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Comic Book Fan Vandalizes French National Treasure

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, February 08 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Comic Book Fan Vandalizes French National Treasure

Eugène Delacroix’s famous 1830 painting, Liberty Leading the People, was vandalized by a comic book fan inside the Louvre.

Source: Some French Website

Reports surfaced today that the famous painting, Liberty Leading the People, was vandalized by a 28 year old woman as it was on display inside the Louvre 2: Electric Bugaloo in Len, a town in Northern France. Liberty Leading the People, by Eugène Delacroix, is a a tableau of France's 1830 July Revolution, which is known in popular culture as "the revolt between the real one and the one where Wolverine sings a lot." The painting, which was originally banned by the Comics Code Authority, shows a topless babe leading a shotgun wielding Abraham Lincoln and an army of pirate cosplayers into battle over a pile of corpses on their way to Comic-Con. It has extreme historical significance as a record of Lincoln's overseas adventuring prior to his election as President of the United States, and also for its potential to be used as the basis for a new Jonathan Hickman project. The idea that Liberty, the woman in the painting, would bare her breasts while charging into battle has been an inspiration for the titillating but functionally inappropriate costumes that fighting women in comics have worn ever since.

According to reports, the woman used a black marker to scrawl "AE911" on the painting, which many news organizations believe to be a reference to the Architects and Engineers for 911 Truth, a conspiracy theory organization. However, The Outhouse can exclusively reveal that graffiti was the result of a spelling error, and the woman actually meant to write "AU911," referring to Marvel's upcoming Age of Ultron event and the number of extraneous tie-in books that will be produced for it.

The vandalism was obviously an attempt to add an augmented reality code to the painting, allowing viewers to use their smartphones to access behind the scenes information about the Age of Ultron event. Marvel declined to comment on their responsibility for the crime, but a lawyer for the suspect told us that "blame must be placed on the major comic book publishers themselves, who have taught their readers to have absolutely no respect for art by employing creators such as Rob Liefeld and Greg Land for so many years."

The Outhouse's go-to source in France, Comixology Europe president Pepé le Pew, assured us that there was no permanent damage to the painting. "Don't you worry, my sweet," said the lecherous cartoon skunk. "We will fix zis right up, no? And den maybe afterward, my darleeng, we shall retire to ze bedroom and make some art of our own! Oui oui? Poo poo! Haw haw!"

In response to the vandalization, the French government has dispatched a battalion of armed guards to watch over France's other national treasure, American comedian Jerry Lewis. Unfortunately, on their way to the comedian's Las Vegas residence, the entire battalion encountered the Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls, a local roller derby team, and promptly surrendered to them, leaving the 86 year old Lewis without any protection from hordes of comic book fans eager to write all over him with a Sharpie marker.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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