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Revolution- Sex and Drugs

Written by Dr. Improbable on Tuesday, October 30 2012 and posted in Features
Revolution- Sex and Drugs

This episode title is not only terrible as usual, but also grossly misleading

Does anyone still care about this show? It’s not the worst thing on television or anything, but despite the fact that characters are constantly on a walkabout and swordfighting and bleeding and dying, it is really… boring. Seriously, how could a show with this much action be boring? And this episode, despite its flashy title, is extra boring. The most exciting part is when NBC stopped being on at 9:50, so I had to watch the last seven minutes of the episode on Hulu. I really wanted to make some jokes relating Sandy's power outages to Revolution's, but I can't bring myself to care enough. Well, fuck, let’s get to it.

Reminder: Nora is dying.

Flashback: Meet Aaron and his implausibly hot Asian wife. I know he’s rich, and really only “nerdy ugly” by Hollywood standards, but we’re about to spend an entire episode making me believe she loves him for him. Right. They’re driving around Skokie or something and the lights go out.

Danny is brought to see Monroe, who says he reminds him of his mom. Monroe offers him food and women. Danny looks more upset about that than he probably should be. Tom apologizes to Monroe but gets promoted to head of intelligence and interrogation despite his setbacks.

Nora is being rushed to some swanky old… country club? Miles says the password. They’re at a poppy field. For people who don’t know, you can make opiates like heroin from poppies. Science, bitches! Some angry dude comes stalking at Miles with a gun and points it at his head.. He counts to three. Drama!

Nothing happens. This unstable guy starts laughing. He’s a little insane. He collects their weapons and takes them into his super swank house while creeping on Charlie a bit. There is awkwardness.

Aaron enjoys some whiskey from a flask. We’re treated to another flashback- two months post blackout, he and implausibly hot Asian wife are walking, sort of. Really he’s carrying her. She’s clearly sick. Some dude sees them. His name is Sean. He says he won’t hurt them and asks what’s wrong with the woman. She has dysentery, because Oregon Trail! The sewage pumps into the lake. Mmmhm Lake Michigan. Still cleaner than Lake Erie.

Meanwhile, this crazy guy’s doctor (guy’s name is Drexel) is growing penicillin. Miles is conveniently O- type blood, so and Nora is sceptic. I’m not 100% on what happens next because I don’t do needles but presumably there is a transfusion.

Heyyy sexy ladiespour Charlie a bath. She gets all nekkid and reflects upon her mom’s departure and her dad’s death and her brother’s kidnapping. We get some side boob action while she rips up all her postcards in her Return of the Jedi lunchbox. Thanks network television!

Jason (nee Nate) is commended for his report. Monroe is concerned by Nora’s reappearance and asks about the pendant. He tells Neville they’ll be bringing Strauss to get Miles and the pendant. Jason seems concerned about the survival of dear Charlie.

Strauss talks about being a psycho slaughterer’s son to a youngish boy. Neville comes in to tell him about his new job.

Nora’s on a penicillin drip. Charlie’s hair looks very well conditioned. Miles thanks Drexel for his help. Drexel delivers a monologue that explains that Miles was a real dick. By the by, he opines in exactly the way I would imagine an American actor would do while trying to evoke Moriarty from BBC’s Sherlock. This is not really a compliment. They go outside and Drexel further explains that “some drunk Irishmen” burned his fields.  Anyway, Miles agrees to take care of them. Drex says Charlie needs to do it, because we have to keep logic the fuck out of this place. She agrees, because fuck character development, that’s why.

Aaron is upset that Charlie is going hardcore. She’s all “I don’t have a choice.” Personally, I think this whole venture is a series of awful choices. He gives her a dagger thing hidden in a chopstick she can put her hair up with. She gets tarted up and Drexel punches her so she can make her story of being an abused prostitute plausible. Miles disapproves.

Eight months post blackout: Aaron’s wife is nearly kidnapped. Sean saves them. Aaron is not doing so great.

Back to the future! Miles insults Aaron. Drex is like, “Yeah she’s gonna be dead.” Aaron is upset about that. He tells Miles to pick Charlie over him and Nora.

GO BUCKS! Charlie is walking to see this Irish dude in her dress. Apparently he’s holed up at OSU, which, if you’re wondering, doesn’t look like that. I guess they found a building with red brick and figured that’d be close enough. They need to stop setting this show in places I’ve been to.

Miles escapes to the kitchen, wastes a dude carving turkey.

Charlie sees this guy with a baby. He was a policeman. Charlie keeps interrogating him. He tells her that he’s seen other girls be hurt by Drexel, who is clearly a bad dude. Glad they didn’t bother including a moral grey area here.

Aaron got caught escaping. He asks Drexy (I’m gonna keep giving him nicknames) to let Nora go. They drag her weak body out onto the front yard. They shoot her up with adrenaline. Can we stop with the needles? Drexel wants them to shoot each other (with guns, not needles). Nora looks kind of confused and Aaron looks terrified.

Dude asks Charlie about Drexel. She doesn’t have her stabby chopstick by the way. She picks up a knife. He easily takes it from her, but she beans him with a pewter teakettle. I know it’s like pioneer times, but I’m pretty sure a modern metal teakettle would still hold up. My mom’s had the same one since the 70s. Miles stops her from sacrificing him.

Drexel gives Nora and Aaron the guns. Tells them to play or else.

Flashback. Aaron apologises to his wife for not being alpha male. She says she still loves him.  This was the point in the show when NBC decided to cut my feed (fuck you Sandy) and so I went to buy groceries.

Uh, anyway. Drexel tells them to go. Aaron tries to have Nora kill him, but she doesn’t. So he kills himself by shooting himself in the chest. Which should make it blatantly obvious that he’s pulling something, because no one tries to commit suicide with a chest wound and a tiny revolver.

Don’t worry; he faked that shit by shooting at his flask, which was apparently made of titanium. He shoots Drexel. He grabs Nora, and since Drexel’s henchmen don’t give a fuck now that he’s dead, they let the two of them leave.

They run into Miles and Charlie (convenient) and Miles asks what happened. He is understandably perplexed when Nora says Aaron is the one who shot Drexel.  Is Charlie going to have to hike around in her skank dress from now on? I hope it’s summer, but they’re always in khakis and jackets so it seems unlikely, though possibly West Coast television writers simply don’t understand that it isn’t cold all the time in the Midwest.

Final flashback. The wife wakes up to find Aaron has old school divorced her. She goes on with the group as he watches sadly. So if he’s so incompetent, how did he survive on his own?

Danny is brought to see his mother on what is totally the same set that they’re using for OSU. They embrace. How sweet.

The take home here is that “compelling drama and struggle” and “melodramatic commercial cuts” aren’t the same thing. Revolution’s main positive attribute is that there isn’t a whole lot else on Monday nights at 10/9c, unless you’ve been watching the past eight seasons or whatever of Castle


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About the Author - DrImprobable

Before you ask, no, Dr. Improbable is not that kind of doctor, and will not be diagnosing your genital warts today. Seriously, put it away. The doc does more of the "mad science" brand of doctoring, though one day hopes to be that "time and space traveling" kind of doctor. In the meantime, Doc passes time cloning things, memorizing acronyms, and using large magnets. When not plotting all the terrible ways to destroy the human race (particularly those found on public transportation), the doc kills time by watching television and making sarcastic commentary on it.


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