Saturday, March 17, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

Revolution- The Longest Day

Written by Dr. Improbable on Monday, May 13 2013 and posted in Features

Revolution- The Longest Day

Or it might be "The Longest Night." I forget.


So I guess I still watch this show, too. Hopefully missing last week’s episode won’t confuse me. I mean, it probably won’t because that would imply a certain level of “care” that I lack re: this show. Well, fine, let’s begin.

Nora regrets hooking up with Miles because it will hurt too much when they part/die. Jason regrets being born to his father because he’s a dick. Charlie regrets that her mom is a cold-hearted bitch that taught her being alone is better than trusting people. Aaron regrets (?) making some science that led to the blackout. The rebel Georgians regret being attacked by poorly CGI’d stealth bombers that totally aren’t an allusion to the current drone debates.

Seven years ago:  Rachel comes to Miles to offer her assistance in rekindling the fire… erm, turning the lights back on. He says they’ll still go get Ben and wheedle the information out of him.

Present: Nora’s okay but they can’t find Charlie. Aaron builds a computer because he is technology! He’s going to activate the nanoviralbots to fix Rachel! Everyone saw Charlie and Jason heading north, so Nora, Miles, and Gus…ugh, no, Neville… go to save them, because the parents must save the children!

Monroe and Mark Pellegrino (I should figure out his character’s name but fuck that) shoot at Miles and Nora and Neville. Aaron attempts to activate the nanites, sending Rachel into cries of agony… until he sees that it’s because they’re fixing her. A band of people promptly captures them. Meanwhile, the others find Jason, who informs them that Charlie is beneath a collapsed watchtower.

Seven years ago: Rachel tells Miles he’s a piece of shit and she’ll do whatever to keep her family away from him. In case it wasn’t 100% obvious that they’ve hooked up, she flat-out states it. Wait, there might have been an episode about this. Whatever. He bluffs a punch at her face, because old Miles is a jerk.

In the present, the crazy assholes who found Aaron and Rachel think they’re healers, obviously. Miles and Mark have a chat about how the rebels knew where to find Monroe. In his paranoia, he accuses Mark of betrayal. He, in turn, points out that paranoia isn’t a strong glue for friendship. (Oh! I guess his name is Jeremy!) Regardless, he is executed, and now I don’t even have Mark Pellegrino anymore, so what’s the point?

Neville tries to tell his son he still loves him or something very touching. Rachel presses Aaron to go to the tower. Aaron wants to not be an asshole, but that’s ruining her shit. Nora and Miles do a pretty rad job holding off the attack while Neville sneaks away with his son. They’re ambushed, but he goes all River Tam on them and shoots the attackers with a handgun. Miles wants to go after Charlie, but Nora tells him he’s being stupid. He says he has to, for Rachel or something.  Maybe like don’t bring her up in front of Nora, brah.

Charlie is sometimes kickass, though, and has made it out of the collapsed tower just fine.

Seven years ago: Miles is settling in to torture Rachel. He tells her he doesn’t care about her anymore, so torture’s gonna be fun!

Now, on the other hand, he kills some people before they can kill Charlie. Big hug! Unfortunately Nora is missing. Elsewhere, Monroe’s new number two reports that a Georgian confessed to being the spy. Which means he had Marky Mark killed for nothing. Here’s hoping that the gunshot was a ruse and he’s still alive! Not-really-being-dead is totally his thing, so let me dream.

Charlie sits at the bedside of a healing and gratuitously shirtless Jason (so small fries compared to Game of Thrones, NBC.) They make out, because sure, why not? They’re the only under 35s in this show. Miles demands the president finds Nora, but she’s busy berating him for ruining their lovely southern confederacy. Nora, we find, has been captured by Monroe. Probably not great.

Next week: there’s a traitor amongst the rebels! This isn’t the least bit surprising because Miles totally said that fifteen minutes ago! Until then, I’m going to contemplate how Eric Kripke made this show, and also keep my fingers crossed that maybe after two rocky seasons it’ll get really good, except there are too many Lost-esque elements (required in all JJ Abrams-approved shows) for that to really pan out. 


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - DrImprobable

Before you ask, no, Dr. Improbable is not that kind of doctor, and will not be diagnosing your genital warts today. Seriously, put it away. The doc does more of the "mad science" brand of doctoring, though one day hopes to be that "time and space traveling" kind of doctor. In the meantime, Doc passes time cloning things, memorizing acronyms, and using large magnets. When not plotting all the terrible ways to destroy the human race (particularly those found on public transportation), the doc kills time by watching television and making sarcastic commentary on it.


More articles from DrImprobable
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!