It's the moment you've been waiting for: The (almost) daily update on how Lane Kiffin's doing in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament. As of 4;40 PM EST, Kiffin still is beating first round opponent Natalie Grubbs by a commanding lead. He leads 58%-42%.It may be a little premature, but to celebrate Kiffin's almost certain victory, I decided it was about time our little Princess Lane needed a name worthy of such a title as "Sexiest Woman Alive." So what better way to find Lane a name than checking out some the internet's inevitable drag queen name generators? Oh, don't act like you're surprised they're out there. Anyhow, here's a sampling of what I came up with:Blogthings.com's Drag Queen Name Generator: Amanda Playwith.Rum & Monkey: Charlamaine Tension Midsumma Drag Name Genarator: Lois Carmen Denominator Of course he could always go with the obvious "Elaine Changer," "Helena Troy," "Lanie Kitten" or "Lanie Backstabber. "
As if things at Oregon weren't bad enough, the school is looking for a new athletic director. Mike Bellotti has left Oregon to become an college football analyst for ESPN. Belotti is not the latest rat to leave the sinking ship known as Oregon, but he's one of the few that haven't been thrown out.This included several members if Oregon's "Insane Clown Posse" football team, and men's basketball coach Ernie Kent, who was fired for poor performance.Where there are deeper reasons behind the resignation are uncertain, but Yahoo! Sports Adrian Wojonarowski tweeted that "Oregon's Mike Bellotti isn't resigning because Nike has World Wide Wes and Lynn Merritt running his basketball search. He wants to do TV." Which implied how much influence the Oregon based company has on the Oregon program.(via The Sporting Blog, Adrian Wojonaroski's Twitter)
What did Ryan Mallett think of LSU Freek's video where music was added to a clip of Mallett making his way on the Arkansas Kansas with his injured foot resting on some sort of four-wheeled something-or-another? You know, this one?Well, when asked he seems amused by it. “You’ve got to take it with a grain of salt...There’s going to be people from other teams putting it on the Internet. A million people have sent it to me in my e-mail. I just laugh every time...It doesn’t get to me or anything.”That's nice, it still won't get Mallett back on the Ryan List, though.As for LSU Freek, he tweeted " First time ever a target of mine has confirmed he saw my potshot... Props to Mallett for having a sense of humor."(via Mr. SEC, Arkansas News, LSU Freek's Twitter)
Don't be alarmed, but Tom Brady still hasn't shown up for the Patriots' voluntary offseason workout program in Foxboro. He's still out in Los Angeles with wife Giselle Bundchen his two sons, and a new dog. Brady claims "that he still does the required training, just not always in Foxboro because his lifestyle has changed with a wife and two children."Like I said probably nothing to worry about, but it makes you wonder if this is how Brett Favre started in his lack of spending his offseason with the team ways.(via National Football Post, Boston Herald)
University of Georgia President EvilMichael Adams was not happy with the untidiness of some Georgia tailgaters in Athens last year. Well, more like a lot of tailgaters. The North Campus was pretty much trashed last year after several home games.Now UGA has come up with some new regulations to prevent future untidiness, along with a lot of fun. Reportedly banned from the North Campus next season are "tents, kegs, generators, televisions, amplified music, grills and cookers, tables longer than 4 feet and household furniture (folding chairs are OK)." Setting up for for tailgating will not be permitted "until four hours before kickoff."In addition "pull-behind items such as trailers and cookers" are banned from the campus entirely, along with "golf carts and ATVs."It could be worse. Dr. Evil Adams said that banning tailgating on the North Campus was brought up. “I think they hit a sensible, happy medium for now.”Happy being matter of perception.Got a problem with this? In that case Spencer Hall has a few words of wisdom:"It would be really, really nice to support someone getting furious about this, but cleaning up after yourself at a tailgate is basic football fan etiquette, and the people who share our fair state fail at doing that even along the roads of the place they consider home. (Their cars, however, are very clean.) It is a violation made worse by the beautiful campus being trashed in the process."Hard to argue with him there, even if he is an unrepentant Gator.(via Athens Banner-Herald, EDSBS)
Someone apparently has had enough of the shenanigans of some players of the Oregon Ducks' football team. A billboard in Eugene, Oregon was painted with images of eight current and former Oregon players who have been involved in incidents ranging from the embarrassing to the criminal. The players were painted with clown makeup on their faces, symbolizing how their actions have made the University of Oregon a look like laughing stock to the nation.The players on the billboard are Jeremiah Masoli (recently pleaded guilty to a second-degree burglary charge. Suspended for 2010 season, ), LaMichael James (pleaded guilty to "a misdemeanor harassment charge stemming from an altercation with his former girlfriend." Suspended for first game of 2010 season), Kiko Alonso (DUII. Suspended for 2010 season), Rob Beard ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of physical harassment." Suspended for 2010 season opener.), Garrett Embry (involved in the burglary with Masoi. No longer on the team.), Jamere Holland (dismissed from team for violating team rules after an incident with his Faebook account), Matt Simms ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of harassment" involving a fight with fellow kicker Mike Bowlin. Dismissed from team), and most notoriously LeGarrette Blount (punched Boise State player Byron Hout live on ESPN. Suspended part of last season.)Not pictured is Oregon coach Chip Kelly, who should probably be shown wearing the sad clown makeup of the late Emmet Kelly. Perfect for the coach of what is slowly becoming the NCAA's version of the Insane Clown Posse.(via Dr. Saturday, ESPN, KMTR.com, KVAL.com, KOINlocal6.com, The Register-Guard, OregonLive.com)
As of the time this is being written (11:58 PM EST) Lane Kiffin is beating Natalie Gulbis in the first round of voting for Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament 58% - 47%. It's beginning to look like Esquire doesn't think the joke's so funny anymore, though. They've replaced the image of Gulbis originally posted (at left) with one that's a little more flattering. Better vote now before the magazine comes to their senses.(via Esquire)
Okay, I'll give you this, for a mascot costume, the Notre Dame Leprechaun looks pretty realistic. Most of the cosplayers on the sidelines who dress up as humans look pretty creepy. Like Purdue Pete, for example. The Leprechaun looks almost human, by comparison. Whoever sculpted that head should be given a medal or something. Most fiberglass mascot heads look huge and goofy, the Leprechaun's head on the other hand...Wait, what's that? That's an actual person in a leprechaun suit? That's not some fiberglass head on that body? How embarrassing! Prancing around in a furry outfit with a giant head is one thing. But roaming around without any sort of mask has to show some total lack of dignity. Or shame. Or Both.Oh well, Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Stay safe.
ESPN's Chris Mortensen via Twitter reports that Tim Tebow has been invited to New York City for the NFL Draft. Which either means a)There are teams actually impressed enough by Tebow to make him a first or second round pick, or b) The NFL has picked him to be this year's Brady Quinn, set up to watch helplessly as other players are drafted ahead of him. Either way, it seems the NFL wants Tebow at the Draft for dramatic effect.(via Chris Mortensen's Twitter)
Have you ever wanted to know what kind of college football coach you would most be like? Have you ever wanted to waste two or three minutes of your life that you'll never get back? The Orlando Sentinel has come up with one of those little quizzes that asks "If you were a college football coach, who would you be? Needless to say, it's one of those little quizzes of the kind that pollutes Facebook with time-wasting "activities" that really tell you nothing about yourself. Take it at your own risk. You'll either end up a workaholic like Urban Meyer, or a clown like Lane Kiffin.(via The Orlando Sentinel)
Do you know what's missing from modern-day UFC cards? Xyience sponsored ring girls, that's what. Sure, Dana White's got an adult beverage company that sponsors the ring girls who cavort between rounds now, but it's not quite the same. I miss getting together with my friends r for the PPV's and Ultimate Fighter finales, look at the ring girls and shout "She blinded me with Xyience!"That said, Xyience in on the list of UPROXX blogger Vince Mancin's "10 UFC Sponsors Who Make Me Embarrassed to Like UFC." This list comprises companies that either sponsor the UFC or their fighters. It includes the aforementioned Xyience, the now banned Nazi-crazy Hoelzer Reich, and the ever present Affliction t-shirts. Spike TV also gets it's share of knocks, too. Primarily due to promos of it's inane non-UFC programming including TNA Wrestling!, Blue Mountain State, and MANswers, the show so stupid no real man would ever watch (or at least admit they did.)In all, this little collection of sponsors shows how closely the UFC and MMA are to their "renegade sport" roots. Despite MMA's inroads into the mainstream in the past decade, it still has some some of the sideshow trappings that some people still hold their noses at, even as they order the PPV's or buy ringside seats for. Shirts with skulls and other psuedo-gothic imagery will probably be around until fighters get bored with it. But the stigma of sponsors like Hoelzer Reich may never go away.(Huge thanks to eltopo over at The Outhouse for pointing this list out.)(via The Outhouse, UPROXX)
There are just some days that were just made for sports bloggers. This is one of them. Esquire has released their field of 64 for readers to vote for their choice for "The Sexiest Woman Alive." And guess who is among the sixteen lovely ladies in the sports bracket? None other than Lane Kiffin.Yes, that's right. Lane Kiffin. Not Layla, Kiffin's quite bodacious wife, but the uh, man himself.Kiffin's up against golfer Natalie Grubbs ("Why couldn't she be the golfer with a sex addiction?" the magazine writes). He's described a being "Such a lovely girl. Sure raises a ruckus."Vote early and vote often folks. This is probably gonna lead to denial of service alerts through Tennessee.(via Dr. Saturday, Esquire)
SWRT would like to thank Sports by Brooks for reminding everybody of this photo taken of Ben Roethlisberger at the 2009 premiere of Watchmen. As you can tell from the poster behind him, Big Ben and Silk Spectre seem to have a lot in common. Okay, Big Ben hasn't been involved with a giant naked blue guy (that I know of), But other than that, they have a lot in common.(via Sports By Brooks)
It seems just a matter of time before Brady Quinn is an ex-Brown. If the Browns can't trade him, he will probably will be released. Where the struggling ex-golden boy QB of Notre Dame winds up is any one's guess. Though apparently it won't be the Carolina Panthers. It would seem that while Cleveland welcomed ex-Panther QB Jake Delhomme, Carolina is less than enthused with an equal and opposite attempt to acquire Quinn in some manner.Mike Florio of PFT speculates that Quinn could wind up in Kansas City, playing for his former Irish coach. Though it would probably be backing up current Chiefs' albatross quarterback Matt Cassel. The Cleveland Plain Dealer suggests Seattle, Denver, or Arizona (along with Carolina) would be interested. Though considering the later two teams' record with Quinn's 2006 NFL Draft-mates Jay Cutler and Matt Leinart, they might be a little wary of him.SB Nation's Jon Bois laments that "when Brady Quinn was drafted in 2007, the general consensus was that "Quinn the Eskimo (Mighty Quinn)" by Bob Dylan was a song befitting of the erstwhile quarterback. Nearly three years later, Quinn finds himself miles away from a starting job in the NFL, and without the help of injuries or major off-the-field issues." Perhaps in that sad statement lies Quinn's fate. The Edmonton Eskimos of the CFL might be willing to give him a shot.UPDATE: 5:39 PM: Adam Schefter reports via Twitter that Quinn's been traded to Denver for "FB Peyton Hillis, a 2011 6th-round draft selection and a late-round 2012 pick to Cleveland." I guess Denver wasn't gun-shy to get another QB from the Class of '07 after all.(via SB Nation, PFT, Charlotte Observer, Cleveland Plain Dealer )
What did Nick Swisher in the offseason to prepare himself to defend the Yankees' World Series crown? He got in the ring. Swisher spent the offseason in California training with a "boxing regimen" that left him twelve pounds lighter."It's amazing to see how much boxing translates into a baseball swing, with the movements of your hip and your torso, and the concentration on your core. For me, man, you go a couple of rounds and I never knew three minutes was that long." No word if Swisher plans to enter one of those "celebrity boxing" competitions. Opposing pitchers might want to make a note that Swisher's not the Yankee to throw a bean-ball at.(via MLB.com)
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