Monday, December 22, 2014 • Midnight Edition • "We put the lotion in the basket."

FRANK HELP! - 04/03/2013

Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, April 03 2013 and posted in Features

FRANK HELP! - 04/03/2013

FRANK BACK AFTER MISSING LAST WEEK DUE TO SCHEDULING CONFLICTS!


Source: FRANK USE BRAINS HE COLLECTED OVER THE YEARS!

FRANK SORRY AND FRANK PROMISE TO LET READERS KNOW NEXT TIME HE GO AWAY FOR WEEK! FRANK NO MEAN TO ABANDON YOU!

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From www.theouthousers.com, GLX asks: 'Have you ever taken body parts from a famous, dead person before?'

YES! FRANK DO THIS ALL THE TIME! FRANK RIP OFF BORIS KARLOFF FACE AFTER HE DIE! FRANK FIGURE HE FAMOUS FOR PRETENDING TO BE FRANK AND IT ONLY FAIR! FRANK ALSO ONCE TOOK BRAIN FORM CORPSE OF STAN LEE BACK IN EARLY 1990S! AS GIFT FOR BRIDE OF FRANK, FRANK ACQUIRED ELIZABETH TAYLOR’S PURPLE EYES! BRIDE OF FRANK WEAR THEM WHEN WE GO SOMEPLACE FANCY!
LAST WEEK FRANK WAS ABLE TO RAID UNDISCOVERED PYRAMID IN EGYPT AND NOW HAS FEET OF ANCIENT PHARAOH! FRANK NO USE, THEY COLLECTOR’S ITEM!

From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Or a famous live person?'

NO! FRANK NEVER DO THIS! (SDS, WHY YOU ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THIS WHEN POLICE CAN READ? YOU DUMB! SDS SHOULD PM FRANK LATER FOR MORE DETAILS….NOT THAT THERE ARE ANY!)

From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Do you prefer Nathan Drake or Lara Croft's ass?'

FRANK NO KNOW WHO THAT IS! NATHAN DRAKE SOUND LIKE BAD GUY NAME IN SPY MOVIE, AND LARA CROFT NAME OF FAT LADY WITH MUSTACHE AT LOCAL WALMART! FRANK PREFER DRANK, HIS NAME MAKE HIM SOUND COOLER!

From www.theouthousers.com, Lord Simian asks: 'Frank, what's the secret to really fantastic chili?'

CINNAMON AND A COMBINATION OF AT LEAST THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEAT!

From www.theouthousers.com, bkthomson asks: 'Frank how do feel that there is a specific day for zombie Jesus but no day for you to celebrate your awesomeness?'

IT OK, FRANK GUESS! FRANK NO THAT JESUS MUCH NICER PERSON THAN FRANK, BUT FRANK STILL BITTER HE NO CONSIDERED FOR MESSIAH ROLE! FRANK DIE AND COME BACK TO LIFE AND FRANK DECIDE TO STICK AROUND WHEREAS JESUS TOOK HIS BALL AND WENT TO LIVE WITH HIS DAD!

IT NO FAIR! WHY JESUS GET TO COME BACK BUT FRANK STUCK AS GOLLUM? JUST BECAUSE FRANK SMASH & KILL NO REASON TO NO LET FRANK BE MESSIAH! NOW FRANK ANGRY, WHERE EASTER BUNNY, FRANK WANT SMASH!

From twitter, @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein How do you feel about Solomon Grundy getting all the undead glory in the Injustice video game?'

FRANK NO CARE THAT STUPID GRUNDY GET ALL PRESS! NOT AT ALL! WHY, FRANK HAPPY TO NO HAVE NAME ON STUPID GAME FRANK NO GET MONEY FROM! ALSO, IT DC MULTI-MEDIA PROJECT, WE ALL KNOW IT SUCK AND NO SUCCEED! DARTH DIDIO CAN TAKE HIS STUPID VIDEO GAME AND SWALLOW IT FOR ALL FRANK CARE!

FRANK NO BITTER, WHY ASK?

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THAT IT FOR THIS WEEK! FRANK NO HAVE LOTS OF QUESTIONS TO ANSWER! THIS MAKE FRANK SAD! FRANK NO KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER HE CAN HELP WITH NO MORE QUESTIONS!

OUTHOUSE
TWITTER
YOU ASK NOW! FRANK ANSWER LATER!
 






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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.


Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
 

 


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