Outhouse Poster Marius tells us how he would have written Spider-Man from Civil War to the present!
So now that OMD/BND/OMIT is over and "Big Time" is about to start I’d like to take a shot at it. In other words I’d like to write where I would have taken the character post Civil War. Spidey fans seem to be split down the middle in who liked him married and who didn’t. I supported the idea of Pete being married to MJ. I recently read an article on CBR that stated that Joe Q. separated the couple do to a demographic in a high volume of American citizens being divorced and that is who he is aiming at when it comes to sales. I was born in the 80’s so my earliest memories of Spider-Man are the black costume, which I fucking love to death! I read Spidey all throughout the 90’s up until BND. I tried out a few arcs here and there and I just wasn’t feeling it. So just for fun here’s what I would have done.
So BND was about two years right, so I’ll make up some ideas that will cover two years worth of Spider-Man. After/during Civil War we had UNMASKED in Sensational and Friendly Neighborhood. Then we had Back in Black in both titles including Amazing which lead into One More Day. Let’s do a little back ground and then I’ll jump in.
BACK IN BLACK
In BIB, which takes place right after Civil War, the pages of Amazing by JMS we saw the consequences of Peter’s decision to unmask himself on national television. Wilson Fisk, prisoned at this point in continuity due to Brubaker’s run on DareDevil, sends an assassin to kill Peter and his loved ones. Peter has Aunt May and Mary Jane hiding in a motel. The assassin fires at Peter, while his "spidey-sense" has him move out of the way the bullet ends up hitting Aunt May. Peter web slings Aunt May to a hospital using a fake name so it doesn’t raise any red flags. MJ stays with Aunt May while Peter goes and hunts down the sniper. Peter goes to a gargoyle statue at the top of some building and within some webbing he stored the black costume. Now that’s confusing as the web he used to make only last an hour. Now a bag or a case would have made more sense. The black costume is used in this situation to reflect how Peter feels on the inside. So this isn’t the happy joke making Spider-Man we are all used to. Due to his Aunt being on the verge of death and his family being wanted by Stark this is a very dark era for him. Peter finds the sniper and threatens to kill him multiple times if he doesn’t give up the person who hired him. The assassin is shot by another of Fisk’s assassins and Peter rushes him to an ambulance. The second assassin gets a phone call on a cell and that’s when Peter finds out its Fisk who hired them. In the Raft Prison, some police guard gives Fisk a suit and lets him wait for Spider-Man to come. Peter travels to the hospital and transfuses some of his blood to May to cure her. Then arriving at the prison where Fisk is waiting for him out in the open with all of the inmates loose. Spider-Man takes off his mask claiming it’s Peter who came after Fisk, not Spider-Man. The inmates make a circle around the two as Peter kicks Fisk’s ass. Peter threatens to kill Fisk if May dies. At the hospital a nurse informs a dirty officer that Peter and MJ are in May’s room and that they paid in cash for her treatment. Peter attacks the officer and takes May to a different hospital. End.
Now within this five issue arc Peter commits nine felonies:
1. Failing to file a police report on a gunshot wound.
2. Assaulting a police officer.
3. Wrongful imprisonment.
4. Fleeing the scene of the crime.
5. Grand theft auto. (Peter steals the hospital van that was used to transfer May.)
6. Breaking and entering. (Peter had to dress up like one of the hospital nurses.)
7. Reckless endangerment. (Peter carries May pretending to be a dead body across the hospital.)
8. Forgery. (Peter fakes Uncle Ben’s signature in an authorization for patient transfer stolen by MJ.)
9. Fraud. (Peter and Mary-Jane pretend May was authorized to transfer into another hospital.)
Now what we have here is a desperate hero trying to do the right thing who keeps on getting shitted on. Not only is he a criminal in the public’s eye but in his own eyes as well. So the black costume and the dark tone of the series makes perfect sense for what’s happening to him right now.
There is a really cool two issue story in Sensation where a cancer filled/suicidal Eddie Brock is at the second hospital where May is. Within his mind Venom has manifested itself as a dark illusion telling Brock to do bad things. He attempts to kill May but realizes she is innocent and jumps out of a window but then Peter saves him. Brock is then handcuffed to his bed back in his hospital room. Then there was an awesome Sensational Annual by Fraction which really dived deep into the love between Peter and MJ as then lean towards each other for comfort during this dark era in their lives as some SHIELD agents come after them. These two stories are included in the Back In Black concept.
ONE MORE DAY
So we all know what fuckin’ happens here. But before I do a summary let me tackle one thing, the costume. When OMD starts we are back in the red/blue costume. Now this doesn’t make sense to me. Peter donned the black costume due to his feelings and situation, at this point shit has changed! I read that Joe Q. decided to use the red/blue costume because that’s what he preferred to illustrate... okay. That to me is fucking stupid. Let me step in here and keep him in the black costume. Back to the story, Peter confronts Iron Man blaming him for everything that has happened since Stark did use Peter as a poster child for the Super Human Registration Act. Peter asks for financial support since he’s broke and Iron Man denies since Peter is a wanted criminal and he can’t have any ties to him. So later on Stark sends Jarvis, who has a major crush on May, to the hospital to deliver a check in hopes of helping. Peter then travels to Doctor Strange where he hopes magic can help his aunt survive. Strange can’t so he helps Peter by magically having him seek aid from everyone else from Reed Richards, High Evolutionary, Hank McCoy and even Doom. That’s stupid, Reed can’t fix a bullet wound and Beast couldn’t have asked Elixir to heal May??? I’d change all of that but let me continue just a little bit more. After being turned down by everyone he goes back to the hospital but on his way he’s confronted by a little girl. She says she can help him but then runs off. When he catches up to her he finds a woman dressed in red who shows him alternate versions of himself if the spider had never bitten him then reveals herself to be Mephisto, Marvel’s Devil. Mephisto suggest then give him their love/marriage, which to him is invaluable for some reason, in return for May’s life. After being given several hours to make a decision, MJ pushes to take the offer. Mephisto then reveals to them who the little girl and woman were, it was their soon to be daughter. So in my eyes MJ is just about to find out she missed her period. But due to the deal BND starts and their marriage is erased and they now can’t stand being together. Oh, and for whatever reason Harry Osborn is revealed to be alive this entire time... after his drug overdose in the 90’s.
Now, I would have done a lot of things different. Sure, I’m cool with having Mephisto show up and offer the deal but I wouldn’t have let Peter and MJ take it. Joe Q. is all about how comics influence kids which is a reason he banned smoking in comics. I’m okay with that because having Wolverine or Nick Fury smoke was never important. But to have their most popular character, an American known character make a deal with the Devil? That doesn’t make sense Joe. And back to him going after a demographic of divorced people in America needing to relate to Spider-Man is a wrong way of looking at it in my opinion. As I also said before I’ve been reading Spidey comics since the late 80’s but heavily in the 90’s and the new millennium. So if I’m an adult now with a son and I only imagine everyone else who has been reading Spider-Man longer than me how big their families are. We all grow up, start careers and have families. I understand the divorce rate is high now a days but that’s not something everyone can relate to. Now a family, rather it be your own or the one you came from, is something we can all relate to. We’ve seen Peter in high school, college, as a photographer and then as a teacher. He’s been married for over a decade so to me the next logical step is starting a family. We see him have a daughter and younger son in Spider-Girl and even Sensational vol 2 issues #40 as we see Peter retired and raising a family. MJ’s been pregnant before and the writers killed off the baby by making it stillborn. Aunt May was also killed around the same time and was brought back by JMS but that’s not what I want to focus on. Yeah, having Peter and MJ be parents will age the character, which is something Marvel didn’t want to do. But after so many years how much longer are we going to keep him as this looser in his mid-twenties with a hot wife? If they wanted a brand new start at Spider-Man and to make him fresh again was that not the purpose of Ultimate Spider-Man??? I say let them have their two kids and keep it going. Reed and Sue have two kids and no one is complaining. Shit, even Luke and Jessica had a daughter and no one saw it as aging the character. For how many years was Franklin Richards 4 ? ? It’s not like in the next four years their daughter will be starting school, it’s all about the writers and editors who shouldn’t rush things and make such quick decisions without thinking them through. In the Immortal Iron Fist #16, Danny Rand was said to be 33. In Marvel Knights Spider-Man, Norman Osborn is revealed to be 55. So to me that kinds puts Peter at 29? Give or take.
So let Mephisto offer his deal and have the couple consider it. But I have to ask why Peter even risked going to Stark for help in the first place. Peter is a member of the New Avengers at this point, he’s part of a team which is something he’s not used to. But to think that it never crossed your mind to ask multi-millionaire Danny Rand for help when I’m sure he would have confuses me. Even as he went to Strange for help it’s hard to believe Strange wouldn’t have told the team. Or that MJ wouldn’t have asked them all for help at some point. Danny could have set Peter up in an underground base with all the medical supplies he needed for his aunt. And since Doctor Strange is another member of the team I’m sure it wouldn’t have been a problem for him to ask his lover at the time, Linda Carter the Night Nurse, to keep May stable. I get that Peter is used to being alone but he’s not the only one on the run from the law, his entire team is. So to have the New Avengers connect to OMD would have changed damn near everything. Imagine Mephisto arriving to confront Peter and MJ about their decision as Peter is supported by his new family, his team members. Not one of those guys would have let Peter make a decision like that and in truth Aunt May would be super pissed if he did that. Aunt May has always been old in the comics, how much longer does Marvel plan on keeping her alive? I say have Peter turn it down and let Aunt May pass peacefully as his wife and team are there for his support. Let her be with uncle Ben for crying out loud. I’m sure Strange could have let Peter have one final conversation with May in some plane or realm. If not then there is still that one wish deal he has with Loki. Let Strange also confront Stark to leave Peter alone while Rand sets up May’s funeral. Let Peter be accompanied by his wife Mary Jane, the New Avengers, Jarvis, Black Cat, Anna Watson, Liz Allen w/ Normie Osborn, and maybe a few others like Johnny Storm and Ice Man as Stark, Pym, and Reed watch from afar. Have there be two tombstones, one for his parents and one with his aunt and uncle. That’s how I’d end OMD. Let Peter reflect on the losses of his parents, his aunt and uncle, George Stacy, Gwen Stacy, Ben Reilly, Jean DeWolff, Harry Osborn and the recent death of Captain America. And don’t forget that he remembers the House of M world. Let it all sink in...
Here is where I take over completely. BND was about two years so give me two years. Give me Amazing and have it be twice a month, written by Matt Fraction. Have him do Amazing and Invincible IM, not Thor. Then give me either a continuation of Sensational or bring back Spectacular and have it be once a month, written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. Have both books impact off each other during the two years. And I’d like to try something different with the artist. Since this is a dark era for the characters let’s use some dark artist who use a lot of dark solids and shadowing. I suggest Mitch Breitweiser, Steve Epting, Lee Weeks, Michal Lark, David Aja, Sean Phillips, Clay Mann, and Michael Gaydos.
Now what we have here is Peter Parker, a man who feels as if he’s lost everything but his wife, and in truth he has. He’s on the run with Mary Jane and the New Avengers.
Still keep him in the black suit I’d have to change his actual appearance along with MJ’s. Spider-Man was New York’s hero for years, then he revealed himself and now he’s wanted. So to think that no one knows what he looks like is dumb, everyone knows who he is and what he looks like. So bare with me now. I’d shave Peter’s head, just like in House of M. Then I’d have MJ dye her black hair. It’s only for two years so run with it. Stark shaved his head in Wanted when he was on the run!
At this point in continuity Fisk looses his American citizenship due to Matt Murdock. So Peter’s plan comes to a halt after he’s told by DD and Echo. I’d have Echo confront Peter along with Matt because that’s her teammate and Fisk is her stepfather who she shot in the face at one point. So I’d let that rage towards Fisk come out possibly at the end of these two years since no one knows where Fisk is.
I’d also like to have an issue where Peter just unleashes on a team of Anti-Superhuman Restraint Units (cape-killers) who are perusing him. Since Stark made the Iron Spider suit and it recorded Peter’s abilities I’d like to see how their anti-spidey tech matches to Peter’s abilities.
I would still bring in Martin Li, Mr. Negative. This Chinese kingpin of crime is a great twisted character. I’d still have him keep his soup kitchen, FEAST, for the homeless.
With Peter and MJ trying to keep a low profile I’d have MJ assist there making the connection to Li that Aunt May had in BND. I’d love to see a black costume Peter up against the Inner Demons and an updated Hammerhead. Actually, I’d like to see Luke Cage go up against Hammerhead.
Strange’s house is destroyed by the Hood and his un-named gang of super villains. After wards Rand sets up the team in an apartment big enough for them all. Yeah this is temporary and not focused since the team moves in to Steve Roger’s building immediately after. So what happens to the apartment? Rand owns it so why not offer it up to Peter and MJ? I remember him telling Peter that there’s an entrance in the ally for him personally in New Avengers #39.
Now let’s talk J. Jonah Jameson. Now to me JJ has and always will be meant to come across and a greedy, selfish prick with a hatred for Spider-Man. Except for when it comes to his son John, he’s usually an ass. So at this point in continuity he has to be pissed at Peter for making him look stupid for all those years Peter worked there. And at the same time in real life newspapers aren’t doing all that great since the internet and television are replacing them. In Spider-Man: Reign, which takes place in the far future, there is a television station called the DBN and the evening news is called the Daily Bugle. So to me this would be my goal. To have Jameson and Robbie head in this direction and in the years to come establish a news station. Of course you have to start off small with a possible local broadcasting station but it would be a start until it picks up in rating and popularity. This would be the idea, to have the DB be a news station and have the Pulse newspaper replace the DB newspaper completely. This wouldn’t all happen right away but this would be the direction I would lead the characters to in the future.
As for the supporting cast, when it comes to heroes outside of the New Avengers I’d have to say Black Cat and Toxin. We haven’t seen Toxin since he was introduced and his mini. I say bring them both back in during this time for support. Plus, Toxin still needs to be trained and watched so the symbiote doesn’t become evil. Now for friends and family, I’d have bring in Aunt Anna at some point because Aunt May was close to her so put her ass somewhere that’s safe. I’d focus on Liz, Mark Raxton and Normie and how they’re doing with Norman being back for some time now and Peter being revealed as Spidey. Same kind of goes for Betty Brant, Debra Witman, Randy Robertson, Glory Gant and Ben Urich. I’d like to see how they feel about someone they’ve known for years was secretly a hero. Actually, this is what Aguirre-Sacasa’s series would focus on, Peter and his friends/supporting cast. I’d keep Captain Lamont on Amazing because even though him and Spidey have worked together in the past he’s now hunting him down. Now when it comes to Flash Thompson there is a lot going on here. In Jenkin’s Death in the Family arc Norman Osborn got the Flash drunk and made him ram a semi truck in the Midtown High to send Peter a message. The crash left flash brain dead for a while. Liz becomes his care taker and hires a full time nurse. Flash is said to have come to during the events of The Other and works as a teacher at Midtown High with Peter during Civil War. He dates "the Other" and during BND rejoins the Army for the Iraq War. He does this feeling the need to be like his hero Spider-Man. He returns with the loss of his two legs performing a heroic act during the war. As a veteran myself I didn’t really like this character. For someone to have worshipped Spider-Man for years to find out he was one of your close friends I would have rather had Flash become American Son. Wait, that’s not a bad idea...
Now when it comes to Jackpot, Freak, and Menace, let’s pretend that never happened.
Stacy Twins, I can’t honestly say what I’d do with them. But I would have Gabriel be a part of Norman’s Dark Reign some how. Maybe on the T-Bolts or something.
Carnage, well we haven’t seen this guy since the Sentry murdered him in space. Obviously the suit will survive but Kasady did not. So at some point the suit either has to be found frozen in space or make its way back to Earth and find a new host. Maybe a dame?
Hobgoblin. Always a favorite. We haven’t seen Kingsley for some time now. But we were introduced to a new Hobgoblin design in Bendis’ Secret War. As to who was under the mask we were never told or shown. And I can only assume this entire time he’s been locked up in the Raft or at Rykers. I say have someone let him out, keep the same design from SW and make it Kingsley. There is no other true Hobgoblin. This would be a pretty big arc and very important.
Grim Hunt. Now this and the Hobgoblin arc would be the two biggest things to come out of this era. The return of two villains who impacted Spidey’s live in major ways. I’m cool with the Kravinoff family but what I’m not cool is with Ana being a real threat to Peter. She’s like what, sixteen? I have a hard time believing she’d be a real problem to Peter since he has been a hero since he was her age. And since this is a sequel to Kraven’s Last Hunt I’d make this the same length. I really feel it deserved to be longer than just four issues. Just saying.
And the Rhino issues where Mr. Negative sends his new Rhino after Aleksei who is in attempts of retiring I’d keep. Have his girlfriend be killed and have Aleksei kill this new Rhino. But then I’d have Aleksei adapt an amalgam of both Rhino costumes for himself. So now instead of having this strong dumbass walking around we now have a threat and he will be taken seriously.
Other villains that I’d consider throwing in would be Shriek and Carrion because where the fuck have they been?!
Kaine, I have always liked this guy but it’s hard to have him show up and have him be good or bad.
Doctor Octopus. Now I hate what they’ve done to him. I really do. I really liked the new tentacles Ramos designed for him but if I was forced to have Doc Oct only have a few months to live as his body is failing him, I say goblin serum. The serum enhances your strength, intellect, stamina, durability, agility and reflexes. It also gives you a healing factor which would solve his problems and this would also make this character a bigger threat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make him a goblin, I’m trying to change the character from this smart pudgy guy.
Let’s talk Eddie Brock for a second here. As of recent history we’ve seen Jenkins reveal Brock to have cancer due to the symbiote, be rejected by the suit only to be tricked into being bonded with the suit again by Spider-Man. Then in Millar showed us Brock selling the symbiote for $100 millions dollars which he gave to a charity. And then attempted to commit suicide by cutting his wrist after the buyer dies from being released in mid-air by the suit. I guess he felt responsible. The Venom suit attaches itself to Mac Gargan the Scorpion. In Beyond we even get to see Mac as Venom have the suit make a scorpion tail which was kind of cool. Later in Sensational we see Brock in the same hospital as Aunt May after she was shot. Then in New Ways to Die we’re show Matt Murdock representing Brock in court to prove that it was not him who committed all those crimes as Venom but the suit itself controlling Brock. And he becomes a free man who still has cancer. I would have loved to have Brock in Manhattan during the Venom bomb in both New Avengers and Mighty Avengers when the whole city turns into symbiotes. To have Brock finally get a suit back and then loose it when Iron Man releases an antidote on the city would have pissed him off! Now Darquehex and I were talking about all of this and he came up with a pretty cool idea. He suggested have Brock attain the Venom suit again but due to him dying there’s a need to be stronger which would lead Venom to reabsorb his offspring. So Venom would be on a mission to collect his children; Scream, Hybrid and Carnage. I’d leave Toxin out because he’s an offspring of Carnage and not Venom. I like this concept a lot! I’d have it be a co-feature in Aguirre-Sacasa’s series.
Now something that I thought should have taken place was Osborn and the Thunderbolts being sent after Spider-Man and the New Avengers. I’m not talking New Ways to Die, I’m talking both teams going head to head. Osborn, with his giant scar across his chest which wasn’t show in the Dark Avenger’s arc Molecule Man, has always hated Peter. And now both of them are on opposite ends of the law and Osborn is running his own group of villains. Osborn’s Thunderbolts include Moonstone, Bullseye, Penance, Radioactive Man, Songbird, Swordsman, and Venom. The New Avengers at this time are Luke Cage, Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, Echo, Ronin, Iron Fist and Wolverine. Now we already have the dynamics between Osborn, Venom and Spider-Man. But don’t forget that Hawkeye used to run a version of the Thunderbolts. So then you have an old bitter romance between Ronin and Moonstone and his old teammate Songbird. And with the Venom symbiote feeling Peter’s rage and depression who’s to say it wouldn’t attempt to go back to him. This concept to me is how New Ways to Die should have been.
I’d still go through with this and it piss off Peter even more. But why he was such a pussy in the comics doesn’t make sense to me. If anything I can think of one thing to end Dark Reign besides SIEGE, Iron Patriot vs Iron Spider. Yeah the suit was nearly destroyed during Civil War but don’t forget Peter is smart. I mean he did fix the suit so Stark had no control over it during their battle so who’s to say he can’t rebuild it? Especially with Rand Tech?
So after all this bullshit we’re actually caught up to what’s currently happening as Dan Slott takes over as the only writer on Amazing. This is the perfect time to fix everything that’s been going wrong in Peter’s life. And like I said before, since Mephisto took the form of their soon to be daughter I’d have MJ find out she was pregnant. Let this be the sign of a brighter life for Peter. They’re living the nice apartment, the SHRA is gone and he’s about to have a family. And I’d keep the new suit to be honest. Change the design back to the red/blue out fit but now it’s a lot safer for Pete out there being a hero. He’s going to be a father so his ass needs to come back home now. So having a cloth costume isn’t really safe. Now a bullet proof costume that also has a built in police scanner is way better! Oh, and those stupid "spider stingers" he got from The Other, I agree they are stupid! So have someone fight Spider-Man and rip those damn things out of his arms!
I’d develop a career path for Peter to become one of Rand Inc’s top level scientist and I’d have Doctor Connors join Pete.
Keep Spidey on the New Avengers/Avengers and I’m okay with having Arana become the new Spider-Girl. I’d actually like to see her team up with the Young Avengers.
And now that Peter isn’t hiding due to being on the run and is out in the open now would be a great time to bring in some villains to attack him. Like the Raptor idea, well he’s been looking for Ben Reilly and Peter Parker looks just like him and we can only assume Raptor saw Peter reveal himself on television. And now that Peter is out in the open it’s would be a perfect opportunity to attack him.
Bring in the Vulturians from Slott’s Initiative issue.
Definitely have Gargan go back to being the Scorpion with the new design.
During Civil War, in the Pages of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man writer Peter David brought back Quentin Beck from the dead. He was still dead, bullet hole in head an all, and claimed to have a master in Hell. Now I’d like to finish that story up that Peter David was writing.
And last but not least I’d definitely bring in a new version of the Sinister Six: Doctor Octopus, the ring leader. Use Ramos’ metal tentacle design.
Sandman, adapt a more Ultimate look. Like have his body be sand because I hate that damn green shirt! He turns into sand, he doesn’t need clothes!
Mysterio, I wouldn’t do Beck or Berkhart. I’d do Francis Klum, the mutant with the ability to teleport himself or objects from Kevin Smith’s Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do. But he needs his own costume design.
Electro and Vulture, for these guys I’d use Terry Dodson’s designs from Millar’s Marvel Knights Spider-Man. Electro didn’t have the mask stick out like the classic design. It was a mask and it only stuck out when he was using his powers. And the Vulture was put in an all black armor with a red collar.
And Aloysha Kravinoff in the place of Kraven the Hunter. Both him and Klum are mutants so I’d like to have that extra power set for the team. Plus, he was badass in Punisher: War Journal by Fraction.
So there you go. Putting myself on the spot this is what I came up with.
Hater’s gonna hate.
Written or Contributed by: LOLtron
Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook
Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!