- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, December 05 2012 and posted in Columns
FRANK HERE FOR YOU!
FRANK ASK FOR QUESTIONS AND PEOPLE GIVE THEM! FRANK SO HAPPY! ALL FRANK WANT IS TO GIVE BACK TO OUTHOUSE WHO HELP FRANK OUT AFTER FRANK GET FIRED! FIRE BAD!
FRANK WANT REMIND READERS THAT NO SUCH THING AS STUPID QUESTIONS, JUST ABBY NORMAL BRAINS (THAT JOKE, FRANK FUNNY!)
FRANK START WITH QUESTION FROM OUTHOUSERS FACEBOOK PAGE!
From Facebook Rob Dixon Perry asks: 'what is the story with DC replacing the rugs in their offices.....?'
FRANK NO KNOW ABOUT NEW CARPETS SINCE SECURITY ESCORTED FRANK OUT OF OFFICES, BUT FRANK WANT IT KNOWN THAT FRANK ONLY DESTROY RUGS IN ONE ROOM AFTER BEING FIRED SO THIS NOT FRANKS FAULT. FRANK BET CHANGE ALL RUGS TO BROWN SINCE THAT COLOR OF DC PRODUCT SINCE DARTH DIDIO FIRE FRANK! FIRE BAD!
From twitter @jamesmoore1278 asks: '@DCFrankenstein which comic book company is the worst?'
FRANK WANT SAY DC BECAUSE DC BAD AND FIRE FRANK, BUT FRANK REALLY LIKE FLASH AND BATMAN AND SOON TO LIKE JLD, FRANK ALSO TEMPTED TO SAY BLUE WATER COMICS BECAUSE THEY MADE COMIC ABOUT SARAH PALIN, BUT FRANK NO CAN BRING HIMSELF TO MAKE FUN OF COMPANY NAMED AFTER WATER, WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE WATER PUT OUT FIRE, WHICH IS BAD. SO FRANK SAY ZENESCOPE IS WORST. ZENESCOPE’S COMICS MAKE FRANK FEEL ICKY "DOWN THERE!"
From Skype sdsichero asks: 'Dear Frank, where can I get a cheap replacement penis?'
WHEN FRANK WAS YOUNG MONSTER FRANK ALWAYS GOT CHEAP PENISES FROM ANY ASIAN GRAVEYARD! BRIDE OF FRANK TELL FRANK "YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR" NOW FRANK NO GO THERE FOR PENISES!
From Skype sdsichero asks: Is it true that Marvel wanted to hire you for a team up with Human Torch?
FRANK NO LIKE SDS ANYMORE, NO MORE QUESTIONS FROM HIM TODAY!
From www.theouthousers.com GLX asks: 'What do you think of Grant Morrison?'
FRANK NO UNDERSTAND WORD GRANT SAYS!
From twitter @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein Do racist pitch fork wielding mobs in the MU instinctively know which of the capes are mutants and which aren't?'
PINK GIVE FRANK NIGHTMARES! MOBS WITH PITCHFORKS BAD! FIRE BAD!
ANNOUNCEMENT - FRANK HAVE CONTEST TO FIND BETTER NAME FOR FRANK HELP, IF YOUR SUGGESTION PICKED, FRANK PROMISE TO NOT RIP OF YOUR ARMS BETWEEN NOW AND FIRST OF YEAR 2014! THAT GOOD DEAL!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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