- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Friday, February 22 2013 and posted in Features
FRANK HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO AND OUTHOUSE STAFF BORING AND NO GIVE FRANK GOOD ASSIGNMENT!
Source: NONE! FRANK USE OWN BRAIN AND ASK BRIDE OF FRANK FOR HELP!
HELLO FRANK FRIENDS! YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY? THAT GOOD! FRANK NO FEEL LIKE DOING REAL WORK TODAY SO HE DECIDE TO HELP AND LOOK AT BACK LOG OF STUPID QUESTIONS AND NEW GOOD QUESTIONS. YOU DECIDE WHICH IS WHICH!
From www.theouthousers.com, BlueMole asks: 'Dear Frank: My boss claims that 'For He Is an Englishman' is from Pirates of Penzance, but I know for a fact it's from HMS Pinafore. Can you rip my boss's arms off and beat him with them until he realizes the truth?'
FRANK SEE THIS EPISODE OF WEST WING! FRANK LOVE JOHN LARROQUETTE, HE FUNNY AND NO GET ENOUGH CREDIT FOR BEING AWESOME! ALSO, THIS BACK WHEN AINSLEY HAYES TOTALLY DOABLE! FRANK NO THINK IT IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO PRESS THIS, LET BOSS KEEP THINKING HE RIGHT, THEN HE BE AT FANCY PARTY SOME DAY WITH BIG-WIGS AND HE LOOK LIKE A DUMB DUMB HEAD AND THEN JUMP OFF BUILDING! FRANK HOPE YOU REMEMBER GOOD ADVICE IF THERE ANY GOOD PARTS LEFT AFTER HE FALL!
From www.theouthousers.com, xaraan asks: 'Frank, anyone out there you are waiting to kick the bucket so you can get parts from?'
FRANK NO REALLY WAITING FOR ANYONE SPECIFIC FOR FRANK’S SELF, BUT, HYPOTHETICALLY, IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO KATE UPTON AND NO REAL OUTSIDE DAMAGE, FRANK KNOW WHAT HE GET BRIDE OF FRANK FOR HALOWWEN!
From www.theouthousers.com, BlueMole asks: 'can someone explain how changing a character's gender inherently makes a franchise "cooler"'
DEPEND ON CHARACTER! IF IT BATMAN IT NO WORK, JUST LOOK AT HOW STUPID ALL GIRL VERSIONS OF BATMAN TURN OUT TO BE, ESPECIALLY TOXIC ONES LIKE STEPH AND CASS! IF IT SUPERMAN, ONLY MAKE BETTER BECAUSE HE ALWAYS SUCK AND ANY CHANGE IS IMPROVEMENT! IF IT DEADPOOL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE!
IF YOU TALKING ABOUT JIMMY OLSEN, IT WORK ONLY IF HE BECOME HOT GIRL AND SHE LESBIAN AND MAKE OUT WITH CHOLE SULLIVAN FROM SMALLVILLE LIKE THEY DID IN SHOW! FRANK WATCH WIILFRED, AND CHOLE STILL HOT THERE! SHE CRAZY ON THAT SHOW, ONLY MAKE HER MORE BETTER!
From the internet, Doom'sGreenSkirt asks: 'DEAR FRANK: What ever happened to hobgoblin4life? I want to know what he feels about "Princess Twilight Sparkle"! Who is your favorite princess?'
HOBY GOBY STILL AROUND, LAST WEEK HE GET NEW GIRLFRIEND (FRANK DOUBT THAT LAST!) HOBY LOVE ALL MY LITTLE PONIES, HE TRUE BELIEVER IN MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP!
FRANK’S FAVORITE PRINCESS IS JASMINE, SHE DRESS REAL NICE AND HAVE BAD JUDGMENT WHEN IT COME TO MEN! SHE RUN AWAY FROM PALACE AND TAKE UP WITH HOMELESS THIEF! FRANK THINK FRANK CAN LIVE UP TO THOSE STANDARDS…IF FRANK SINGLE, AND HE NOT, SO…NEVER MIND!
www.theouthousers.com, Victorian Squid asks: 'What is your take on Downton Abbey? Were people really this boring back in the olden days? This would mitigate many of the acts of mindless violence attribute to your person over the years, if you had to attend flower shows and listen to those nitwits.'
FRANK NO GET APPEAL EITHER! BRIDE OF FRANK LOVE THIS SHOW AND FRANK THINK IT STUPID AND BORING! FRANK WATCH PRO-WRESTLING AND FRANK THINK BOTH SHOWS HAVE SAME STORY-LINES BUT WWE HAVE WAY MORE VIOLENCE (BUT LESS DEATH) AND IT MORE INTERESTING!
FRANK NO EVER WANT TO LIKE IN PLACE LIKE DOWNTON ABBEY AGAIN! WHOLE TOWN’S ECONOMY BASED ON HOW GOOD ONE FAMILY IS DOING! THAT STUPID, NO WAY TO RUN SOCIETY! WHAT IF MR. ABBEY (FRANK NO KNOW NAMES) HAVE BAD INVESTMENT? WHOLE TOWN GO UNDER! THAT DANGEROUS! THAT BE LIKE IF IN FRANK’S NEW HOME, AMERICA, MOST OF MONEY IN HANDS OF FEW PEOPLE AND THERE NOTHING TO STOP THEM FROM INVESTING AND LOSING ALL MONEY AND CAUSE MARKETS AND EVERYONE ELSE TO SUFFER, IT NO MAKE SENSE!
SQUIDWORTH MAKE GOOD POINT, LIFE REALLY BORING IN OLDEN DAYS; FRANK LOVE TV AND TELEPHONE, AND COMICS, AND INTERNET, AND CENTRAL AIR! FRANK NO THINK FRANK WOULD STICK AROUND IF EMP PULSE (ELECTRO MAGNETIC PULSE PULSE) EVER TOOK ALL THAT AWAY FROM FRANK! MAYBE MOVE SOMEHWERE THAT STILL HAVE IT, OR TAKE BRIDE AND SON OF FRANK OFF SOMEWHERE IN FRANK’S SHIP! FRANK WONDER WHAT IT LIKE TO HAVE ALIEN ARM!
OK, FRANK DONE FOR NOW! FRANK KNOW THERE MORE QUESTIONS AND FRANK GET TO THEM NEXT WEEK!
YOU AKS FRANK MORE QUESTIONS! FRANK LIKE YOU!
HAVE GOOD DAY!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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