Monday, December 22, 2014 • Morning Edition • "Guest-starring Wolverine's cold, dead corpse!"

Dark Horse's Hyrule Historia Tops Bestseller List When Mistaken for Chris Christie Biography

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, January 31 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Dark Horse's Hyrule Historia Tops Bestseller List When Mistaken for Chris Christie Biography

Dark Horse's Hyrule Historia, a history of the video game franchise Legend of Zelda, hit the top of Amazon's bestseller charts after series villain Ganon was mistaken for NJ Governor Chris Christie.



Source: Dark Horse Blog

Dark Horse Comics was quite pleased with itself today when it announced that their new book, Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, topped the Amazon bestseller list for a second time, having hit number one already on the day it was first announced. The book, released in comic shops and book retailers nationwide today, benefited from a New York City pre-launch event that saw fans waiting in line for up to 24 hours for a copy of the book. Dark Horse has printed 250,000 copies of the book, which contains the history and making of story of Nintendo's Legend of Zelda video game franchise, which has been popular with video gamers since the release of the original game in the series, The Legend of Zelda, for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1986.

However, the success of the book may be due not to "popular demand for Zelda canon," as Dark Horse claims in their press release, but rather to buyers mistaking the game's villain, Ganon, for popular New Jersey governor and Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie. It's an easy mistake, considering the villain's pig-like features and political philosophy, which matches almost word-for-word with the beliefs of today's Republican party. Still, the confusion led to disappointment for some readers.

"I thought I was purchasing a book about my hero, Governor Christie," said one angry fan outside a local Barnes and Noble. "But it turns out, rather than tales of Governor Christie's heroic defeat of the New Jersey teachers union, this is about a stupid video game. To me, this Ganon sounds like a real flip-flopper, losing to an effeminate elf all the time, and I'm not sure he has what it takes to stand up to the spend-crazy Democrats in Washington. He's nothing like Governor Christie, who is obviously just lulling liberals into a false sense of security by licking President Obama's proverbial nutsack in the wake of Hurricane Sandy."

Not all of Christies fans were disappointed though. One customer who purchased the book told us that, while the book was not what she expected, she found the courageous struggle of Ganon to exercise the constitutional right of all law-abiding Hyrulians to possess a Triforce of Power inspiring and extremely relevant to Americans today. "I would vote for Ganon," she told us. "I mean, he's some kind of sorcerer, right? That means he's not a Muslim, at least. Right?'

"Wait, are Muslims sorcerers?" she asked after giving it more thought. "They probably are, aren't they. I would never vote for a Muslim sorceror like Ganon."

Governor Christie could not be reached for comment, as the politician had wedged himself in the doorway of a local Red Robin after eating too many baskets of their delicious bottomless french fries, and was awaiting delivery of several large tubs of butter to assist in his escape. However, an aide we spoke to on the phone did nervously insist that, despite rumors, Governor Christie does not suffer from vulnerability to either light arrows or the Master Sword, and that anyone who didn't believe it was welcome to come after him and get blasted with spells from the governor's powerful magic trident.

Hearing about the mistake, Democratic New York Governor Andrew Cuomo held a press conference where he decried his Republican neighbor's conservative beliefs and resemblance to a fictional villain. Cuomo then leapt onto his Goblin Glider and flew off into the night, tossing pumpkin bombs at the crowd as he passed and vowing to destroy Spider-Man.

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia is available at comic shops and book retailers today, and can be ordered online from Amazon at this link.






Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:




Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:


About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.  Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work.  Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.

 


More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!