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p(RU)views featuring WIFE: X-Men #1

p(RU)views featuring WIFE: X-Men #1

RU joins WIFE as she hunkers down and tries to piece together Marvel’s “First Look – X-MEN #1!”



Source: Marvel Press Release

Welcome the second part of a new feature from The Outhouse, marriage councilor PhDs, where ace reporter, RU, teams up with his wife, WIFE, to fill in the blanks left in Marvels "First Look!" previews.

This installment: X-Men #1

Cover to X-Men #1:

WIFE: It’s chick-tastic

RU: It’s an all girl X-Men Book

WIFE: Why does that one have a sword penis?

RU: It’s her mutant power.

WIFE: Kinda like your ability to find nipples.

RU: Yea

WIFE: No, really, what’s with the Mohawk?

RU: Mohawks are cool.

WIFE: It’s no bow tie.

Page 1:

WIFE: Is she falling out of the ceiling or sinking into the floor?

RU: That is...an excelent question. I think, maybe, she’s coming in from the roof of the train in the first panel and she landed on the floor below.

WIFE: Is that what happened in Apocalypse Now?

RU: Yes.

WIFE: That baby must have been crying, she’s giving the mom the stink-eye.

Page 2:

WIFE: This is the weirdest Heathers remake I’ve ever seen.

RU: How many remakes are there?

WIFE: That’s not the point.

Page 3:

WIFE: Holy boobs, Batman!

WIFE: Fly my pretties, fly!

RU: OH! These are out of order!

WIFE: Or some stupid flashback montage – oooh, 80s Mohawk, Heathers remake, flashbacks, I think I hear “Playing With The Boys” on my Walkman!

Page 4:

WIFE: This page is stupid, why is the baby eating her face?

RU: Did Jubilee steal that baby?

WIFE: What’s a “Jubilee”

RU: Besides what we call the party after a Bar Mitzvah?

WIFE: “Jubilee?”

RU: JEWbilee!

WIFE: Ugh

RU: She shoots fireworks out of her fingers and might be a vampire.

WIFE: The baby is eating her face cause it’s a vampire too?

RU: Maybe, I don’t know if she is still a vampire.

WIFE: They gave a baby to someone who might be a vampire!?

RU: We leave RuRu with your mother.

WIFE: …

RU: I’ll sleep on the couch until May 29:


X-MEN #1 (FEB130492)
Written by BRIAN WOOD
Art & Cover by OLIVIER COIPEL
FOC – 05/06/12 On-Sale – 05/29/13

*****

p(RU)views featuring WIFE:Nova #4





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About the Author - GHERU


RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).

 


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