- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Tuesday, January 22 2013 and posted in Features
FRANK BACK AT WORK AFTER MLK DAY OFF! FRANK SAD MLK'S DREAM NO INCLUDE MONSTERS! WHY HE NO WANT HIS KIDS PLAY WITH FRANK?
Source: NONE; FRANK TOO SMART FOR YOUR STUPID SOURCES!
FRANK ANSWER QUESTIONS! FRANK NOT MEAN TO BE MEAN BUT FRANK MONSTER AND HE CAN'T HELP HIMSELF....SOMETIMES!
From twitter, @TheThirdThomas asks: '@DCFrankenstein Does Frank think Frank possesses free will? Or is Frank bound to a deterministic universe where no other outcome is possible?'
THIS QUESTION HAUNT FRANKS DREAMS IN FRANKS EARLY YEARS. WAS IT FRANK’S FAULT THAT HE DESTROY VILLAGE? DID FRANK HAVE A CHOICE IN FLEEING FROM FIRE? FIRE BAD! IS IT EVEN FRANK’S WILL TO THINK THESE THOUGHTS? IN THE END, FRANK REALIZED THAT IT NO MATTER! FRANK DOES WHAT FRANK DOES AND FRANK PAYS THE PRICE, NOT SOME ENIGMATIC ENTITY, WHETHER IT CALLED G-D OR FATE OR GOZER OR GONZO! FRANK CHOSE TO LIVE LIFE AS IF HE HAS A CHOICE; TO DO OTHERWISE IS TOO DEPRESSING! FRANK SAD!
From www.theouthousers.com, Can you touch me how to dougie? asks: 'Can you touch me how to dougie?'
NO. FRANK NOT FAT ENOUGH, ASK JUDE!
From www.theouthousers.com, BatWatch states: 'Frank didn't really talk like that either in the novel or the comic.'
FRANK NO WRITE ANY OF THOSE FICTIONAL REPRESENTATIONS OF FRANK! BATPERV THINK THAT RICHARD III REALLY WANT TRADE HORSE FOR KINGDOM? WHILE PEEPINGBAT STALKING BATS FOR JOKER DOES HE BELIEVE THAT PIRATES WALK PLANK ALL THE TIME? FRANK NO WANT TO BURST BUBBLE OF BATWATCH, BUT FICTION NOT REAL! FRANK REAL, BUT REAL FRANK NO SELL BOOKS, MOVIES, OR COMICS SO THE POWERS THAT BE CHANGE FRANK! SINCE FRANK SO OLD, FRANK IN PUBLIC DOMAIN, SO FRANK HAVE NO RIGHTS! FRANK MAD! THIS WHY FRANK NO CARE ABOUT RIPPING ARMS OFF PEOPLE, PEOPLE LIE ABOUT FRANK!
From www.theouthousers.com, xaraan asks: 'Frank, Why do most mainstream comics suck? Difficulty: Not allowed to say b/c you aren't in them.'
BECAUSE MOST MASS ENTERTAINMENT SUCK! WHY HOLD COMICS TO DIFFERENT STANDARD THAN TV OR MOVIES OR COMIC BOOK ARTICLES WRITTEN BY HELICOPTERS! LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR SELL MORE! BUT THAT GOOD, WITHOUT STUPID MASSES BUYING STUPID BOOKS THERE BE NO MONEY TO MAKE GOOD BOOKS! IF THERE NO AVX TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY AND NO SENSE THEN THERE NO X-FACTOR! IF DC NO PUBLISH SUPERMAN 15 TIMES A MONTH THERE BE NO MONEY TO (BARELY) PAY FRANK FOR SECRETARY WORK IN JLD! NO WOLVERINE MEANS NO COMICS EVER! SO, STOP BITCHING!
From www.theouthousers.com, xaraan asks: 'why does Marvel and DC want to kill the industry again by using gimmicks to burn out their fans?'
COMIC INDUSTRY DIE BEFORE! WHY NO ONE TELL FRANK? THINK OF ALL THE SUPER POWERED BODY PARTS FRANK COULD HAVE SALVAGED! MAYBE MARVEL AND DC FINALLY REALIZE COMICS ARE DUMB AND WANT TO PUT US ALL OUT OF MISERY!
From www.theouthousers.com, Royal Nonesuch asks: 'Dear Frank: You have obviously benefitted from organ donation. Are you yourself an organ donor?'
NO! FRANK NO THINK ANYONE WANT FRANKS ORGANS, THEY REALLY DEAD! FRANK ACCEPT “DONATION” OF ORGANS THEN USE UNTIL NO WORK OR TOO MANY BUGS THEN FRANK FIND ANOTHER ONE! YOU WANT FRANKS LIVER? USED TO BELONG TO DICK CHENEY BEFORE HE BECOME CYBORG! FRANK DONE WITH IT! FRANK TRADE!
From twitter, ThanosCopter_OH asks: 'Why do you even bother with these articles? No one reads them, no one likes them, and no one likes you! You are a stupid brute with no sense and horrible BO! Just stop it!'
FRANK NEVER LIKED YOU, COPTER! WHAT YOU KNOW? YOU STUPID MACHINE FOR DARKSEID RIP-OFF WHO DON'T EVEN NEED YOU CAUSE HE CAN FLY BY HIMSELF!
SURE IT EASY TO GET LOTS OF READERS WHEN YOU MAKE POOP JOKES AND MAKE FUN OF EASY TARGETS LIKE BLEEDINGCOOL (SEE ANSWER ABOVE ABOUT COMMON DENOMINATOR! THAT YOU!) FRANK WRITE FRANK HELP! BECAUSE FRANK LIKE IT, WIFE OF FRANK LIKE IT, AND ALMOST HALF A DOZEN PEOPLE ON TWITTER LIKE IT! FRANK IS LIKED! TC IS LIKE THAT SPECIAL KID WHO IS MADE TEAM MANAGER, YOU GET LOTS OF ATTENTION, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU WEAR A HELMET!
THAT IT FOR THIS FRANK HELP! FRANK ALWAYS LOOKING FOR QUESTIONS SO YOU SHOULD ASK THEM!
UNTIL NEXT TIME, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR GOOD REPLACEMENT PARTS FOR FRANK TO RESCUE!
Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook
Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
More articles from Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.