Oh my goodness, how much have you guys missed Supernatural during the holiday hiatus? If the answer isn’t “SO MUCH” you can get the hell out, because we’re going on a dark, sad journey tonight, courtesy of the Winchesters.
To recap: Gadreel, under the false alias Ezekiel (“Zeke” if you’re like Dean and can’t handle polysyllabic names) was squatting inside Sam, ostensibly to heal his post-season-eight wounds. That's what he told Dean, anyway. Really he was waiting to shine as Metatron’s Second in Command of Crazy. Once this tidbit came to light, Gadreel murdered Kevin Tran (he was in Advanced Placement). And for that he shall never be forgiven. Ever. Gadreel ran off with Sam’s body and the Impala, leaving Dean with Kevin’s body and the feels. Cue the uncontrollable sobbing. #AdvancedPlacementInOurHearts
Dean is almost as torn up as the viewers. He explains to the recharged Cas (oh yeah, Cas lost his grace but then ate a traitorous angel to get it back) the whole Sam/Gadreel/Kevin problem. Cas advises him to talk to Crowley because… does it matter? It doesn’t matter. (Nothing matters without Kevin…) Anyway, our favourite head demon has been cooped up for a long while, but he still knows where to get the info on what Gadreel and Metatron might be planning. And to get to that source, they have to road trip! Unfortunately, their wheels are not in any way discreet and they are spotted by one of Abbadon's minions on their way out of town.
In the wake of the recent NSA scandals (so topical!), there can be no more appropriate place to obtain such information than a shadowy tech company that is actually an NSA front. The delightful Cecily (who voices the opinion of heterosexual females and homosexual males everywhere by pointing out how sexy 'feathered' Cas is) privately gives Crowley the scoop- on Gadreel's whereabouts as well as Abbadon. The former is in Pennsylvania, the latter is trying to take over hell. Cecily also shares that most demons aren’t picking sides; they’re just waiting to see who comes out on top. Very Azrael, writers. (Dogma, anyone?)
After our motley crew of demon, angel, and human (that is in no way symbolic I’m sure) leaves, Abbadon shows up to question Cecily, who conveys the same message- all the other demons are simply waiting out the face-off and hedging their bets. Abbadon is less understanding of a power play than Crowley. Being the fierce Knight of Hell she is, she kills Cecily. Aww, I sort of liked Cecily. (Which obviously means she had to die.)
Gadreel has meanwhile been wandering around in Sam’s body, murdering people because Metatron tells him to. This eventually rubs him the wrong way when he is sent to off his one remaining friend Abner, who has taken over the vessel of an abusive asshole and become a loving father and husband. Gadreel and Abner have a little chat about the virtues of taking over vessels. Abner humbles himself to Gadreel, which I guess is a big mistake because he gets the axe.
Dean shows up as Gadreel washes Sam’s hands. Gadreel is effective at dodging humans, but not so much at angels. Cas knocks him out, which allows the boys to bring him back to their torture garage, which is not to be confused with their torture basement (#WinchesterProblems). Crowley attempts to torture the Gadreel out of Sam. Jensen Ackles shows off his “choking back manly tears” acting chops (as he does at least once every other episode) as he tries to figure out how Cas is doing, y’know, emotionally. Cas isn’t as good at being the sulky, needy little brother as Sam is. He's even worse at distracting Dean from his co-dependency issues, since he has a few of those floating around now too.
Eventually Crowley gets through to Gadreel’s programming, and this apparently helps them figure out they need to kick him out of Sam’s dream world. Dean allows Crowley off his leash to jump into Sam and kick Gadreel out of his head. Indeed, Sam is oblivious in the dream world Gadreel set up for him, but Crowley helps him remember all the things Gadreel has done in his body- including killing Kevin. And there they are. There are those feels we were missing for about thirty seconds. Thanks to Crowley's faith and uplifting speech, Sam kicks out Gadreel... who flees right to his true vessel, the bartender at the bar where Metatron was hanging out giving orders. Obviously he expected this to happen.
Unfortunately, Abbadon is on the Winchesters' trail and about to get into the torture garage. Crowley sends the boys off (because he’s a big softie when it comes to our boys) and then sits in the torture chair so he can dramatically turn it when Abbadon shows up. Man, I love Crowley. He has panache. When her minions don’t promptly attack him, he explains that his system is better because bureaucracy is more hellacious than war. He probably has a point.
We end with a classic Supernatural heart-wrenching scene, in which Sam tells us he was prepared to die for the trials (see: season eight) and Dean says he never would have let him do that. If you’ve ever watched more than three episodes of this show at any point in its run, you’ve heard the argument.
Dean claims he’s going to go off alone to find Gadreel and murder him until he dies of dying. Sam pretends to acquiesce, but we all know how well that’s going to go. Cas looks on sadly, something he's gotten rather good at.
Next week: Dean and Crowley go on a demon-hunting road trip and I am SO EXCITED! Cas and Sam presumably spend the whole episode having a mopey-eye contest.
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About the Author - DrImprobable
Before you ask, no, Dr. Improbable is not that kind of doctor, and will not be diagnosing your genital warts today. Seriously, put it away. The doc does more of the "mad science" brand of doctoring, though one day hopes to be that "time and space traveling" kind of doctor. In the meantime, Doc passes time cloning things, memorizing acronyms, and using large magnets. When not plotting all the terrible ways to destroy the human race (particularly those found on public transportation), the doc kills time by watching television and making sarcastic commentary on it.
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