El Mayimbe, the hard partying scoopster at Latino Review, is reporting that MMA fighter Georges St-Pierre will be playing Batroc the Leaper in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. If his scoop is to be believed, this means that we'll officially be watching a movie featuring a Frenchman hopping around like a kangaroo.
Let's run down the facts:
1) Batroc the Leaper is the lamest supervillain in Marvel's catalog. He's a French jumper with no superpowers besides his outlandish moustache and his "well-developed leg muscles."
2) Georges St-Pierre is a scary dude. Who speaks French.
3) Barring a radical reinvention, this might beat out Rocket Racoon as the weirdest comic book character to ever be put into a movie. Batroc is really that lame. He's called Batroc the fucking Leaper for cryin' out loud.
4) There will be at least one person in the comments, probably over the age of 35, who will think that Batroc isn't that lame.
So why are we believing El Mayimbe on this? Because no one in their right minds would make up a rumor involving Batroc.
If this isn't a sign the Apocalypse is coming, I don't know what is. So, look out, Cap! There's a Frenchman jumping at you with well-developed leg muscles. Ooo la la!