Friday, December 19, 2014 • Afternoon Edition • "Resistance is futile."

Revolution- The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia

Written by Dr. Improbable on Monday, April 22 2013 and posted in Features

Revolution- The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia

*Indifferent Shrug*



 

So if The Resident gets to phone it in, I most certainly do as well. As I’ve explained I’m busy and impatient and stressed out about the end of the semester. Nonetheless, I’ve watched Revolution tonight because, as Res pointed out, I am filled with a special kind of self-loathing. So here’s what I think happened in between looking up from reddit and trying to listen over my tinnitus.

Miles, Nora, and Charlie go down to Georgia, the Devil not in tow. They’re chasing a nuclear bomb. They find it and they stop it from being detonated, but not before Miles’ past is brought up, like, a billion times. Yeah, we get it; he was a bad dude. Clearly he’s atoning. He did something terrible to the president of Georgia (she’s a lady president, how very forward-thinking, writers, let’s see how you fuck it up) and also to Rachel, which like, obviously. We still don’t get to find out what, though. Please, please let it be that he’s Charlie’s dad, which could work because I feel like there are a lot of rapey overtones here. I just want to be right about something in my life. Anyway, as I said, they stop Monroe from bombing the place and also hide the plutonium or whatever, but the prez wants the rebel’s help in retaliating against Monroe.

Rachel and Aaron, meanwhile, head off to… I guess somewhere else, wherever this Tower is, I’ve already forgotten. Is it near Baltimore? Sure, why not. Anyway she goes to hook up with a friend of hers who can help her, and who also has the ability to burn people with acid from a gun controlled by the nanoviralbots (which are called nanites but I like mine better.) Also it turns out that these nanoviralbots deactivate electricity at large, but somehow can be used for magic science to eat tumours and keep asthma patients alive. Sounds like one of the writers has read Diamond Age. God knows this makes about as much sense. Anyway, I guess Rachel ends up recruiting her help? Maybe? I sort of missed how that all played out.

That’s literally all I got out of this. The ratings for this show keep steadily declining, and I can’t help but think it’s because of the reason all of JJ Abram’s shows (even though I’m aware that he hasn’t very much to do with this project) are somewhat intolerable- they get too big too soon. (Disclaimer: I never watched Fringe, so don’t tell me how great it was.) No one seems to realise that Lost’s success, at least in its early seasons, was due to a slow build and steady character building. They’re trying to throw everything at us right away while still retaining that element, which amounts to trying to turn left and right at the same time.

More importantly, somehow for the past months I’ve missed that Eric Kripke has his name attached to this. For anyone who doesn’t pay attention to my rambling asides (I presume everybody) I am obsessed with Supernatural, which is his brainchild. I tried to figure out why I can follow the Winchesters so avidly while being so utterly bored with this show, and I think my conclusion is that I simply don’t care about any of these characters. I wanted to, at first, and I almost did, but now I can’t even pay attention when they’re sword fighting.

I guess what I’m saying is that this show needs fewer nanoviralbots and more Castiel. Look forward to next fall, when the Res and I quit our shitty shows and act like twelve-year-old fangirls at the return of Supernatural Season Nine.





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About the Author - DrImprobable


Before you ask, no, Dr. Improbable is not that kind of doctor, and will not be diagnosing your genital warts today. Seriously, put it away. The doc does more of the "mad science" brand of doctoring, though one day hopes to be that "time and space traveling" kind of doctor. In the meantime, Doc passes time cloning things, memorizing acronyms, and using large magnets. When not plotting all the terrible ways to destroy the human race (particularly those found on public transportation), the doc kills time by watching television and making sarcastic commentary on it.

 


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