Thursday, June 21, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "The trash of the multiverse has gotta end up somewhere."

DC Goes to New Heights to Spoil Batman Inc.

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, February 25 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
DC Goes to New Heights to Spoil Batman Inc.

DC is finding new solutions to reach comic book fans who haven't read today's New York Post.

Source: New York Post

DC Comics is bound and determined to let people know what happens in their comics before they're released.  While the comics publisher warned fans that a major news outlet would be spoiling this Wednesday's Batman Incorporated #8, no one was expecting for the spoilers to hit news outlets on Monday.

"They keep announcing these things earlier and earlier," said Thomas Young, a real estate broker and comic book fan living in Savannah, GA.  "It's like they want me to read the spoilers no matter how hard I try to avoid them." 

However, due to the collapse of print media, not everyone has read this week's spoilers. "I gave up reading newspapers years ago," said Jonathan McCrackle, an IT tech living in New York City.  "So, DC can spoil whatever they'd like there."

According to at least one insider, DC seems to have realized the lack of influence print media has on today's society and is seeking out new ways to spoil comics.  According to our source, DC is looking for non-traditional means of getting the spoilers out to fans.

"That's absolutely not true," said DC Marketing guru Alex Segura, when asked about their non-traditional strategy to spoil their comics.  "We feel that our comics are deserving of news coverage, but we're certainly not trying to ruin the experience for our fans.  Now if you'll excuse me, Bob's Sky Writing Express Service is on the other line and I wanted to make sure he spells 'Damien' right when he writes a spoiler over the Manhattan skyline during today's lunch hour." 

DC co-publisher Dan Didio agreed with Segura  "Listen, just because I've just had 10,000 fortune cookies filled with a detailed synopsis of this week's Batman Incorporated #8 rush delivered to Chinese restaurants close to comic book stores doesn't mean we want to spoil the comic book!" he said. "Now make sure you tell all your readers to eat Chinese before they read their comics this week!"

While DC has denied that they're trying spoil the comic for fans, at least one person connected to the comic thinks otherwise.  "Ay coorse we're spoilin' th' wee bloomin' comic book!" added Grant Morrison, speaking in a comically overstated Scottish accent.  "Ah dorn't want anyain tae actually reid it!  If sales dip law enaw, i'll gie tae write 'at Stephanie Broon comic i've aye wanted. Noo gang awa', ye pink elephant, aam trippin' balls an' dorn't wish tae be disturbed."

Batman Incorporated #8 comes out this Wednesday.  Avoid the Internet if you don't wish to be spoiled. 


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


More articles from ThanosCopter
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!