- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, March 20 2013 and posted in Features
Source: FRANK'S NEW BRAIN!
FRANK FRIENDS! FRANK SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! FRANK HAD BAD WEEK AND NEED SEE FRIENDLY FACES, IF ONLY TO FIND ONE TO REPLACES BRIDE OF FRANKS PERMANENT SCOWL! FRANK NO KNOW WHY SHE ALWAYS BAD, SOMETHING ABOUT NOT LISTENING!
THAN NO IMPORTANT NOW, FRANK HERE TO HELP YOU
From www.theouthousers.com, Black_Orchid asks: 'We know about your aversion to fire, how do you feel about electrical storms?'
FRANK LIKE ELECTRICITY, IT WHAT MAKE FRANK ALIVE! NO LIGHTNING NO FRANK! NO FRANK BAD!
From www.theouthousers.com, Royal Nonesuch asks: 'Dear Frank, Would it be possible, should I damage my liver too much this St. Patrick's Day, to simply replace my liver? Or is that something only monsters can do? Wait, can you replace your internal organs individually, or just your outward anatomy?'
THERE LOTS OF QUESTIONS IN THIS QUESTION, MAKE FRANK HEAD HURT!
OK, FRANK BACK WITH NEW HEAD AND NOW CAN ANSWER ROYAL FRANKNOCANPRONOUNCELASTNAME! YES, IT EASY TO REPLACE LIVER, JUST GO TO DOCTOR AND THREATEN TO SMASH AND HE GIVE ROYAL NEW LIVER! IF ROYAL HAVE FRIEND LIKE FRANK THERE TO HELP, IT SIMPLE TO CONVINCE DOCTOR TO REPLACE LIVER FOR FREE!
FRANK CAN REPLACE INTERNAL ORGANS ALL BY THEMSELVES, BUT WHY DO THAT WHEN IT EASIER TO JUST FIND NEW TORSO AND REPLACE ALL THE ORGANS! ALL THE ORGANS ARE BELONG TO FRANK!
From www.theouthousers.com, Lord Simian asks: 'Dear Frank, You do realize that that last question in the thread was nothing but a thinly disguised attempt by Royal Nonesuch to ask about your junk, right?'
WHY YOU MAKE FUN OF FRANK’S COLLECTION OF HEADLESS BARBIE DOLLS? IT NO JUNK, IT IMPORTANT PART OF AMERICANA AND MUST BE PRESERVED!
From www.theouthousers.com, GLX asks: 'Where have all the cowboys gone?'
From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Frank, who did you bet on... I mean were you rooting for for Pope? / What is the Papacy's stance on golems anyway?'
FRANK NO ROOT FOR SPECIFIC POPE, BUT FRANK WAS HOPING FOR YOUNGER POPE! FRANK KNOW CATHOLIC CHURCH IS INFALLIBLE AND POPE NO CAN BE WRONG CHOICE BY DEFINITION, BUT IF POPE YOUNGER THAT GIVE FRANK MORE TIME TO SALVAGE PART OF POPE! FRANK NEVER PART HOLY MAN BEFORE AND FRANK WANT KNOW WHAT IT LIKE TO BE BLESSED!
FRANK JUST GUESSING, BUT FRANK NO THINK CHURCH LIKE GOLEMS SINCE THEY MIXTURE OF SCIENCE AND JEWISH MYSTICISM! CATHOLIC CHURCH NO BIG ON SCIENCE AND NOT ALWAYS BEST FRIENDS OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE! BUT FRANK COULD BE WRONG!
From twitter, @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein With so many master detectives in the DCU, is filling out the NCAA brackets for the office pool a waste of time?'
NO! BASKETBALL MORE THAN JUST STATS AND QUANTIFIABLE PARTS EASY FOR DETECTIVES TO PREDICT! IT ALSO ABOUT HUMAN DRIVE AND QUALITATIVE ASPECTS THAT ARE NOT SO EASILY STUDIED! IF IT EASY TO FILL OUT POOL AND SAY WHO WINNER WILL BE THEN THERE NO NEED FOR TOURNAMENT AT ALL! IT NOT LIKE DC’S DETECTIVES HAVE BEST INNER-PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND FRANK NO THINK THEY GOOD AT SAYING WHAT WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE DO! BATMAN NO CAN EVEN STOP MANBAT, AND HE DUMBER THAN FRANK!
EVEN IF THEY GET ALL CHOICES RIGHT, JOY OF FILLING IN BRACKETS NO COME FROM BEING RIGHT, IT COME FROM WATCHING GAMES AND SHOUTING IN FRIENDS FACES THAT THEY WRONG! IT NOT NICE, BUT FUN! FUN GOOD!
THAT IT FOR THIS WEEKS FRANK HELP! FRANK KNOW YOU HAD A GOOD TIME AND WILL COME BACK AGAIN! FRANK NOTICE THAT SAME PEOPLE ALWAYS ASKING QUESTIONS, MAYBE YOU ASK NEXT TIME?
FRANK THINKING ABOUT MAKING FACEBOOK PAGE FOR FRANK, WHAT FRANK FRIENDS THINK?
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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