- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Monday, January 07 2013 and posted in Features
FIRST FRANK HELP OF 2013! IT BEST FRANK HELP OF 2013!
Source: NONE - FRANK DON'T NEED NO STINKING SOURCES!
FRANK BACK FROM HOLIDAY! EVERYONE ENJOY THEIR WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATIONS? FRANK DID! FRANK GET SOME NICE PRESENTS, MOM OF FRANK KNIT FRANK NEW HAT! NEW HAT GOOD! BRIDE OF FRANK GIVE FRANK NEW HEAD TO GO WITH NEW HAT! NEW HEAD GOOD! BROTHER OF FRANK GIVE FRANK NOVELTY SHIRT FRANK NEVER WEAR! BROTHER OF FRANK TRY!
IF YOU NO HAVE GOOD BREAK, WRITE AND TELL FRANK WHY! TILL THEN, FRANK HELP THESE PEOPLE!
From skype emma asks: 'Dear Frank, are you upset DC is rumored to be announcing something big regarding Gail Simone immediately after they fired her, but they've not done the same with you after they fired you?'
THIS OLD QUESTION FROM BEFORE GAIL RE-HIRED ON TO BATGIRL BUT FRANK STILL ANSWER! FRANK MAD! GAIL NEVER THANK FRANK FOR ALL WORK FRANK DID TO GET HER JOB BACK, NOT EVEN EMAIL SAYING “THANKS FRANK, YOU COOL KAT!” WHY GAIL GET JOB BACK BUT FRANK STILL SECRETARY OF JLD? DC BAD! FRANK MISS HAVING OWN BOOK! FRANK NEED SPOTLIGHT!
From www.theouthousers.com bkthomson asks: 'Frank, why do the Benglas suck during the playoffs'
THEY TAKE LESSONS FROM YOUR MOM! BKTHOMSON BAD! STEELERS BAD! TEXANS BAD! BENGALS GOOD! WHO DEY!
From www.theouthousers.com Black_Orchid asks: 'Frank, Should Junior be brought into the new universe so Black Adam can kill him again?'
NO! NOW THAT FRANK IS BIT CHARACTER FRANK HAVE NO MONEY TO GIVE KID FOR COLLEGE AND FOOD AND OTHER STUFF THAT KIDS BITCH ABOUT! FRANK KNOW DC LOVE KILLING CHILDREN, BUT SINCE JR. ALREADY UN-ALIVE IT NO MATTER!
From www.theouthousers.com bkthomson asks: 'Frank, I do not understand what a stroke is can you explain?'
ASK YOUR MOM, SHE STROKE FRANK GOOD LAST NIGHT!
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, STROKE OCCUR WHEN BLOOD SUPPLY TO BRAIN IS ABNORMAL, RESULTING IN DAMAGE. IN MOST PEOPLE, THIS LEADS TO LONG PERIOD OF RECOVERY AS PERSON TRIES TO REGAIN LOST FUNCTIONALITY. RECOVERY MAY NOT BE COMPLETE. FRANK NO UNDERSTAND POINT. JUST GET NEW BRAIN, LIKE FRANK.
From twitter @TheThirdThomas asks: '@DCFrankenstein What is the best way to save for my retirement? #FrankHelp'
FRANK THINK IT DEPEND ON WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WHEN RETIRED! IF WANT STILL LOOK BEST, FRANK THINK TOMTOMTOM SHOULD BUY BIG DEEP FREEZE TO STORE EXCESS SPARE PARTS. IF WANT MONEY, NO BUY COMICS ANYMORE, THEY FOR NERDS AND NO COMICS HAVE AWESOME MONSTER AS LEAD ANYMORE EXCEPT GODZILLA! BUT HE BIG STUPID LIZARD SO WHO CARE! ALSO, FRANK SUPPOSE A DIVERSIFIED INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO WITH MIX OF PERFORMING STOCKS AND REAL ESTATE WOULD ALSO HELP BUT BE SURE TO DUMP UNDERPERFORMERS EARLY BEFORE THEY DRAG DOWN YOUR PROFITS!
From www.theouthousers.com GLX asks: 'What do you think of Avengers Arena?'
SO FAR SO GOOD! FRANK LIKE ARCADE AND FRANK HATE CHILDREN! WIN WIN FOR FRANK!
From www.theouthousers.com holtom2000 asks: 'If Marvel and DC had to trade one character, who would you want to see switch universes?'
FRANK THINK CAPTAIN MARVEL SHOULD GO TO MARVEL BECAUSE FRANK NO UNDERSTAND WHY HE NAMED CAPTAIN MARVEL IF WORK AT DC! FRANK THINK STACEY X SHOULD GO TO DC BECAUSE FRANK KNOW WONDER WOMAN (BIBLICALLY) AND SUPERMAN IS GOING TO NEED A PLACE TO GO TO GET WHAT HE NEEDS AND BKTHOMPSON’S MOM LIVE IN ZENESCOPE UNIVERSE!
From www.theouthousers.com GLX asks: 'Since you've started writing for The Outhouse, have any other sites tried to get you to write for them?'
NO! FRANK STUCK AT OUTHOUSE FOR TIME BEING, BUT AFTER @TheThirdThomas’S QUESTION FRANK THINK THAT HE NEED FIND JOB THAT PAY IN ACTUAL MONEY AND NOT MONKEY POOP!
From twitter @THEAndyManning: Love you @DCFrankenstein
FRANK LOVE ANDY TOO! ANDY HAVE NICE EARS! HOW MUCH ANDY LOVE FRANK?
THANK IT FOR THIS FRANK HELP! FRANK THINK FRANK DO GOOD! FRANK GOOD! FRANK BACK ON REGULAR BASIS BUT NO KNOW WHAT SCHEDULE IS BECAUSE FRANK OUT OF QUESTIONS...AGAIN1
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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