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Chick-fil-A Bowl compared to...obscure Muppet Christmas special?

Chick-fil-A Bowl compared to...obscure Muppet Christmas special?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 8, 2009

Virginia Tech blog Gobbler Country has their look at the Chick-fil-A Bowl matchup between the Hokies and the Tennessee Volunteers. Guess what they're comparing it too: Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas?What the frak? Comparing the Hokies to Emmet Otter and co., and Lane Kiffin and the Vols to the Riverbottom Nightmare Band? Can you get any more obscure than this? No, don't answer that. I really don't want to hear about every lame Christmas special ever made.But while I'm on the subject, can somebody explain to me why the frak I can't find John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together on DVD? Or why it never shows up on TV anymore? It's like one of the top five Christmas specials ever. Disney (or whoever holds the right to it)is missing out on an absolute liscence to print money not putting this one out. Stupid, just stupid.(via Gobbler Country, Muppet Wiki )

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Jaxon de Ville

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Jaxon de Ville

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 8, 2009

Well, here's a first, an NFL mascot. Jaxon de Ville? This is the best you could do, Jacksonville Jaguars? This is beyond lame, its just sad.Jaxon de Ville is a jaguar with teal markings in lieu of the black ones a real jaguar has. So he's already lamer than Chester Cheetah, which may be the lamest advertising character ever created.Everything about Jaxon says "loser." Football jersey over fat belly. Sunglasses that do nothing to hide the lameness factor. And the teal paws on the shorts...ugh! They look too much like he's roaming in public in his boxers. What, they couldn't find a pair of jean shorts that could fit him.?Jaxon De Ville is enough proof that the Jacksonville Jaguars problems go way beyond lack of public support. There seems to be a whole lot of institutional hubris surrounding this team. It's doubtful that even drafting Tim Tebow can solve the Jags' problems.(Apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

The Golddomedammerung: What do Jimmy Clausen and Rats on the Titanic have in common?

The Golddomedammerung: What do Jimmy Clausen and Rats on the Titanic have in common?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 7, 2009

ESPN is reporting that Jimmy Clausen is leaving the sinking ship of of HMS Fighting Irish and forgoing his senior season at Notre Dame . Golden Tate is probably going too. Whether they would have stayed in South Bend if Charlie Weis was still ND coach is neither here nor there. Whatever the truth is the cupboard is going to be pretty bare for the next head coach. It looks more and more like that ND may have lost their only chance to play in a bowl for the next few years by deciding not to play in one this year. That's going to be less appealing for any possible coaching candidate.UPDATE: Joe Schad is tweeting Golden Tate is leaving too.(via ESPN)

What players can expect to get from bowl games in lieu  of money.

What players can expect to get from bowl games in lieu of money.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 7, 2009

Want to know what college players are going to get this year going to bowl games? Sports Business Journal has the scoop the kinds of freebies the various bowl games are handing out this year as opposed to you know, monetary compensation. There are a lot of Oalkey and Ogio products to go around Plus quite a few visits to what is called the "Sony gift suite."Obviously, the better the bowl, the better the goodies handed out. If you're Nevada or SMU and you're going to the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, you're screwed. All you're reported to getting is a "Kahala Aloha shirt." The Emerald Bowl is just as bad. All Boston College and USC players can expect to get is a Fossil watch. Its San Francisco and they don't even get some flowers to put in their hair, dangit! It's a far cry from what USC expects from the Rose Bowl, which is handing "television combos" from Sharp.Honestly, there really isn't a lot to write home about. The guess the recession has probably put a crimp on the swag, as well as the IRS, who started getting anal about these kinda things a few years back when the Oscar goody bags started to get out of hand. And it's still not enough to keep players from jumping to the pros early.(via The Sporting Blog, Sports Business Journal)

TCU and Boise State are both two things..

TCU and Boise State are both two things..

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 6, 2009

TCU and Boise State are two things:1)They're both teams in the BCS this year.and2)They were both screwed by the BCS this year.In typical BCS fashion, the Bowl committees found new ways to screw the non BCS-Conference teams. This time by having them play each other in the Fiesta Bowl. It sucks even worse, because TCU already beat Boise State last year in the Poinsettia Bowl (TCU won 17-16).Meanwhile fans get such great bowl matchups such as Georgia Tech and Iowa in the Rust Orange Bowl, Florida and Cincinnati in the Domers Would Kill Their Firstborn for Either One of Our Head Coaches Sugar Bowl, and Oregon and Ohio State in the Two Bald Men Fighting Over a Comb Rose Bowl Game. At least fans get to see Alabama play Texas for the BCS "Championship," though quite a few people would have preferred to see Florida and Texas face off for the crystal pigskin.Blame all of the on the provincial nature of the BCS bowl committees. They're more concerned about protecting their own turf than they are about making sure the best matchups or making money happen. Blame a slew of underperforming programs from BCS Conferences (and oh yeah, Notre Dame) also.Of course things wouldn't be much better if my personal " first step in fixing the BCS on the way to a playoff " (mandatory #3 vs. #4 every year) took place this year. In that scenario Cincinnati would play TCU. Not really much better this year. That actually makes TCU vs. Boise St. more like a better game the more I think of it. But I would have preferred to see either Boise St. or TCU take on Florida instead of the Bearcats.Putting TCU up against Boise St. seems more like punishing success than rewarding it. Having them face each other in the Fiesta Bowl seems more like a white elephant gift than an actual reward for on-the-field performance. It's games like this that make the BCS look more and more loathsome each day.(via Rivals.com)

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch:Detroit Free Press looks at rules enforcement.

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch:Detroit Free Press looks at rules enforcement.

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 6, 2009

The Detroit Free Press is looking deeper at the "time limits on football training" controversy that has dogged Michigan and head football coach Rich Rodriguez since the season began. The paper found that the monitoring of NCAA rules on the amount of time allowed per week for football-related training is the responsibility of member schools, and not the NCAA itself. It also questions the idea that training violations are rampant. Jo Potuto, former chair of the NCAA infractions committee disputed such claims.“A lot of the folks who are saying that everybody does it have never been on college campuses anywhere,” Potuto said. “I’ve got better experience that tells me otherwise. At a lot of schools the coaches and the compliance people are paying attention to it … because getting caught is not worth it.”The Detroit Free Press asked 35 universities about their monitoring policies. Twenty-four schools responded to the request. Michigan declined, siting the ongoing NCAA investigation.(via Detroit Free Press)

How Hunter Lawrence saved the BCS

How Hunter Lawrence saved the BCS

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 5, 2009

BSC Executive Director Bill Hancock, Ari Fleischer, and FOX Sports had better make sure they send Texas kicker Hunter Lawrence a Christmas card this year (if the NCAA allows such things). Lawrence probably saved their collective rear ends this year.Unless the voters in the Coaches' Poll get extra snarky, Texas will probably play Alabama in the BCS "Championship." The BCS already took a hit with Alabama beating Florida. That denied FOX and the BCS with the ratings gold of Tim Tebow's (now impossible)"perfect season." If Texas had lost, the possibility of an Alabama vs. TCU/Cincinnati matchup would be leading casual fans to CSI reruns. Of course, if the game's a turkey that still could happen.Boise State probably needs to send Lawrence a nice little thank you note too, if they end up in a BCS bowl. A Nebraska win might have hampered their BCS dreams too. A one-loss Texas would probably still get the nod over the Broncos.Heck, Hancock & Fleischer ought to by Lawrence a house after the BCS Championship. Think of it, the entire BCS avoided a huge shiner because of a kicker. Bobby Boucher would be proud.

The Golddomedammerung: Enough with the Bob Stoops talk already!

The Golddomedammerung: Enough with the Bob Stoops talk already!

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 5, 2009

Bob Stoops has said for the unpteenth (well, third) time this week that he's not going to leave Oklahoma for Notre Dame. This after the Chicago Sun-Times said he was "did his homework" on the job. At this point Stoops reaching the point of no return when it comes to putting his credibility on the line. If for some reason he does bolt to the Former Irish, he's going to be joining Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino in the zero credibility pool. The difference in Stoops and Saban would of course be that Saban has a chance for another BCS "championship." The odds Stoops will get a chance for another one at ND are pretty slim.(via ESPN, Chicago Sun-Times)

Minnesota paper honors Favre, insults past Vikings' players

Minnesota paper honors Favre, insults past Vikings' players

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 5, 2009

It looks like the Minneapolis Star-Tribune has found a new way to annoy Fran Tarkenton. The newspaper is teaming up with Sport Publishing to publish Purple Reign: Brett Favre's incredible journey to Minnesota. (Prince probably isn't too happy about that title either)The book describes Favre's season with the Vikings as "the most memorable in the history of the franchise." Well, if Fran Tarkenton wasn't already unamused with Favre becoming a Viking, this will truly be the icing on the cake. All he did was lead the Vikings to three Super Bowl appearances. They lost all three, mind you, but that ought to count for something.Is Brett Favre's year with the Vikings really greater than three years the team went to the Super Bowl? Is that what the Minneapolis Star-Tribune is saying? It sounds like the newspaper is falling into the "sports history before ESPN doesn't matter" trap. That's a pretty dangerous one, since it exposes a lack of real knowledge about the subject. It's an insult to those Vikings players who really did do more in all of their seasons as Vikings than Favre has done in less than one.(via Deadspin)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Albert the Aligator

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Albert the Aligator

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 5, 2009

See, I told you I was going to get to Albert the Alligator, didn't I?Look, Florida. I get it. You're Florida. Florida is full of Alligators. Therefore your team nickname is the Gators. I get it. What I don't get? Why you had to go and name your furry costumed mascot Albert. You want to know why, because the dang name was already taken!Does this gentle fella ring a bell?Yep, it's Albert Alligator from Pogo. You ripped off Walt Kelly, dangit! What, nobody at Florida could come up with a more original name? Florida should be lucky Black Lantern Walt Kelly doesn't go down to Gainesville and deck your halls to Boston, Charlie.(Apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

The Golddomedammerung: No bowl this year?

The Golddomedammerung: No bowl this year?

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 4, 2009

Fanhouse's John Walters sites a source that says Notre Dame probably will decline to go to a bowl game this year. Among the reason cited include lack of a head coach, and resource and money issues. The payouts for the bowls that would possibly even consider ND ( Little Ceasear's (Detroit) and GMAC (Birmingham, AL.)) would pay out a paltry sum of around 750,000.On the other hand, playing a bowl game in Detroit would be perfect for Notre Dame. One great disaster deserves another.(via Fanhouse)

Eli Manning confesses to writting graffitti on Jerry Jones' wall

Eli Manning confesses to writting graffitti on Jerry Jones' wall

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 4, 2009

Eli Manning has finally confessed to his act of social deviancy in the Heathen Temple to Jerry Jones' Avarice Cowboy Stadium. Signing his autograph on the wall in the visitor's locker room to be exact:Here's the catch, Eli's claiming he did it at the behest of an unnamed employee of "a locker room attendant." Is that what he calls his imaginary friend these days? He couldn't come up with a better name like Captain Tuttle? And his reaction?"Yeah, I kind of heard a few things about it,'' Manning said. "I figure they'll eventually get over it."Archie and Peyton need to have a long talk to him about this. Today writing graffiti on walls, tomorrow robbing banks. This doesn't bode well.(via ESPN.com, Deadspin)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Big Al

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! Big Al

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 4, 2009

To paraphrase Dream of the Endless: "Oh, SEC. I love you. You never cease to amaze me." That goes double for the University of Alabama.Never one to let fellow in-state rival Alabamy polytechnic Auburn one-up them in an identity crisis, the Crimson Tide has an elephant named Big Al as a mascot. I guess it was kind of difficult to turn water into a costumed character (unless you count Zan from the Wonder Twins. But he was animated). Actually the Bama/elephant connection goes farther back in time to where Atlanta Journal sports writer Everett Strupper claimed that he heard an unnamed Alabama fan shout "Hold your horses, the elephants are coming." during a game against Ole Miss in 1930. So the team was occasionally nicknamed the "Red Elephants" along with the Crimson Tide.So forty-nine years later in 1979 this thing (eventually named Big Al by Alabama students) popped up at the Sugar Bowl where Bear Bryant's Alabama beat Joe Paterno's Penn State team. How they got Coach Bryant to go along with this is beyond me. I wonder if this was aOh well, it could be worse. Imagine a giant roll of toilet paper prancing around the sidelines. Or a giant box of Tide laundry detergent with legs. Or a cosplaying bear...oops. I'm gonna hear it from my Bama-loving friends now.(Apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier. And don't laugh, Gator Fan, Albert's getting his soon enough)

FOX Means conflict of intertest

FOX Means conflict of intertest

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 4, 2009

Gretchen Carlson, co-host of Fox & Friends and frequent nominee for Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" segment, interviewed Yankee great and 2009 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year Derek Jeter Wednesday. Too bad nobody mentioned that her husband, Casey Close, is Jeter's agent. Oops! Well, like a little thing like conflict of interest has ever stopped anybody on FOX News before.The sad part is that the fawning over by Carlson probably wasn't as bad as the tongue-bath Jeter could probably expect from known Yankee apologist Olbermann. He gets enough of that from A*Rod during the season.(via It Is High, It Is Far, It is...Caught, The Huffington Post)

Mangino reaches the Point of Know Return at Kansas

Mangino reaches the Point of Know Return at Kansas

By Juan Cena in SWRT on December 3, 2009

Mark Mangino's coaching career at Kansas is dust in the wind. The combination of accusations of verbal and mental attacks on his players, combined with a lackluster 5-7 record pretty much did him in. The point of no return came on the heels of accusations of physical abuse with a player accusing Mangino of an act of physical punishment that sounded like it was straight out of Full Metal Jacket than the NCAA rulebook. Needless to say things probably couldn't keep on going the way they were without it becoming an either bigger train wreck. The financial settlement will probably keep this from becoming a mess in the courts. It's too late to keep it from being a mess on campus.(via Rivals.com, KU Sports/com, EDSBS)(postscript: I'd like to thank Holly Anderson or whoever's responsible for this over at EDSBS for making me go and find this little musical gem over at YouTube. If there's a lame song from an 80's movie I'm on it like white on rice. I suck.)

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