Monday, December 22, 2014 • Morning Edition • "Memorial to dead childhoods."

FRANK HELP! - 03/06/2013

Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, March 06 2013 and posted in Features
FRANK HELP! - 03/06/2013

FRANK HELP! BACK! FRANK GOOD! NO FRANK BAD!



Source: NONE - FRANK GOOD AT JOB!

HI FRIENDS OF FRANK! FRANK SAY "HI" BACK - HI! FRIENDS KEEP SENDING FRANK QUESTIONS AND FRANK ANSWER! FRANK GOOD AT ADVICE JOB!

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From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Now that Geoff Johns is off Green Lantern, would you like him to write a Frankenstein series? What big change do you think he would bring to such a book?'

FRANK HAPPY IF ANYONE WRITE NEW FRANK CENTRIC BOOK! WELL, NO, NOT ANYBODY, BUT OUTHOUSE PTB TELL FRANK THAT HE NO ALLOWED TO SAY THAT FRANK NO LIKE VICTOR GISHLER OR MATT FRACTION BECAUSE OUTHOUSE NEED HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH CREATORS!

IF JOHNS WRITE FRANK, FRANK HOPE THAT JOHNS NO MAKE FRANK WEAR PURPLE! PURPLE BAD! FRANK NO MIND IF FRANK STAR TO RUN REALLY FAST! RUNNING FAST FUN! FRANK THINK THAT IF WALLY NO USE LEGS HE NO NEED THEM!  FRANK WORRIED THAT JOHNS TRY AND SAY THAT FRANK IS NOT FIRST FRANK AND THAT FRANK WOULD HAVE TO FIGHT A BUNCH OF OTHER FRANKS TO EARN TITLE OF MAIN FRANK! THAT SEEM LIKE HARD WORK! FRANK NO WANT THAT!  JOHNS SHOULD WRITE FRANK AND MAKE FRANK NEW BATMAN PROTÉGÉ! FRANK NO DIE FROM CROWBARS OR STABBING! FRANK BEST ROBIN EVER!

From www.theouthousers.com, holtom2000 asks: 'When will L-Ron and manga khan make their dcnu debut?'

AT FIRST FRANK PRETTY SURE THAT YOU MAKE THOSE NAMES UP, THEY STUPID! THEN FRANK USE THE GOOGLE! HOLT KNOW GOOGLE? IT GOOD!  FRANK ALMOST THINK THAT L-RON WRITE BATTLEFIELD EARTH, AND FRANK LAUGH BECAUSE IT ONE OF FEW THINGS WORSE THAN BRUCE JONES NIGHTWING AND MARVEL NOW THUNDERBOLTS!

FRANK KNOW BETTER NOW AND FRANK HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THEY MAKE NEW52 DEBUT!  FRANK NO CARE EITHER! WHERE WERE THEY WHEN FRANK NEED THEM? TWO ROBOTS WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY HELPFUL IN MONSTER SQUAD, BUT THEY PROBABLY SITTING BACK EATING BONBONS AND NO HELP NO ONE!

From www.theouthousers.com, draco x asks: 'Why won't Lindsey Lohan, Chris Brown, Kim Kardashian and the rest of her family just go away so we won't have to hear about them anymore?'

NEVER! THEY MAKE DEAL WITH DEVIL TO LIVE FOREVER! NOT THESE SPECIFIC PEOPLE, BUT SPIRITS OF DOUCHE-BAGS LONG DEAD ARE RESURRECTED EACH GENERATION TO POISON POP CULTURE AND NEWS IN ORDER TO BRING ABOUT A GLOBAL MORAL AND INTELLECTUAL DOWNFALL THAT WILL USHER IN A NEW EAR OF DARKNESS AND TORMENT!  IT NO GOOD!  FRANK SORRY TO TELL YOU BAD NEWS!

From www.theouthousers.com, GLX asks: 'Would you ever wrestle other monsters in a professional wrestling league?'

YES!  FRANK LOVE A GOOD FIGHT, AND FRANK LOVE IF HE PAID TO BEAT UP OTHER MONSTERS! FRANK THINK FRANK HAPPIEST IF FRANK GO BACK TO ROOTS AND WRESTLE AS ‘BAD GUY!’ FRANK MAKE TAG TEAM WITH OLD WWF WRESTLER, THE CHRISTMAS CREATURE, AND THE TWO OF US GO AROUND SPOILING GOOD AND HAPPY TIMES FOR EVERYONE! WE CALLED THE RUINERS! NO, THAT DUMB! FRANK THINK ABOUT NAME LATER!

WE THEN GO HEAD TO HEAD WITH MONSTER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION, KANE AND UNDERTAKER, AND WHEN WE DONE, FRANK GET KEEP 'TAKER’S HAT!

From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Can you explain this "Harlem Shake" thing?'

NO!

From twitter, @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein Dear Frank, If WB made a Creature Commandos movie, who would you want to play you?'

OHHHH, THIS GOOD QUESTION! FRANK ALWAYS LIKE PINK QUESTIONS! FRANK THINK THAT IF FRANK HAD CHOICE OF BEST ACTORS FRANK PICK RYAN GOSLING TO PLAY FRANK! HE LOOK LOT LIKE FRANK! WHAT, FRANK PRETTY!

BUT, ITS CW, SO THAT NO OPTION! FRANK KNOW! THAT GUY WHO WAS IN VERONICA MARS, THE ONE WHO WAS HER BOYFRIEND! NO, NOT THE ONE THAT WAS ALMOST HER BROTHER, THE OTHER ONE! UGH! FRANK GO TO GOOGLE AGAIN (PINK KNOW GOOGLE?), HOLD ON…

YEA, HE PLAY LOGAN! JASON DOHRING! HE HAS GOOD HEAD SHAPE TO PLAY FRANK!  OFF TOPIC, WHAT EVER HAPPEN TO BRANDON FRASER?

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FRANK SEEM TO BE DOING GOOD AT ADVICE AND KEEPING TO GOOD SCHEDULE! FRANK NO FLAKE OUT! FLAKE OUT BAD!

YOU ASK MORE QUESTIONS, MAYBE ONES WHERE FRANK HELP!

TWITTER
OHUTHOUSE

BYE!







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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.


Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
 

 


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