- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, April 10 2013 and posted in Features
YEA! IT NEW WEDNESDAY AND THAT MEAN NEW COMICS AND NEW FRANK HELP! DO HAPPY DANCE!
HERE FRANK GOES!
From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'FRANK how will you remember Margaret Thatcher? Annette Funicello?'
IT EASY FOR FRANK TO REMEMBER IRON LADY, FRANK ALREADY GRAB PART OF SCALP FROM BRITISH FUNERAL HOME! FRANK HAVE SCALP FRAMED AND PUT ON TOP OF FRANK SHELF OF (DEAD) FAMOUS PEOPLE HEADS!
FRANK NOT SURE HOW FRANK REMEMBER ANNETTE FUNICELLO! FRANK NO REALLY THINK ABOUT HER EVER WHEN ALIVE, SO FRANK NO THINK THAT BIG DEAL TO NOT REMEMBER HER NOW! BUT, IF SOMEONE WERE TO GET FRANK ONE OF ANNETTE’S FOOTS, THAT BE OK!
From www.theouthousers.com, Victorian Squid asks: 'Why are you helping Batman try and resurrect Damian, are you trying to prove Chappy right for change?! Also, what's Batman ever done for you, anyway? Where was he when your monthly got assassinated?'
THIS TOO MANY QUESTIONS, FRANK GET LOST!
<< Why are you helping Batman try and resurrect Damian, >> SPOILERS! FRANK NOT REALLY HELPING, FRANK TRICKING BATMAN INTO THINKING FRANK HELP SO FRANK CAN CRUSH BAT’S HEART LIKE FRANK’S WAS WHEN FRANK FIRED!
<< are you trying to prove Chappy right for change >> NO! CHAPPY BAD!
<< what's Batman ever done for you, anyway >> FRANK SPEND NEXT SENTENCE TELLING WORLD EVERYTHING BATMAN EVER DO FOR FRANK:
<< Where was he when your monthly got assassinated?'>> FRANK KNOW NO WHERE BATMAN WAS, FRANK KNOW WHERE BATMAN NOT! BATMAN NOT CONSOLING OLD FRIEND FRANK! BATMAN NO SENDING FRANK CARD OR BOTTLE OF SCOTCH, FRANK KNOW BATMAN CAN AFFORD GOOD STUFF! NO, BATMAN NO WHERE TO BE FOUND WHEN FRANK NEEDED HIM, BUT BATMAN THINK HE CAN JUST COME OVER AND MAKE FRANK RESURRECT ASSHOLE SON! FRANK SAY NO! BATMAN BAD! JUST CAUSE HE HAVE LOTS OF COOL TOYS NO MAKE HIM JAMES BOND!
From www.theouthousers.com, bkthomson asks: 'Frank, what is the difference between a burqa and a niqab?'
BURQA COVER ALL OF WOMAN AND NIQAB ONLY COVER FACE! NIQAB BETTER BECAUSE IT PROTECT AGAINST BUTTER FACE WHILE STILL BEING ABLE TO LOOK AT BUTTS!
From twitter, @Campo507 asks: '@DCFrankenstein what Frank Thinks about the entire Apple/Saga/BKV Thing yesterday'
FRANK UNDERSTAND THAT APPLE AND ANDROID HAVE TOS’s BUT FRANK THINK THEY PICK AND CHOOSE WHEN ENFORCE AND THAT NO FAIR! SAGA HAVE SEX AND VIOLENCE AND NAUGHTY LANGUAGE FOR ELEVEN ISSUES, WHAT DIFFERENT IN #12? FRANK TELL YOU WHAT DIFFERENT – TEH GAYS! FRANK TELL CAMPY THIS, FRANK BEEN UNDEAD LONG TIME AND FRANK SALVAGE MANY BODY PARTS FROM ALL KINDS OF HUMANS AND FRANK ONLY EVER NOTICE ONE DIFFERENCE: DUTCH BODIES BAD! THEY SMELL BAD, THEY NO STAY TOGETHER WELL, AND, EVEN IN DEATH, FRANK CAN FEEL POOR MORALS OF DUTCH PERSON! OTHER THAN THAT, NO ONE DIFFERENT, INCLUDING GAYS! APPLE AND DROID NOW BLAMING COMIXOLOGY, AND THAT MAKE SENSE, THEY IMMORAL AND OVERCHARGE FOR LEASES ANYWAYS, IT NO BIG STRETCH THAT THEY ALSO LAME DUMB DUMBS TOO PRUDISH TO LOOK AT PENIS!
From twitter, @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein Coke or Pepsi?'
COKE, IT GOES BETTER WITH LIQUOR! LIQUOR GOOD, SOBRIETY BAD!
From skype, xaraan asks: 'How does it feel to know Matt Kindt still loves you Frank?'
IT FEEL GOOD! MATT KINDT WRITE AND DRAW BOOKS THAT FRANK REALLY LIKE! FRANK NO REALLY UNDERSTAND ALL BIG WORDS AND CONCEPTS, BUT BOOKS PRETTY, SO FRANK NO CARE! MATT KINDT MAKE FRANK'S 2ND FAVORITE STORY IN NEW VERTIGO ANTHOLOGY, TIME WARP, CALLED WARNING DANGER! IT GOOD LOOK AT WAR AND MORALITY! AND PRETTY PICTURES GOOD TOO! IF MATT KINDT EVER WANT WRITE FRANK AGAIN, FRANK WORK CHEEP!
From google chat, BRIDE OF FRANK aks: 'why are people dickheads?'
HUMANS ALWAYS HAVE OVER INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE AND NO CARE ANYMORE ABOUT CONSEQUENCES OR HOW ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER HUMANS! IT WORSE NOW THAN BEFORE AND FRANK THINK ONLY OPTION IS PUNCHING DICKHEAD IN THROAT! UNLESS IT BRIDE OF FRANK’S BOSS, THEN NO DO IT, FRANK NEED BRIDE’S MONEY FOR COMIC BOOKS! BRIDE SHOULD ASK MUMMY TO CURSE BOSS AT NEXT DINER PARTY!
THAT IT FOR THIS WEEK! FRANK HAPPY WITH ALL QUESTIONS, EVEN SDS'S! FRANK WANT TELL EVERYONE THAT FRANK GIVE INTERVIEW TO WEBSITE AND FRANK TWEET LINK WHEN IT GO UP AROUND 4/28! IT EXCITING AND FRANK HAVE FUN!
HAVE GOOD DAY!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.
Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
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