The Outhouse editor admonished the Outhouse staff for posting bullshit rumors from Latino Review
Source: Inspired by the Ain't It Cool Debunking of the Planet Hulk Rumors
Outhouse Editor in Chief Christian Hoffer publicly admonished the Outhouse Newsroom today for continuously reporting on tainted rumor source LatinoReview's movie rumors.
"What the fucking fuck?" said the criminally dashing and fit Outhouse chief. "Why do you people keep giving this site the time of day? They haven't gotten a single rumor right in nine months!" The editor in chief was referring to LatinoReview's correct reporting of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, which had previously been hinted at by Marvel's purchase of URLs such as www.weremakingaguardiansofthegalaxymoviesbutdonttellanyoneuntilcomicon.com.
Since then, the site has reported on a number of increasingly outlandish rumors that have been regurgitated by every comic book website known to man, thus cheapening the entire comic book blogosphere.
"But Planet Hulk sounds believable!" protested Outhouse reporter Jude Terror, who wrote an article about the recently disproven Planet Hulk movie rumors.
"NO!" yelled Hoffer.
"But I like Jason Momoa!" protested Outhouse writer Xaaran, whose Skyrim articles singlehandedly keep the website running. "I could see him as Drax."
"NO!" yelled Hoffer. "Even LatinoReview backed away from that rumor. That was fan casting and you know it!"
"But the Justice League movie!" said Outhouse reporter ThanosCopter, from his birdeye's view of New York City.
"THERE NEVER WAS A JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE!" roared Hoffer. "Christ, almighty. We do not need to report on every bullshit rumor that floats to the top of the Internet. Joseph Gordon-Levitt will not replace Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man. Gina Garano should never be associated with any superhero movie ever. They are not about to adapt Flashpoint as an animated movie."
"Actually, boss, they are doing that," said ThanosCopter.
"Shut up, I'm on a roll," retorted Hoffer. "We are not your typical hitsucking site that needs to publish 50 articles a day regurgitating tidbits from second rate entertainment blogs. We are better than that. We don't need to seed our articles with stuff like 'superhero porn' or 'The Walking Dead spoilers'. We just need to focus on making fictional quotes and snarking the hell of all the actual, real comic book related news instead of reporting on stupid rumors about movies that are longshots at best."
After the dressing down, Hoffer made the gathered reporters swear not to report anymore stupid rumors about comic book related movies. Unfortunately, all the reporters' fingers were crossed behind their backs.
The Outhouse will keep you updated on the inner workings of its Newsroom while there is no other real news to report.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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