Sunday, April 22, 2018 • Evening Edition • "Outhouser?! We barely know her!"

Idiot's Guide Weekly: Week Four

Written by Christian on Sunday, January 30 2011 and posted in Columns

Idiot's Guide Weekly reviews Blacksad, chats up Wally West and discusses the state of Death-Bags in Comics!

Welcome to a weekly column summarizing the good, the bad and the ugly that occurred throughout the week in comics. With fifty billion websites covering all the minutia of the comic industry and dozens of comics hitting the shelves, it's about time that someone has the stones to take it all in and regurgitate it like a mother bird to her chicks. Idiot's Guide Weekly will cover pertinent news, the best and worst comics of the week, and anything else worth mentioning in a jovial and mocking manner. So enjoy it while it's fresh: Idiot's Guide Weekly aims to please.

The News:

Top News Story of the Week: Wizard Magazine has shut down after twenty years of operation. Say what you want about the former giant, but in a way it spawned the Outhouse. After all, Newsarama was founded by former Wizard employees, and the Outhouse was founded by Newsarama posters. Looking at it from that perspective, the government should have shut down Wizard years ago for crimes against humanity.

There's a new Superman in town and his name is Henry Cavill.

On a sadder note, illustrator Clement Sauvé passed away this week. Sauve was an illustrator on GI Joes/Transformers and Human Defense Corps as well as a variety of other projects from DC and IDW. He was 33.

There are rumors that soon Marvel will be dropping their entire line to $2.99 as well. While, honestly, I think that the damage is done, hopefully lower costs will bring comic sales up. If not, then at least all the people bitching about Bendis's writing online will have a couple more extra dollars to spend on tissues.

Idiot's Guide Reviews...Blacksad:

If there is one story that shows exactly what comics are capable of, it's Blacksad. Blacksad features three separate stories of John Blacksad, an anthropomorphistic panther detective living in a very real post WWII world. Blacksad faces racial tensions, communist scares and grisly murders and overcomes them with all the style of a classic noir gumshoe. Each page of Juan Diaz Canales' fantastic story is lovingly rendered by Juanjo Guarnido, with some of the finest illustrations ever to be put into a comic book. This may be the best comic I have ever read, no joke.

And if you do buy the book, do yourself a favor and pick up the hardcover version. Its well worth whatever price you have to pay for it.

An Idiot's (Short) Interview with Wally West

A new feature, Idiot's Guide Weekly catches up with some of comicdom's well known (and totally fictional) faces and see what they've been up to when they aren't saving the world. This week, Wally West stops in and discusses his obsolescence as a Flash, clears up why he's been MIA in the DC universe for a bit and talks about some of his upcoming projects.

IGW: Wally West, it's good to see you. How are you doing?

Wally West: I'm doing well. It's a pleasure to be interviewed for the site and it's good to know that someone still remembers who I am.

IGW: So, Wally, what have you been up to recently? You haven't been seen around much for the last few months.

WW: After Flash: Rebirth, DC approached me with a couple of ideas for where they wanted me to go next. Now that Barry's back, DC felt like they didn't need multiple Flashes anymore.

IGW: Did they totally ignore the thirty or so years when you and Jay Garrick coexisted as Flashes?

WW: I know, right? Apparently, DC feels that Jay appeals to their aging fan base and doesn't count. Anyways, DC's initial idea was to cut off my legs and kill one of my kids off, but I convinced them that it'd be a better idea to do that to Roy Harper instead.

IGW: That sounds a little...harsh. You convinced your parent company to maim one of your best friends and kill his daughter? Have you seen what's happened to Roy Harper recently?

WW: It's not the first time that Roy's fallen off the wagon. And as for his daughter, I can guarantee that there's at least another dozen of Roy Harper's illegitimate children running around still alive.  I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them were Vietnamese.  He always did love the whorehouses there...

IGW: So what else did DC approach you with?

WW: Well, DC's next idea was to have me join Batman Inc., but I didn't want to work under Bruce again after the whole internet debacle. After that, they asked if I wanted to fight vagina monsters again, but I told him I already deal with that at home. Since then, I didn't hear back from them for a while until they approached me about Flash #9. It was okay, though. I used the time to work on my own independent freelance comic book writing.

IGW: Freelance comic book writing?

WW: Yeah. I decided to do Marvel a favor and fix their X-Men franchise. I've always been a fan of them but I feel like their stories have gone stale. So I just went back into time, did some as of yet unrevealed shit and changed the timeline so they're now fighting in an apocalyptic world where everything's different yet the same. Marvel loved the idea and now we have the Age of X.

IGW: Isn't that basically the same thing as the next Flash event, Flashpoint?

: (uncomfortable silence)

IGW: You okay, Wally?

WW: Fuck. I gotta go to fix this before DC finds out and kills me in Flashpoint! (interview ends as Wally superspeeds out of the room)

Wally West will appear in February's Flash #9 and hopefully in some other books soon.

The Comics (spoilers):

Moment of the Week: Millions of bugs have a Johnny Storm buffet in Fantastic Four #587. If I had to hazard a guess as to what Johnny tasted like, I'd say of overcooked BBQ chicken with a hint of regret for being wasted for an entire run and being unable to kill a single bug.

Comic of the Week: The Sixth Gun #8. First Cullen Bunn incorporates horror elements into his supernatural Western, now he adds in Vodou elements as well. This is one book that gets better and better by the month.

Most Panels in a Single Frame: 29
Surprise of the Week
: Fantomex delivers an unexpected headshot in Uncanny X-Force #4. Remender's X-Force has no competition as the best X-book out today.

Best Character of the Week: Steve Rogers (in Secret Avengers #9). The once and future Captain America actually does something secret for once in his book. Way to actually use your team to do something besides blindly stomp around and punch people.

Worst Character of the Week: Steve Rogers (in Avengers #9). Sanctimonious much, Steve?

Other comics of note:
American Vampire #11: Probably the second best book of the week, right after Sixth Gun. Scott Snyder has me invested in his characters, which makes me worried because inevitably know there's going to be a bloodbath sometime in the future.

Chaos War #5: I'm glad Hercules is getting another chapter in his story as this one was a huge disappointment.

Action Comics #897: The Tenth Doctor dies a second time. So sad. :(

Proof that Villains Need Better Dental Care
Avengers #9
: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark bicker while the rest of Marvel's heroes look on and make snarky comments. Sounds like another classic Bendis comic to me!

Age of X Alpha: Such a shocking world, this Age of X. Cyclops has no eyelids! Cannonball doesn't have a stomach for killing people in cold blood! Toad is Magneto's sycophant. Jubilee is a filler character! least the first one is shocking...

New Mutants #21: Zeb Wells's giant story arc comes to an end. All in all, a pretty enjoyable run for a bunch of second-tier mutants, most of whom have either worthless or no powers.

Justice League: Generation Lost #18: With Power Girl joining the JLI, it looks like the gang's all here. The second chapter closes on the best Justice League story in years.

Hello... (New Characters)

Power Woman (in New Avengers #8): Not really, it's just Jessica Jones.

Goodbye... (Dead Characters)

Johnny Storm: Outhouse Obituary can be found here.

Miss Sinister: All it took was a couple claws to the back to replace Miss Sinister with her male counterpart. Shockingly, Mister Sinister's haircut looks exactly the same as Miss Sinister's...

Quote of the Week: "Women don't like when you say booyah?" Spider-Man in New Avengers #8. Apparently Uncle Ben never had that talk about women with Peter before he bit it.

Idiot's Guide Book of the Month:

Read it today!

Everything Else (Musings and whatnot)

I don't know what this says about comic book fans, but the general attitude towards the "death-bags" that Fantastic Four #587 was pretty positive. I thought more people would be upset with a comic who's collector's value was ruined the second you opened the bag, but I guess people enjoyed the little blast to the past.

All three contestants in this month's Idiot Guide Contest had correct answers, although each came up with a different number. A tie-breaker consisting of a cat picking one of three numbered cat treats was employed, resulting in GHERU being declared the winner. As consolation prizes, both Log-Man (who correctly counted all the Darkwing Duck+Negaduck) and Dragavon (who correctly counted only the Darkwing Ducks) will get an automatic entry into next month's contest so they don't have to demean themselves more.

Next Week: Idiot's Guide runs a response to the Review Group's Anniversary Pick and reviews the worst comic ever! Additional submissions are welcome.

Written or Contributed by: BlueStreak

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Christian

Christian is the exasperated Abbott to the Outhouse's Costello. When he's not yelling at the Newsroom for upsetting readers or complaining to his wife about why the Internet is stupid, he sits in his dingy business office trying to find new ways to make the site earn money. Christian is also the only person in history stupid enough to moderate two comic book forums at once.


More articles from Christian
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!