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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic - "Castle-Mania"

Written by The Resident and Dr. Improbable on Sunday, December 01 2013 and posted in Features

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic -

And she would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling ponies!

Source: My Little Pony

Doc and Res apologize for the tardiness of this review. There was this little event called the The Game which we, as alumnae, were required to watch. This review could not have happened if Michigan had actually gotten that two-point conversion, because we would have collapsed as a million voices cried out in agony and would have been suddenly silenced. (When Res says “we” it’s more of a royal We. I had plans at the theatre in the evening. -Doc) On to the review!


Twilight needs to research the chest they found in the forest at the end of the premier, and so she contacts ODL about using Canterlot's library for her research. For all you young whippersnappers, the library is where people went to do research before the internet existed. It was this mythical place that housed books. Celestia suggests that (instead of going to the relatively safe capital) Twilight venture to the spooky abandoned palace in the very forest where she recently almost died, in hopes of finding one book in a large dilapidated library. Because RESPONSIBILITY. We know this is a show for seven-year-olds, so the following theory is unlikely, but we’d like to think ODL avoiding Twi because she’s planning some massive sinister subjugation of all Equestria and has to keep Twi&Co. out of the way.



Naturally, Twilight's friends find their way to the Castle of the Two Sisters through their own individual quests. Rarity and Fluttershy go there to find old tapestries to restore, because Rarity has priorities. Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash decide to spend the night in the supposedly haunted castle as the final contest in their “Most Daring Pony” competition. Hilarity ensues as the girls engage in Scooby-Doo-like antics: revolving doors, mistaken ghosts, chutes that lead to hidden rooms, even a Phantom of the Opera organ. And trick bookcases! Yes! Behind one such bookcase in the library, Twilight finds the book Celestia clearly meant her to find, but gave her no instruction on how to go about doing so. If my boss did that to me, I would be most displeased.


While Twilight peruses her books, her friends are subjected to all sorts of terrifying tropes. The alliteration makes it true. Apple Jack is shuttled around the palace as a mysterious hooded pony plays the organ. Fluttershy tries desperately to find her missing, emotionally abusive bunny Angel, who is happily hanging out with TwiSparks and Spike whilst gorging himself on carrots. Rainbow Dash tries to pretend as though she isn't completely freaked out by the spooky palace and fails. And Rarity remains oblivious because there are pretty things that require her attention (or possibly because she is the ballingest of all the ponies).



Eventually everypony but Twilight works themselves into a terrified mess, which is hilarious in its own right. Twilight, with nary a bead of sweat, sets everypony’s mind at ease for the moment; but there's still the question of what mysterious hooded pony is playing the organ in the basement. The girls make their way cautiously, only to find... it was Pinkie! Res is 99% sure that Pinkie is the Equestrian version of Tom Bombadil. Her nonsensical explanation makes perfect sense if you're Pinkie, and the night ends with the girls deciding to keep a diary together. (I tried that once with some friends in high school. Still have no idea what happened to it. –Doc) But there, in the darkness of the library, LURKS THE PONY OF SHADOWS! DUN DUN DUNNNN.


Next week: More hilarity from Rarity. Hopefully. (The rhyme makes it true.)


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About the Author - The Resident

The Resident seems pretty ok: we have no idea having never met him (her?).  Um, S/He likes TV and walks in the sand.  The Outhouse is pretty sure that Her/His twitter handle is @sundrops33.  Why do we keep around a staff member we cannot identify? Those lovely unique hits her/his  reviews of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic brings us.  The Resident has done more to generate ad revenue than all other writers combined, totaling over $12 in the year s/he’s been writing for us.  Keep up the good work!


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