so he decided to retire the character.Well that retirement was short lived. J.T. Bowtie is back. But now it seems like he making himself the butt of his jokes rather than other schools, as you can see from the following clip.Whether this remains the course has yet to be seen. But the SEC had better watch out.

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A "Lane Kiffin" video too disturbing not to share.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 3, 2010

Here's another disturbing image for your Freudian nightmares: "Lane Kiffin" and his USC coaching staff, aledegly trying to recruit players to USC.There's a Full Monty Kiffin joke around here somewhere, but I'm not going to touch it.The sad thing is that with Land Kiffin and Ed Orgeron there is the very good possibility of this actually happening.

Gilbert Arenas helps PeTA give away fur coats. What the...

Gilbert Arenas helps PeTA give away fur coats. What the...

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 3, 2010

Here's the WTF? Story of the Day:Agent Suspect Zero Gilbert Arenas is keeping busy during his gun-related suspension from the NBA by helping PeTA distribute fur coats to women in need.Yes, you just read that.It does seem odd for the most notorious animal rights group to be giving away fur coats. But these coats were "all donated by people who bought them, then had a change of heart and wanted to discard them for ethical reasons." PeTA turns around and donates them to homeless or people otherwise in need to stay warm in the winter.Arenas' involvement with PeTA began earlier in the current NBA season before the locker room incident involving himself, Wizards teammate Javaris Crittenton, and a couple of firearms.They have continued to support him after the Wizards virtually wiped any trace of his existence from the Verizon Center, and Adidas dropped him as a sponsor."It's just like anything. When something happens, everyone flees away," Arenas said. "So I already knew all that was going to happen. But PETA, they stayed behind me, they stayed with the cause, and that's the reason I came."The best thing that can be said about Arenas' situation is that he's making a good use of it.(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete getting a makeover?

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Purdue Pete getting a makeover?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 2, 2010

One of the scarier college mascots roaming the sidelines is getting a makeover. Purdue is sending Purdue Pete to the plastic surgeon (or is that the fiberglass manufacturer?) for a few cosmetic changes.One of the reasons for the change is obvious. Purdue Pete scares the heck out of little kids."Look, I'm the one who gets the phone calls from parents who say that big face scares their 3-year-old," said Morgan Burke, athletic director."It's been 25 to 30 years since he got a makeover. At some point, the poor old guy has to come into the 21st century."The reaction from some Purdue fans and alumni is also obvious...they don't like it."We don't want him to be too cute and too pretty -- we're trying to convey that we're tough," said Sherman Winski, 61, a Frankfort business owner who saw his first Purdue game at age 7 and now tailgates at home football games in a black and gold ambulance."He's a Boilermaker, after all. And we're not pansies," said Winski.Purdue's recent success on the gridiron says otherwise. How the basketball team will do without Robbie Hummel is in doubt.(via Dr. Saturday, Indy.Star.com)

Russia livid over lackluster Olympics

Russia livid over lackluster Olympics

By Juan Cena in SWRT on March 1, 2010

Russia's success in the 2010 Olympics was fleeting at best. It ran sixth in the medal count, well behind the US, Germany, and Canada. Needless to say the Russian athletic community is taking it on the chin. Russian President Dmitry Medvedev is calling on officials involved with Winter Olympic sports to resign or "we will help them." No word on what Vladimir Putin, the Russian Prime Minister (and the real power in the country) thinks, but it's probably along the same lines.The members of the Russian Olympic Hockey team who play in the NHL are probably lucky they had somewhere else to go besides the Motherland also. Coach Vyacheslav was quoted last week as saying “Let’s put up a bunch of guillotines and gallows. We have 35 people on the hockey team. Let’s go to Red Square and dispatch with them all.”Oh well, I hear Siberia's very beautiful this time of year.(via Yahoo! Sports, New York Times)

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