Sunday, November 18, 2018 • Evening Edition • "Comics: we give a crap!"

The Top Ten Reasons Why Ben Affleck Will Rock as Batman

Written by Doc Jon on Monday, September 16 2013 and posted in Features

The Top Ten Reasons Why Ben Affleck Will Rock as Batman

Doc Jon changes up his 'fifty reasons why it sucks' format to tell us why Ben Affleck will rock as Batman!

So fandom is ablaze with the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman. I guess there are probably other candidates who could fit the cape and cowl better, but I highly doubt this is Jessica Alba/Invisible Woman-bad. So let's look at ten reasons why Batfleck might rock, or rather not suck.

10. Because Batman is hardly the most nuanced character. In essence, the most 'acting' that will be required here will be for Affleck to play a vapid, billionaire playboy. That sounds like top notch casting to me.

9. Because Affleck can fill out the suit. Affleck's a pretty big guy, and would probably look imposing in the Batsuit, certainly moreso than Michael Keaton.

8. Because Zack Snyder is directing. This is like saying, "I really liked Street Fighter IV, but I thought that Ryu's characterization lacked depth." Snyder directs what are essentially videogame cutscenes, and you hardly need Olivier for something like that.

7. Because Affleck has a passion for the genre. Affleck seems to really like the superhero genre, and while this may not guarantee success, it's always nice to have someone in the film that has more than just a passing familiarity with the character.

6. Because Christian Bale sucked as Batman. Yeah, that's right. I'll give him props for Bruce in Batman Begins, but that's about where it ends. And THE VOICE, what the fuck was up with that? Ben Affleck could do his version of the gravelly voice in a Boston accent and it would probably be better than Bale's.

5. Because all the other Batmen sucked too. They really did. Keaton is good, but he was never really Batman or Bruce Wayne. Val Kilmer had moments, but certainly nothing memorable. Clooney could have been the best of them all, but any time I try to think of Batman and Robin my nose begins to bleed and a soft mushy substance that I can only assume is my brain begins to come out.

4. Because once you've made Gigli, there's really nowhere to go but up.

3. Because this may lead to a Kevin Smith cameo as the Penguin.

2. Because he was the bomb in Phantoms.

1. Because who else is there? I can't believe that the same fans who were a'twitter about JGL being Batman could possibly decry Affleck. Caviezel would have been good, but who's really out there that will draw people into the theater? Affleck will bring the crowds, and he'll do fine in the role. Or he won't and we'll do 50 reasons why the movie sucked. Hell, we'll probably do that anyway...


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!