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Internet About to Get Really Pissed about Avengers Arena

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, December 10 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Internet About to Get Really Pissed about Avengers Arena

But it's not for the reason you think. Spoilers, BTW.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Caution: This Article Contains Spoilers for Avengers Arena #1

Dennis Hopeless has found himself in an unusual situation these past few months. He's been under constant criticism for Avengers Arena, despite the series not being released until this week.  Fans have been in hysterics after learning that the writer pitched the book planning to kill a number of teen characters, many of whom have avid fan followings on sites such as tumblr. However, no one was expecting Dennis Hopeless to engage in one of the most tired, worn out cliches found in horror themed stories, namely killing the black dude first.

A leak has revealed that Avengers Arena #1 ends with the death of Mettle, a newly christened Avenger from Avengers Academy.  The teen hero resembles a giant red, metal skeleton and was romantically paired with Hazmat, a female Asian hero.  Prior to his transformation into his current form, Mettle was Ken Mack, whose mother was Jewish and whose father was of either African or Polynesian heritage.  Mack was depicted with dark brown skin and dreads and was considered to be a "person of color", or in layman's terms "a black dude".

Killing the black dude first is a standard, tired horror trope found in both comics and movies.  While a comprehensive list can be found on, the black guy has been killed first in movies such as Aliens, American Psycho, and Scream 2.  Even comic books have gotten in on the action, with Civil War, Avengers X-Sanction and GI Joe's first fatalities being "the black dude".  

Nowadays, the trope has largely fallen out of favor due to its connection to the casual racism found in many Hollywood studios, who gear their movies towards white audiences.  However, the popular TV show The Walking Dead has recently come under fire for killing off a black male character and replacing him within an episode.  

The Outhouse was curious exactly why Hopeless would open himself for the inevitable claims of racism and anger that will follow in the next day or two.  Having watched Fahrenheit 9/11 the other day, we decided the best way would be to angrily confront him on film.  We sent Jude Terror, the staffer who resembles Michael Moore the most, after the writer.  What follows is the fictional exchange the two shared.

JT: Excuse me, are you Dennis Hopeless?

DH: I am.  Wait, who are you?  Why are you filming this?

JT: [Sticks microphone in Hopeless's face]  Why did you decide to kill the black guy first in Avengers Arena?  Do you hate black people?

DH: What?  I... didn't kill a black guy first!

JT:  We read the comic.  We know you killed Mettle.  Why do you hate black people so much? 

DH:  What?  Mettle's not black.  He's red!

JT:  So you were unaware that he started off as a black guy?  You know, before he became a metal skeleton?  Do you not care about black people?  [Shows Hopeless a picture from Avengers Academy #4, which clearly shows Mettle's dark brown skin color]

DH:  I didn't....what the....oh, fuck.  I just killed the black guy first.  I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen. 

JT:  Wait, did you seriously not know?

DH: I didn't even have a clue.  I just wanted a shock death and liked the imagery of Mettle's blood splattered across Hazmat's face. Shit, shit, shit!

JT:  Dennis, you know that you're going to get crucified by this online, don't you?

DH: Fuck!  Tumblr is going to hate me even more!  Get that camera out of my face!  I need to call Dan Slott and see if I can hide in his bunker for the next few months.

There you have it, Dennis Hopeless, inadverant minority killer.  The Outhouse will keep you updated with further developments as the shitstorm develops online. 


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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