Well, we all knew it was going to happen, and it did. Age of Ultron was spoiled before its release, all over the internets, and even on our own forums (SPOILERS AT LINK). And while Marvel Comics was fully prepared to have the status quo of the Marvel Universe irrevocably altered by the mind-blowing finale that was so shocking and secret only Marvel head honcho Joe Quesada could draw it, they were planning for all of that to happen on Wednesday, June 22nd, not Tuesday, June 21st. This little detail changed everything.
"Aaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" shouted one Marvel intern when we asked him for comment. "Aaaaagggghhhhhhhhhh!!!"
"Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" he added, on fire.
"How could this happen?!" cried a beleaguered Joe Quesada. "We took measures to prevent this. Polybags, goddamn it! Polybags!"
But despite the elaborate security tactic of putting the comics inside sealed plastic bags, Marvel's plans were thrown into complete disarray when some douchebag opened one of the bags and found out what happens in the book before the comic was officially released. And then, in what is known in the industry as "a dick move," this person told other people what happened in the book on the internet. It's crazy, but it's true.
And now, nothing will ever be the same. We spoke to renowned Professor of Comic Books and HVAC Repair at Devry University, Dr. Philip P. Blunderbuss, who told us, "it is so a real university! We're accredited and everything!"
But what about the spoilers?
"Nuttin' will ever be da same!" shouted Blunderbuss, slipping into a thick New Jersey accent when agitated.
Nothing will ever be the same.
"Ah, fuck it," decided Quesada, resigned. We were gonna spoil it in an article in USA Today on Tuesday anyway.
Age of Ultron #10 hits stores tomorrow.