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Phil Finebaum compares Robbie Caldwell to Larry the Cable Guy

Written by Juan Cena on Wednesday, July 28 2010 and posted in SWRT
New Vanderbilt head football coach Robbie Caldwell stole the show at SEC Media Days last week. His down-home manner and casual reminiscences  of working on a turkey farm came as a relief from an event that could have seriously gotten bogged down in Agentgate. Everybody in the media seemed to enjoy the refreshing Southerness of the new Commodores' coach. Everybody that is except  Paul Finebaum.
Finebaum, the South's greatest contributor of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses, used his July 27 column to rake Caldwell and Vanderbilt over the coals for not being an SEC powerhouse. Going as far to suggest that Vandy should be kicked out of the SEC.
A few of the little gems from Finebaum's column:

"One can understand the media lapping it up. If you had to listen to three days of sleep-inducing, mind-numbing, coach-speak from the likes of Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Bob Petrino, Gene Chizik and Les Miles, you would probably find Caldwell's monologue about "turkey insemination" downright side-splitting, too.

However, if I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I'd pop in an old DVD of "Hee-Haw" and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie. That's about what I got out of Caldwell's deep fried act last week. And besides, if you're the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn't you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?"

Using this philosophy, Mark Richt should hang out  at the 40 Watt Club, and Urban Meyer should run around wearing jean shorts. Besides, the odds of there being zero rednecks enrolled at Vanderbilt is about the same as there being zero alcoholics enrolled at Georgia.

"Considering this is the best football conference in America, and considering Vanderbilt administrators were able to get their grubby paws on a $20 million payout recently in the league revenue sharing plan, the time has come for everyone else to say enough. Even Kentucky, a basketball school, makes an honest effort in football. Why can't Vandy?"

Vanderbilt actually expects its athletes to go to class, maybe?  (Okay, that is more of a shot at Calipari than Joker Phillips.)

"Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years. What good did it do them? They didn't even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable guy coaching." 


Well, Jeff Foxworthy was busy taping Are You Smarter Than  A Fifth Grader?
 
"At least Vandy officials could have been smart about this season. Instead of giving the job to Caldwell, they could have had tryouts like "American Idol" and let a different contestant coach each week. After the season, the person who did the best job would get the job for the 2011 season. Nothing draws a crowd these days like a good, cheesy, low-rent reality show."

A reality show-style competition to pick the head coach? Interesting idea you've got there Phil...Waitaminute! That was my idea to find a new defensive coordinator for Georgia, dangit! I demand restitution!

Finebaum goes on to suggest that Vanderbilt could have gotten "Mike Leach or a Phil Fulmer to coach this season." Give me a break. Leach is too busy suing Texas Tech right now. And as for Fulmer, well I'm just shocked someone in Alabama even suggested Fulmer be allowed to coach again, much less in the SEC.
In the end, who really cares? Vanderbilt is more a basketball school than a football school, so just live with it, Paul. Every conference has at least one school like that. Heck, the Big East is pretty much filled with them! So what if the football's not great? Nobody's perfect. And who knows, maybe Robbie the Cable Guy Caldwell can actually get things moving in the right direction football-wise.

(via al.com)


Syndicated from Shirts With Random Triangles
New Vanderbilt head football coach Robbie Caldwell stole the show at SEC Media Days last week. His down-home manner and casual reminiscences  of working on a turkey farm came as a relief from an event that could have seriously gotten bogged down in Agentgate. Everybody in the media seemed to enjoy the refreshing Southerness of the new Commodores' coach. Everybody that is except  Paul Finebaum.
Finebaum, the South's greatest contributor of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses, used his July 27 column to rake Caldwell and Vanderbilt over the coals for not being an SEC powerhouse. Going as far to suggest that Vandy should be kicked out of the SEC.
A few of the little gems from Finebaum's column:

"One can understand the media lapping it up. If you had to listen to three days of sleep-inducing, mind-numbing, coach-speak from the likes of Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Bob Petrino, Gene Chizik and Les Miles, you would probably find Caldwell's monologue about "turkey insemination" downright side-splitting, too.

However, if I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I'd pop in an old DVD of "Hee-Haw" and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie. That's about what I got out of Caldwell's deep fried act last week. And besides, if you're the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn't you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?"

Using this philosophy, Mark Richt should hang out  at the 40 Watt Club, and Urban Meyer should run around wearing jean shorts. Besides, the odds of there being zero rednecks enrolled at Vanderbilt is about the same as there being zero alcoholics enrolled at Georgia.

"Considering this is the best football conference in America, and considering Vanderbilt administrators were able to get their grubby paws on a $20 million payout recently in the league revenue sharing plan, the time has come for everyone else to say enough. Even Kentucky, a basketball school, makes an honest effort in football. Why can't Vandy?"

Vanderbilt actually expects its athletes to go to class, maybe?  (Okay, that is more of a shot at Calipari than Joker Phillips.)

"Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years. What good did it do them? They didn't even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable guy coaching." 


Well, Jeff Foxworthy was busy taping Are You Smarter Than  A Fifth Grader?
 
"At least Vandy officials could have been smart about this season. Instead of giving the job to Caldwell, they could have had tryouts like "American Idol" and let a different contestant coach each week. After the season, the person who did the best job would get the job for the 2011 season. Nothing draws a crowd these days like a good, cheesy, low-rent reality show."

A reality show-style competition to pick the head coach? Interesting idea you've got there Phil...Waitaminute! That was my idea to find a new defensive coordinator for Georgia, dangit! I demand restitution!

Finebaum goes on to suggest that Vanderbilt could have gotten "Mike Leach or a Phil Fulmer to coach this season." Give me a break. Leach is too busy suing Texas Tech right now. And as for Fulmer, well I'm just shocked someone in Alabama even suggested Fulmer be allowed to coach again, much less in the SEC.
In the end, who really cares? Vanderbilt is more a basketball school than a football school, so just live with it, Paul. Every conference has at least one school like that. Heck, the Big East is pretty much filled with them! So what if the football's not great? Nobody's perfect. And who knows, maybe Robbie the Cable Guy Caldwell can actually get things moving in the right direction football-wise.

(via al.com)


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