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[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT: Goldie Gopher

Written by Juan Cena on Monday, October 26 2009 and posted in SWRT


Hey there, Goldie Gopher! Why the happy face and smug "thumbs up"? Didn't somebody at the University of Minnesota tell you your team sucks? The Golden Gophers are 4-4, with two straight losses. In fact, this little micro-losing streak since you decided to pull this little stunt:



I'll say it again: The Golden Gophers are 0-2 after this little stunt. Coincidence? There's more synchronicity here than you can find at the bottom of a dark Scottish lake if that's the case.
Look Goldie, you just messed up. Minnesota's official spokesman even said so. You should be so lucky that Jerome Hayes wasn't praying toward Mecca or performing some other non-Christian religious act. The leftists in the humanities department would be parading your big gopher costume head the around the humanities building on a pike (or maybe just a broomstick. Pikes are too violent for leftists). And that sorry human inside you would've been expelled.
Syndicated from Shirts With Random Triangles


Hey there, Goldie Gopher! Why the happy face and smug "thumbs up"? Didn't somebody at the University of Minnesota tell you your team sucks? The Golden Gophers are 4-4, with two straight losses. In fact, this little micro-losing streak since you decided to pull this little stunt:



I'll say it again: The Golden Gophers are 0-2 after this little stunt. Coincidence? There's more synchronicity here than you can find at the bottom of a dark Scottish lake if that's the case.
Look Goldie, you just messed up. Minnesota's official spokesman even said so. You should be so lucky that Jerome Hayes wasn't praying toward Mecca or performing some other non-Christian religious act. The leftists in the humanities department would be parading your big gopher costume head the around the humanities building on a pike (or maybe just a broomstick. Pikes are too violent for leftists). And that sorry human inside you would've been expelled.

Posted originally: 2009-10-25 21:48:00
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