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The Incredible Melting Holographic Comic

Written by Zechs on Friday, September 06 2013 and posted in Features
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The Incredible Melting Holographic Comic

Zechs conducts a series of tests on the theory that DC's lenticular 3D covers can melt and develop a taste of human flesh.



 

With the coming of DC's Villain's Month, a new stitch to the event's ongoing problems has arisen. Bleeding Cool has reported that there has been case of one of the comics melting when left in a car. In the BC forum thread accompanying the article, one poster claimed to have a similar problem, with an issue becoming hideously deformed. Enticed by an image of a comic becoming a big gooey mess, and a DC Comic to boot, well, someone on the Outhouse staff had to look into this...

 

Given that I'm the least rational person on the Outhouse Staff, I did what any intrepid nutcase would do: I bought a holographic comic of DC's and put this to the test. My test subject was Action Comics #23.3: Cyborg Superman. Why that issue particularly? It did a HUGE disservice to a character who I consider to be one of the greatest Superman villains. You don't change the identity of the villain. The Cyborg Superman isn't a legacy character. He's the Cyborg Superman. That's the cruel joke for the character. HE CAN'T DIE.

 

*ahem*

 

Sorry, I'm getting off tangent. Anyway, that's the comic I decided to horribly abuse in hopes that it MIGHT turn out like this:

 

 

 

 

So, with that clearly wonky and improbable probability out of the way, I began my first test. It consisted of placing the comic on a table and leaving it outside for a four hours in an area of my yard that is under constant sunlight, just to see if it was that cheaply made:

 

 

To my surprise, the comic withstood the first barrage showing how durable it was. Not a single problem at all with it (save the story, nothing can fix that) as you can see in this picture [editor's note: trim your hedges, Zechs]:

 

 

No damage. So I upped the ante. For the second test, the famous story of the comic melting in a car inspired me to put it in my car's backseat. Here's the results of putting a DC 3D (or 3Dnado) comic in a car that has not been parked in a shaded, cool garage, but out in the sun all day:

 

 

OUCH, if you think that's bad. Here's the comic after another hour:

 

 

Then another hour:

 

 

 

And the final hour.

 

 

Lots of cracks on the cover, the first few pages starting to give twist, and even the back starting to succumb to the same twisting. Thankfully, no melting and ink stains on the backseat of my car for my idiotic feat. R.I.P. Action Comics #23.3: Cyborg Superman! Perhaps you can find the sweet oblivion that the true character who's identity you ripped-off actually craved.

 

Conclusion: if you leave your DC 3D comic [or whatever you want to call it] in the car, the sun will twist and bend the living hell out of it. Sadly, it will not slowly melt into a puddle while possessing an appetite for human flesh. Instead it will twist, turn, and be hideously deformed. So DON'T leave it in your car for an hour on a hot day! Maybe in your car's trunk, or just don't buy a fancy holographic cover at all. Either way is fine. In the meantime, I end this article with a video that best sums up this entire affair:

 





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