Saturday, December 20, 2014 • Afternoon Edition • "That smell was here before we went in."

FRANK HELP! - 04/24/2013

Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, April 24 2013 and posted in Features

FRANK HELP! - 04/24/2013

FRANK BACK, DO A DANCE!
FRANK BACK, DO A DANCE!
FRANK BACK, DO A DANCE!
FRANK BACK, DO A DANCE!
FRANK BACK, DO A DANCE!
FRANK BACK, DO A SEXXY DANCE!



Source: QUESTIONS FROM AWESOME FRIENDS OF FRANK!
 

FRANK BACK, YOU HAVE PARTY NOW!

FRANK GET GOOD QUESTION FROM NEW READER THIS WEEK! IT GOOD, YOU READ!

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From facebook, Brian Osserman asks: 'How does Frank get rid if migraines? What does Frank do for bad back? - ProzacMan'

MIGRAINES BAD! FRANK NO GET THEM OFTEN, BUT WHEN DO, FRANK NOT HAPPY!

FIRST THING FRANK TRY IS TAKE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF EXCEDRIN (THERE NO DOSAGE ON BACK FOR GOLEMS, SO FRANK GUESS) AND TRY TO TAKE NAP IN DARK PLACE. IF THAT NO WORK, FRANK FIND SMOKE SOME….WELL, NEVER MIND. IF THAT NO WORK, FRANK GET MAD AND TAKE OFF TOP OF HEAD AND TRY DRAIN OUT ENLARGED BLOOD VESSELS! PROZIAN MIGHT WONDER HOW FRANK HAVE WORKING BLOOD VESSELS; THAT NOT PROZIAN’S BUSINESS!
BAD BACK EASY, FRANK JUST GO GET NEW ONE, DUH!

From twitter, @dbergene asks: '@DCFrankenstein If your head were a tv, what show would it be playing?'

THIS GOOD QUESTION! FRANK THINK HARD! IF TV IS FRANK’S HEAD FRANK NO GET TO SEE SHOW, IT DISPLAY SHOW THAT FRANK WANT PROJECT TO OTHERS…FRANK NO SURE ABOUT THAT. WALKING DEAD TOO “ON NOSE” AND FRANK WANT BE ABLE TO WATCH REAL HOUSEWIVES. OH! FRANK KNOW! FRANK TVHEAD SHOW DOWNTON ABBEY, THAT WAY FRANK NO HAVE TO WATCH OVERRATED SHOW AND FRANK LOOK SMART! WIN WIN!

NOW, IF FRANK ONLY GET TO WATCH ONE SHOW FRANK CHOSE PHINEAS AND FERB! PERRY THE PLATYPUS IS FRANK HERO AND DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ ONE OF FEW PEOPLE FRANK KNOW DUMBER THAN FRANK! FRANK NAME NEW PETS “DOGINATOR / CATINATOR / PUMAINATOR / LEMURINATOR!” IT FUNNY SHOW! CANDICE BAD! PHINEAS AND FERB GOOD!

“WHACHA DOIN?”

From www.theouthousers.com, Keb asks: 'Frank, do you think the Lakers will make it past the first round of the NBA playoffs?'

KEB FUNNY! LAKERS LUCKY TO MAKE PLAYOFFS, THEY NO GOOD AT BASKETBALL JOB! BUT, EVEN THOUGH LAKERS BAD, THEY LIKE YANKEES AND NO EVER CAN COUNT THEM OUT, SO FRANK ~86.23% SURE THEY NO GO TO SECOND ROUND, BUT STILL CHANCE, IF SPURS’ FIRST AND SECOND TEAM ALL DECIDE THEY WANT GO HOME AND WATCH PHINEAS AND FERB! IT GOOD SHOW!

From twitter, @PinkPeril asks: '@DCFrankenstein Should Jack Kirby be digitally added to all Marvel movies with matching screen time to Stan Lee's?'

NO! FRANK NO WANT GET IN DEBATE OVER CREATORS’ RIGHTS AND ANY KIRBY VS LEE LAWSUITS, BUT CAMEOS, AND FRANK NO WANT SOUND CALLOUS, ARE PRIVILEGE OF LIVING (AND UNLIVING.) IT BE CREEPY TO CGI IN DEAD PERSON. IT CREEPY NOW TO HAVE CGI CHARACTERS (WHY LUCAS NEED CGI WOOKIES, WE KNOW HE HAVE COSTUMES ALREADY MADE!) ADD GHOSTS TO MIX, IT NO GOOD! KIRBY GENIUS AND DESERVE RESPECT, BUT TURNING HIM INTO CARTOON NO WAY TO GET IT!

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THAT IT FOR THIS ROUND, FRANK ALWAYS NEED MORE QUESTIONS, YOU ASK NOW!
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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.


Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
 

 


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