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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- Bats!

Written by Dr. Improbable and The Resident on Saturday, December 28 2013 and posted in Features

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- Bats!

Stare into the abyss and the Abyss will stare back into you

Source: MLP: FiM

You kids ready for a lesson in economic, ecological, and social policy? Because that’s what we’re learning about today on MLP:FiM! Huzzah!

It’s apple-bucking season! Such excitement and joy for all! However, much to Apple Jack’s dismay, all her apples have been sucked dry of their delicious, cider-bearing juice. She tries to explain the problem to the rest of the Mane Six, though she’s more than a little distraught. Rarity tells her to calm down, which obviously goes well.

The juice-sucking culprits are vampire fruit bats. Not your run of the mill vampire bats. Because that makes sense, if you think of how vampires have been pussified by modern pop culture (lookin’ at you, Stephanie Meyer). AJ worries that these economically harmful bats will suck the juice out of the definitely-genetically-modified-levels-of-huge apple she’s grown for the Appaloosia state fair. (Rarity knows she likes them apples big.)

While AJ wants to drive the bats off, Fluttershy argues that the bats have just as much right to the resources of AJ's farm. People near the Mexican border, hope your ears are pricking. The proposed nonviolent solution is to have Fluttershy use her Eliza Thornberry-like powers of animal communication to politely ask the bats to leave the orchard. This does not go as planned: they shoot her out of their business with apple seeds.

Fluttershy is still pro-bats (she loves all animals equally), but AJ launches into a song that is probably a metaphor for immigrants and racism. She fear-mongers the rest of the girls into agreeing with her about eliminating the bats. That bleeding heart liberal Fluttershy still argues in their favour, pointing out that they play an important role because they poop out and fertilise the seeds (probably) and ecological balance is good, but no one listens to her.

After some research (of course), Twi comes up with a solution: put a spell on the bats to eliminate their desire for apple juice. The only way the spell will work is if the bats give their full attention to Twilight; the only way to get their full attention is for Fluttershy to use her time-stopping Stare. She reluctantly agrees to use her powers for evil after some peer pressure. They round the bats up using some good apples that are left (concentration camp much?), Fluttershy uses her Stare, Twi uses the spell, and the bats are cured of their desire for apple juice! All is well... right?

Except it isn’t. (Because when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you.) AJ bucks a tree only to find the apples are still dried out. However, they know the bats aren’t responsible, as they’re still uninterested in juice, so who is draining the juice? The girls do some more Scooby-Dooesque investigating to figure out the new culprit. They investigate the orchard well into the night, which looks like a terrifying haunted wasteland now that most of the apples have been consumed, and find various ways to scare themselves.

As the night drags on, Fluttershy finds herself more and more drawn to the delicious apple juice that is quite within her reach. She struggles with this compulsion, but ultimately loses. Pinkie Pie notices that Fluttershy is acting suspicious, and finally shines a (literal) light on her strange behavior. Using complicated diagrams, Twi explains that her spell backfired as, rather than draining the vampire fruit bats of their desire for juice, she simply transferred the desire to Fluttershy.

Vampire Fluttershy is somewhat terrifying, by the way. She chases her friends around, as the desire for juice has completely consumed her. Twi works out how to undo the spell, but they must once again get her full concentration, and without her Stare they can’t get the spell to work. They come up with a brilliant plan, though –AJ sacrifices her prize-winning apple to lure Fluttershy to them, and they move it to reveal a mirror. When she tries to turn away, Pinkie has another mirror waiting. Fluttershy falls victim to her own superpower, entranced by her reflection.

Anyway, Twi undoes the spell. They send the fruit bats (whose desire for apples was reinstated with the spell) to a special sanctuary within the orchard, because MLP’s solution to immigrant problems is to round them up in a special home. Everyone hugs and is happy again, except Fluttershy still has some mean incisors.

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