- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, February 20 2013 and posted in Features
FRANK HERE! HI! FRANK TALK ABOUT PRESIDENTS, GRAMMYS, DARTH DIDIO, AND OTHER STUFF! YOU SHOULD READ FRANK HELP!
Source: NONE! FRANK TOO COOL FOR SOURCES!
HELLO FRANK FRIENDS! YOU GOOD OR BAD? IF BAD, TELL FRANK ABOUT IT, FRANK LOVE TO HELP!
From www.theouthousers.com, FreaknAnimalMan asks: 'Curious how FishLadyPerson got all unstitched in 16. Care to tell us Frank? also, why is it the soul grinder doesn't just make other fully functioning people undead, but also adds stitches and such?'
THESE ALL GOOD QUESTIONS, BUT FRANK NO ALLOWED TO ANSWER! EVEN THOUGH DC FIRE AND DEMOTE FRANK THUS BREAKING CONTRACT, LAWYER OF FRANK TELL FRANK THAT NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT STILL ACTIVE! THAT WHY FRANK NO ANSWER, NOT BECAUSE FRANK NO KNOW! FRANK KNOW ANSWER, HE DOES, HE JUST NOT ALLOWED OR DC TAKE ALL OF FRANK’S SAVINGS! DC BAD!
From www.theouthousers.com, GLX asks: 'What do you think of Taylor Swift?'
TAYLOR SWIFT PRETTY AND FRANK WANT MAKE HAPPY FUN TIME WITH HER (BUT ONLY IF FRANK NO MARRIED, AND FRANK IS MARRIED – AND SHE NO LET FRANK MAKE HAPPY FUN TIME WITH ANYONE ELSE!) FRANK IMPRESSED THAT SHE CAN PLAY INSTRUMENT, BUT FRANK THINK SHE NEED TAKE BREAK FROM RELATIONSHIPS. FRANK THINK TAYLOR NO MAKE SMART DECISIONS WHEN IT COMES TO MEN! MAYBE SHE TRY WOMEN FOR A WHILE! FRANK THINK KATE UPTON AVAILABLE! FRANK NO KNOW WHAT SHE NEED TO DO EXCEPT STOP TAKING UP SPACE IN FRANK GOOGLE NEWS FEED!
From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Who was your favorite Grammy act?'
FRANK NO PLAN ON WATCHING GRAMMYS BUT THEN FRANK’S TWITTER TELL FRANK THAT PRINCE IS ON! PRINCE NO PERFORM! FRANK MAD! THEN FRANK LOOK UP JACK WHITE’S PERFORMANCE ON THE INTERNET THING AND FRANK NOT SO MAD!
FRANK KNOW IT NO “COOL” TO SAY, BUT FRANK LIKE JACK WHITE! HE MAKE GOOD SIMPLE MUSIC THAT FRANK UNDERSTAND, NOT LIKE THAT GOTYE GUY WHO NO DISSERVE TO BEAT TOM WAITS! TOM WAITS GOOD, GOTYE BAD!
STILL, EVERYTHING BE GOOD IF PRINCE PLAY GUITAR!
From twitter, @TheThirdThomas asks: '@DCFrankenstein Since DC fired you, have you considered applying for a job at Marvel or IDW or Boom or Archie or any other comic publisher?'
FRANK APPLY MOST EVERYWHERE! BUT FRANK IS PUBLIC DOMAIN AND OTHER PUBLISHERS ALREADY HAVE FRANK AND NO ONE WANT TWO FRANKS! “TOO MANY MONSTERS” THEY TELL FRANK! THEN FRANK BURN OFFICE DOWN! THAT WHY CASSADY NOT ABLE TO MAINTAIN SCHEDULE FOR UNCANNY AVENGERS! PLANETARY AND ASTONISHING X-MEN NO FRANK’S FAULT, YOU NO CAN BLAME FRANK FOR THOSE!
FRANK NO THINK TO APPLY AT ARCHIE! FRANK THINK THIS GREAT IDEA! FRANK AND BETTY MAKE BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY TOGETHER (BRIDE OF FRANK SAY IT OK IF FICTIONAL!) ALSO GOOD NEWS, WITH JUGHEAD AND MOOSE AROUND, FRANK NO NEED WRITER TO MAKE SURE FRANK NO DUMB ONE FOR ONCE!
From twitter, @FreaknAnimalMan asks: 'Dear @DCFrankenstein, how did it feel to be a Green Lantern for an hour? Quite a way to go out'
THIS STUPID QUESTION, IT AWESOME! BEING GREEN LANTERN GOOD! IT NO MAKE UP FOR FRANK NO HAVE OWN BOOK ANYMORE! FRANK NO FORGIVE DARTH DIDIO, YET, BUT THIS GOOD START!
FRANK THINK IT MAKE MORE SENSE FOR FRANK TO BE BLACK LANTERN, BUT DARTH DIDIO KNOW THAT NO WORK WELL FOR HIM IF FRANK HAVE BLACK RING!
From twitter, @iod1974 asks: '@DCFrankenstein happy president day Frank. So who is Franks favorite President?'
THANK YOU, FRANK HAVE GREAT PRESIDENT’S DAY! DID IOD HAVE GOOD DAY?
FRANK’S FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS HERBERT HOOVER! SURE, HE SUCK AT BEING PRESIDENT AND HELP CAUSE GREAT DEPRESSION (GOOD DAYS FOR FRANK!) AND TRY BURN UP VETERANS, BUT HE BUILD COOL DAM! FRANK LIKE TOSSING ROCKS, CARS, VILLAGERS, AND USELESS BITS OF SALVAGE OVER BRIDGE INTO DAM! IT FUN!
FRANK ALSO RELATE WELL TO HOOVER! HE ONLY REMEMBERED AS HORRIBLE PRESIDENT AND PERSON, DESPITE DAM! THAT LIKE FRANK! NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE FRANK HELP! FRANK STILL ONLY MONSTER TO MOST PEOPLE! NOW FRANK SAD! THIS ONE MORE DEPRESSION HOOVER CAUSE!
THAT ALL FOR THIS FRANK HELP! FRANK HAVE GOOD TIME HELPING YOU! YOU NEED MORE HELP YOU JUST ASK!
HAVE A GOOD DAY!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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