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Idiot's Guide Weekly: The End

IGW Ends?!


Welcome to a weekly column summarizing the good, the bad and the ugly that occurred throughout the week in comics. With fifty billion websites covering all the minutia of the comic industry and dozens of comics hitting the shelves, it's about time that someone has the stones to take it all in and regurgitate it like a mother bird to her chicks.   Idiot's Guide Weekly will cover pertinent news, the best and worst comics of the week, and anything else worth mentioning in a jovial and mocking manner.   So enjoy it while it's fresh: Idiot's Guide Weekly aims to please.

The End of an Era

The Outhouse announced this morning that Idiot's Guide Weekly, the popular weekly column, was ending. "BlueStreak's wedding, while important, has caused more damage than any hate mail or failed joke has ever caused before," said Jude Terror, Chief Creative Poobah and Webmaster of the Outhouse. "Like any good chocodile, IGW has disappeared into a deep dark abyss from which it will never return."

Recent editions of IGW had hinted at BlueStreak's wedding, but no one was prepared for the shocking conclusion. "Marriage is a bitch. Trust me, I know better than anyone," said Lord Simian, the recently married owner of the Outhouse. " But no one realized that BlueStreak's marriage would reach a dramatic conclusion that would cause ripples throughout the Outhouse and end IGW. By Kong, truly this is the end of IGW!"

"Strippers, cocaine. I secretly root for the Portland Trail Blazers because I like the stench of my own armpits," added John Lewis Hawk, founder of the Outhousers. "Now where is my cheap tequila? I need to find a dog to urinate on!"

"With 52apolooza looming on the horizon, how will the Front Page respond to the loss of IGW?" said Nietoperz, the Swedish forum manager of the Outhouse. "That's what we need to explore now. Will IGW be gone forever? I don't know. Can I guarantee that it won't come back in two weeks when BlueStreak gets back from his wedding? Three words for you: Bork Bork Bork."

The Comics (There Be Spoilers Below!):

In lieu of a normal comic section, let us take a moment to remember all the comics that were cancelled permanently, just like IGW.

Action Comics

Batman

Uncanny X-Men

Captain America

X-Force

Fantastic Four

X-Factor

Thor

The Defenders

Invincible Iron Man

Blue Beetle

Static Shock

Heroes for Hire

Wolverine

Teen Titans

Detective Comics

Venom

Superman

Hulk

Batman: The Dark Knight

Daredevil

Batman and Robin

Supergirl

Mystic

Batgirl (twice)

Ruse

Superboy

Green Arrow (five times)

Punisher

Justice League International

Green Lantern

Sigil

New Mutants

Green Lantern Corps

X-Men

Avengers

New Avengers

Ghost Rider

BludBlood

Everything Else (Musings and whatnot)

Thank you for reading IGW. It's been a blast to share these last thirty-one weeks with you. Next week, GLX may or may not be holding a memorial aftermath edition of IGW. The week after that, there most certainly will not be a retooled and revamped IGW with a brand new logo and new lame schticks to exploit. I encourage all of you to visit back next week and then the week after to not read new editions of IGW.

By the way, this cancellation has nothing to do with my impending nuptials and my lack of time to actually read comics this week. Nothing at all.

In two weeks: IGW Vol. 2 #1?!

Written or Contributed by: BlueStreak
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About the Author - Christian Hoffer


Christian Hoffer is the exasperated Abbott to the Outhouse's Costello. When he's not yelling at the Newsroom for upsetting readers or complaining to his wife about why the Internet is stupid, he sits in his dingy business office trying to find new ways to make the site earn money. Hoffer is also the only person in history stupid enough to moderate two comic book forums at once.

 


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