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All New X-Men #5 Preview Shows the Depths of Cyclops' Depravity

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, November 28 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
All New X-Men #5 Preview Shows the Depths of Cyclops' Depravity

Not content with Wolverine hogging all the child predator glory in All New X-Men, Cyclops decides he wants a piece of the underage action in All New X-Men #5.

Source: Press Release

In a preview of All New X-Men #5 provided by Marvel, Cyclops appears to be one six pack of wine coolers away from appearing on To Catch a Predator. In fact, we can see Chris Hanson peeking out from behind a tree in the last page, trying to capture footage of Cyclops in the act of seducing an innocent boy with his thoughts about "revolution" and "not being a bottom for Captain America."

The preview shows only artwork, with no words for context, but we are 99% certain that the story will show the beleaguered former mutant leader trying to convince a student at the Jean Grey School to step into his magical teleportation bubble, despite the school sending home flyers at least once per semester warning students to never enter teleportation bubbles with known mutant terrorists or other strangers.

"Don't do that," reads the flyer.

This controversial story comes just three issues after All New X-Men #2, which went exactly where we have expected it to since the time travel storyline was announced as Wolverine pervs out upon meeting a teenage Jean Grey. Of course, the Jean Grey School Handbook advises that  time traveling teenage gingers should feel free to enter teleportation devices of any kind with Headmaster Wolverine whenever presented with the opportunity, as he is the moral center of the Marvel Universe and would certainly never try to stab a time traveling teenage ginger to death with his claws.

Except for the one time he did try to do that, just a few months ago. SNIKT!

Here's the press release:

Marvel NOW! – ALL-NEW X-MEN #5 First Look!

Marvel is pleased to present your first look at All-New X-Men #5, continuing the critically acclaimed new series from the blockbuster creative team of writer Brian Michael Bendis and artist Stuart Immonen! What will happen when the original five X-Men come face to face with their current counterparts?! One thing is for sure, at the end of this issue, one of the original X-Men will be forever changed!

As part of Marvel NOW!, All-New X-Men joins a number of titles that will take the Marvel Universe in an exciting all-new direction, as the industry’s top creators join the top Super Heroes to deliver all-new ongoing series, great for new and lapsed readers alike!

Each issue of All-New X-Men includes a code for a free digital copy on the Marvel Comics app (for iPhone®, iPad®, iPad Touch® & Android devices). Each issue of All-New X-Men features special augmented reality content available exclusive through the Marvel AR app – including cover recaps, behind the scenes features and more that add value to your reading experience at no additional cost.

An all-new direction! All-new history! All-new consequences! This is All-New X-Men #5!

ALL-NEW X-MEN #5 (NOV120659)
FOC – 12/03/12 On-Sale – 01/02/13


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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