- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, February 27 2013 and posted in Features
FRANK IN BAD MOOD BUT HE DO BEST AND NO TAKE IT OUT ON READERS OF FRANK HELP!
Source: NONE! NO ONE EVER HELP FRANK...THAT NO TRUE, BRIDE OF FRANK HELP
FRANK IN NO MOOD FOR ANY CRAP TODAY, SO THANOS COPTER BEST KEEP HIS OPINIONS TO SELF OR FRANK GET MAD!
FRANK THINK HE ABLE TO PUT PERSONALY STUFF ASIDE FOR THIS FRANK HELP! IF NOT, TOO BAD, YOU WANT TO COME OVER HERE AND MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?
FRANK SORRY FRANK YELLED!
From twitter, @TheThirdThomas asks: '@DCFrankenstein I am thinking about getting a pet. Any recommendations? #FRANKHELP'
DOG ONLY CORRECT ANSWER! FISH ARE BASICALLY FURNITURE AND CATS ARE EVIL! KITTENS GOOD, BUT THEY BECOME CATS! CATS BAD! YOU COULD TRY AND GET BABY HIPPO, BUT THEY GET BIG LIKE ADULT HIPPO AND FRANK NO KNOW HOW BIG YOUR HOUSE IS.
FRANK ALWAYS WANT LEMUR, BUT BRIDE OF FRANK SAY “NO!” BUT SHE ALSO PROMISE TO BUY FRANK A PUMA AND A DRAGON 10 YEARS AGO AND FRANK NO HAVE EITHER, SO SHE NO RELIABLE AND FRANK NO LISTEN! FRANK GO TO ZOO AFTER THIS TO GET LEMUR! NO ONE STOP FRANK!
From www.theouthousers.com, draco x asks: 'Why is Steven Seagal such an asshole?'
RANDOM FACT! MOM OF FRANK HAVE MAJOR CRUSH ON STEVEN SEGAL! FRANK NO GET IT, BUT AS FRANK BEING BUILT INTO ADULT, FRANK HE HAVE TO WATCH ALL SEGAL MOVIES WITH MOM! IT GET WEIRD EVENTUALLY!
SEGAL ASSHOLE BECAUSE HE BECOME FAT AND CHICK NORRIS STILL GETS PRESS! SEGAL STILL WANT BE IN UNDER SIEGE SHAPE, INSTEAD HE IN BLIMP SHAPE! HE ALSO MAD THAT HE SANE AND BECOME COP AND DO GOOD THINGS FOR WORLD AND CHUCK NORRIS BECOME FASCIST DOUCHEBAG AND HE GET INTERVIEWS! IT NO FAIR!
From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'What are your picks for the Oscars this year?'
FRANK NO SEE ANY OF THE MOVIES, SO FRANK NO KNOW! FRANK DO KNOW THAT SKYFALL UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT AND FRANK MAD IT EXISTS! FRANK WATCHED IRON SKY THE OTHER NIGHT, IT ABOUT SPACE NAZIS! IT BETTER THAN SKYFALL!
FRANK GUESS HE HAPPY ARGO WIN, BUT IT STILL NO MAKE SENSE THAT AFFLECK NO NOMINATED!
From www.theouthousers.com, GLX asks: 'What do you think of Cyclops?'
FRANK NO USED TO LIKE HIM! HE STUPID AND STUCK IN MUD AND NO FUN, BASICALLY MARVEL’S SUPERMAN! NOW HE INTERESTING! AND HE KILL USELESS CHARES XAVIER WHO NO DO ANYTHING RIGHT FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS! XAVIER ONCE TELL FRANK THAT IT NO MATTER IF PARTS OF FRANK COME FROM MUTANTS, FRANK NO EVER BE ADMITTED TO SCHOOL! THEN MORAL CENTER OF MARVEL UNIVERSE, WOLVERINE, TRY AND STAB FRANK OUT OF ADMISSIONS OFFICE!
WOLVERINE BAD! THIS WAS MARVEL FRANK ATTACK THE JEAN GREY SCHOOL!
From www.theouthousers.com, Black_Orchid asks: 'Why is society pressuring me into getting a Facebook account?'
FRANK NO THINK ANYONE PRESSURING YOU TO GET FACEBOOK BUT YOU! FACEBOOK IS BECOMING WAY THAT PEOPLE SHARE INFORMATION AND “INTERESTING” STUFF TO LOT OF PEOPLE, IT CONVENIENT AND EASY (LIKE BKTHOMSON's MOM!) AND IF YOU NO WANT FACEBOOK YOU MAY NO KNOW THESE THINGS! YOU MAKE CHOICE TO BE “COOL” AND NO DO POPULAR THING, IT NOT SOCIETY’S FAULT YOU LEFT BEHIND! HIPSTERISHNESS HAVE CONSEQUENCES AND YOU NO CAN EXPECT EVERYONE ELSE TO CHANGE HOW THEY COMMUNICATE, GET INFORMATION, ET AL JUST TO FIT YOUR NEED TO BUCK THE TREND!
FRANK LIKE BLACK_ORCHID, BUT “I NO HAVE FACEBOOK” HAS SAME CONNOTATION AS "I NO WATCH TV" OR “I NO READ BIG TWO COMICS” WE GET IT, YOU TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL OF FRANK, BUT NO NEED TO GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT LIKE SOME DRUNK ROBOT FRANK USED TO KNOW!
YOU GET FACEBOOK OR DON’T, BUT IT YOUR CHOICE, NO BLAME PEOPLE WHO HAVE AND LIKE AND USE IT!
FRANK NO HAVE OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE! MAYBE IF FRANK GET ONE MORE PEOPLE READ FRANK! IT WORK FOR FRANK FRIEND XARAAN AND HIS AWESOME COMIC, A JOURNEY THROUGH SKYRIM, BUT IT NO WORK FOR FRANK FRIEND GHERU WHO NO GOOD ANYWAYS!
THAT IT! FRANK HOPE FRANK HELPED!
YOU LIKE FRANK? TELL FRINEDS! NOW!
HAVE GOOD DAY!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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