Have you guys missed everyone’s favourite hacks, the Ghostfacers? Have you missed the delightful meta humour that is part of what makes this show so fantastic? The fan service and the throwbacks? Hopefully the answer to all those questions is “yes” because you’re about to get some meta right in the face. Right. In. The. Face.
We open with a teenaged girl in a Chihuahua shirt taking selfies in the mirror. Is that really what youths wear these days? If so, thank God I can drink and vote. Anyway, she gets murdered by what looks like a guy in a melted The Silence mask (because someone on this show is obviously a huge Doctor Who fan – remember the ‘mandroids’?). She dies, but we ask: is it really a crime? Because, seriously, selfies.
Suits! Drink! The Winchesters are on the scene (after the usual consternation about working together), trying to figure out what kind of ghost did this. There is some EMF, though not enough to convince Sam that it’s indeed a spirit. The dead girl’s mom confesses to the boys that she’s asked the Supernaturalists (Meta! Drink!) for help.
Sam and Dean find the Supernaturalists (neé Ghostfacers, neé Hellhounds) in the thick of things. And holy hell, Ed and Harry have gotten old. I remember their days of youthful naiveté like it was yesterday. Despite their aged appearance, they are having trouble being adults, still chasing around ghosts and grumpkins, abandoning friends and loved ones more concerned with startups and investment banking. A commentary on the internet generation? Obvi. Drink for tired use of metahumour.
Anyway, next thing we know some dude gets murdered in a diner – and you can’t blame the cook for this one. The Supernaturalists are “investigating” (yeah, the police seem unconcerned about crime scene tampering) when Sam and Dean show up. Ed and Harry insist the murders are the work of the thinman, a totally-real-thing-from-the-internet. He’s made of… trees? That’s why he’s thin and can teleport? So the writers didn’t actually get very far reading 4chan creepypasta, but whatever. I guess it’s pretty esoteric.
Harry obsessively throws himself into the hunt (does this sound like any little squirrel we know?), and Ed drops him off near the “woods” (so, in a treed area behind a grocery store) and then guiltily admits to Sam that he made up Thinman. He was afraid that Harry was going to leave him behind to grow up like all their other friends did. Sam is disappointed, since he has some (completely jusitifiable) personal issues with loved ones lying to him. Only the thing is, thinman shows up in the “wood” and Harry gets stabbed. Fortunately, the Impala brigade intervenes in time to save him.
Ed confesses he made it all up, much to Harry’s ire, and they bail, leaving the murdery stuff to the Winchesters. However, Sam and Dan get kidnapped by
Slenderthinman… who, as it turns out, is the incompetent policeman and some busboy at the diner. They were just really big fans of Ed and Harry’s work, and took it to the extreme for revenge. It’s been such a long time since the baddies were asshole humans instead of some weird otherworldly being! Throwback. Drink. Also, have another throwback drink for Ed and Harry causing more problems in the real world thanks to their internet fan sites. This is slightly more believable than the symbols on the wall summoning a Nepalese demon or whatever. This show made a lot more sense when Chuck was still prophesying or whatever (RIP).
Before the busboy can slit Dean’s throat (on camera, because there’s this whole “subtle” commentary on internet voyeur culture), the Supernaturalists burst back in on the scene. In their attempt to save the day they very nearly cock everything right back up, and the chubby (heh, “thin”man) policeman nearly kills Ed, but Harry intervenes… with a gun. To his head. So like, thinman is dead now.
Ed thinks this means Harry forgave him, but he didn’t, he’s just not a big enough dick to let his once friend get murdered by a psychopath, and in lieu of our usual Winchester heart-to-heart, we get the Ghostfacers’. Honesty and brotherhood and familial relationships vs. working ones. It’s pretty much the same schtick –even Dean gets his head out of his ass long enough to see the parallels –only Harry at least has the gumption to leave Ed behind instead of awkwardly riding in the car home with him. Yet, in the end, nothing is really resolved, because this is proper meta.
In two weeks: Crowley’s jonesin’ for that sweet sweet Sam Winchester blood! Hopefully WGN doesn’t play another fucking basketball game!
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About the Author - DrImprobable
Before you ask, no, Dr. Improbable is not that kind of doctor, and will not be diagnosing your genital warts today. Seriously, put it away. The doc does more of the "mad science" brand of doctoring, though one day hopes to be that "time and space traveling" kind of doctor. In the meantime, Doc passes time cloning things, memorizing acronyms, and using large magnets. When not plotting all the terrible ways to destroy the human race (particularly those found on public transportation), the doc kills time by watching television and making sarcastic commentary on it.
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