Take your creepy stalking to a new level with this iPhone app that does all the work for you!
It's tough being a comic book fan. You spend all of your time arguing the pros and cons of DC's reboot of the character "Vibe" in the Nu52, and it leaves barely any time left to scour the profiles of your female Facebook friends for glimpses of bare skin. Well, no longer do you have to choose between one or the other, as the makers of Badabing! will do your stalking for you while you think up new angles for farcical news articles about Alan Moore.
The new app, available on iOS, uses photo-recognition software to search through your old high-school friends pictures and find revealing images of them at the beach or swimming pool in skimpy swimwear. Creepy? For sure. But you know you've already stopped reading this and are installing the app right now.
Of course, there are still some manual elements involved in the stalking process. Only you can send a teary-eyed confession to your unsuspecting female acquaintances, professing your undying secret love that has gone unrequited for so long. It will still take that personal touch to convince them that you're the nice guy they've been looking for all along, if they would only let you out of the dreaded friend zone.
Why do girls always go for assholes with six packs, anyway? You've been there all along. Right there. Watching. Waiting. Hurting.
Badabing! is available on iTunes for $1.99, which is well worth the price, in this reporter's humble opinion. And contrary to what Jiminy Cricket might tell you, this is all on the up and up. Those babes posted those pics on Facebook in the first place. They want you to look. They just don't want you to touch.