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FRANK HELP! - 05/08/2013

Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Wednesday, May 08 2013 and posted in Features

FRANK HELP! - 05/08/2013

YOU ASK, FRANK ANSWER, THAT HOW THIS WORK!



Source: NONE - FRANK HAVE NEW, SMART, BRAIN!
 

FRANK HERE! IT BORRING WEEK, BUT LUCKILY FRANK ATE OLD YOGURT, SO FRANK UP AND MOVING ALOT TODAY FROM DESK TO POTTY!

WHILE FRANK HAVE BREAK, FRANK HELP!

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From twitter, @LordSimian asks: '@DCFrankenstein Where can we get a "I'm With Frank" banner to support you after this foul snub? I blame @judeterror, personally.'

FRANK EXPLAIN: ON MONDAY, OUTHOUSE, SITE FRANK WRITE FOR, NOMINATE BUNCH OF PEOPLE FOR AWARDS, BUT NO FRANK! UNFUNNY JACK-NUT, THANOS_COPTER GET NOMINATED FOR “BEST COMICS BLOGGER” WHEN ALL HE DOES IS E MEAN TO DC…WELL, THAT GOOD, BUT STILL, WHY FRANK NO NOMINATED? THANOS_COPTER ALSO NOMINATED AS “BEST LOOKING,” THAT BULL CRAP! FRANK PRETTIEST THERE IS!

SO, WHAT MR. MONKEY MAN ASKING IS “HOW SUPPORT FRANK?” FRANK TELL YOU! WRITE IN FRANK NAME! GO TO OUTHOUSE AND USE FACEBOOK / OUTHOUSE ACCOUNT / WHATEVER AND SPAM BOARD WITH SUPPORT FOR FRANK!

FRANK GOOD! THANOS_COPTER BAD!

From www.theouthousers.com, e_galston asks: 'How do you know exactly when its the right time to cheer me up on twitter?'

FRANK AWESOME LIKE THAT!

From www.theouthousers.com, sdsichero asks: 'Google or Bing?'

FRANK NO KNOW WHAT THIS IS! GOOGLE SOUND LIKE FOOD BRIDE OF FRANK ORDER AT INDIAN RESTRAINT (DOT NOT FEATHER) AND BING SOUND LIKE FRANK GET RIGHT ANSWER ON JEOPARDY! FRANK NO CAN CHOOSE, MAYBE IF SDS TELL FRANK WHAT THIS IS! SOMEONE SHOULD INVENT SOMETHING WHERE FRANK CAN TYPE IN QUESTIONS AND IT FINDS ANSWERS!

FRANK GENIUS!

From facebook, The Outhouse asks: 'Dear Frank: I've never really been completely sure on the convoluted backstory of Hawkman. Can you help me understand?'

HAWKMAN DISGRACED SOLDIER FROM HAKWORLD WHO EXILED FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND STALKING! HE KEEP FINDING HAWKLADIES AND TELLING THEM THEY REINCARNATED VERSIONS OF PAST LOVES! HE CREEPY! WHY NEED REINCARNATION, JUST TAKE PARTS AND BUILD OWN WOMAN, NO NEED TO BE WEIRD!

HAWKMAN COME TO EARTH AND BECOME TEA-BAGGER HERO! THEN, STUPID HAWKLADY COME TO EARTH AND HE CONVINCE HER THAT SHE ACTUALLY EGYPTIAN AND THEN SHE LOVE HIM. THEN THEY DIE! FRANK THINK! INFINITE CRISIS MAKE NO SENSE! NOW HE BACK IN NEW52 AND HE’S PROBABLY ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING, HE ALWAYS IS, FRANK MENTION HE TEA BAGGER? ALSO, HE NO GO THROUGH IMMIGRATION AND TAKE HERO JOBS AWAY FROM REAL EARTHPEOPLE, JUST LIKE BIG CRY BABY, SUPERMAN!

HAWKMAN JERK, YOU NO NEED KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM!

From www.theouthousers.com, Cat-Scratch asks: 'What's better? Pecan tarts or butter tarts? How about that tart but with chocolate chips instead of raisins or pecans?'

WHY KITTY-CAT PUTTING BUTTER OR PECANS ON HOOKERS?

OH, YOU MEAN NOT-COOKIE THINGS! IF OPTION IS BUTTER OR NOT BUTTER FRANK ALWAYS CHOOSE BUTTER! IT GOOD NO HAVE WORKING BLOOD VESSELS TO GET CLOGGED! FRANK NO LIKE RAISINS IN TREATS, THEY TRICK FRANK INTO THINKING THEY CHOCOLATE! IF FRANK EVER IN CHARGE, THAT BAD IDEA, FRANK OUTLAW RAISINS IN COOKIES AND TARTS! EITHER KIND OF TARTS!

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THAT IT FOR THIS WEEK! FRANK DO GOOD?  YOU ASK MORE QUESTIONS?

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About the Author - Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E.


Frankenstein is the swordwielding monsterfighting monster formerly employed by S.H.A.D.E., a global agency dedicated to fighting weird stuff. Unfortunately, Dan Didio laid off Frankenstein due to low sales, and Frank quickly lost the bulk of his intelligence trying to piece together DC continuity while updating his resume. Luckily, the Outhouse's staff is largely made up of dumb beasts, and Frank is now working as an contributing reporter while he is between jobs.
 

 


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