- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Tuesday, December 11 2012 and posted in Features
Frank want Gail Know that Gail no alone. DC fire Frank too!
Source: None, Frank speak from heart!
Frank know that it easy to look at Sunday’s news about DC firing Gail Simone via email and think to self, “self, DC hate women!” Frank here to let you know that not true; DC hate everyone! Monsters, magicians, fans, Superman's underwear, and yes, women! DC BAD!
Frank remember when Frank get fired. Frank no get phone call either. Frank get New York Times crossword slid under door at 4AM with only words filled: you, fired, stupid, ugly, monster, dipshit. It take Frank three hours to decipher message. Message make Frank sad. Next day, Frank told that he now secretary to soon-to-be-demoted John Constantine. Frank no secretary! Frank no girl!
See, Gail, you no alone. Frank and Constantine fired by rude 1%ers as well. Want Frank rip off Darth Didio’s arms? Frank do it for Gail and all women! Frank is white knight. Well, grayish green knight. Frank know that this, Karen Berger, that one girlfriend of the Green Lantern, Wonder Woman’s relationship with Superman, that Catwoman cover, and that scene in Amethyst where bad guy try to rape girl (cause when bad guy do thing that mean writer and publisher condone it) prove that DC hate vaginally endowed humans! SEXISM BAD!
Frank call for boycott of DC until no bad thing happen to girl in comic for whole year! Only white adult men get beat up! They deserve it! Frank willing to not have diverse body parts for this, Frank make sacrifice!
Gail, Frank want you know that it be ok. Frank think this good for you, and for Frank and readers, because Frank want you to now go write Deadpool again! Don’t worry about new writer. Frank writing threatening email to him now!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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