Good news everyone! You don’t have to go without your Supernatural recap this week, even though last week’s episode was amazing and you should go watch it right now. It is a little late because I’ve been nursing a hangover because I went out drinking on a Tuesday because it’s the cup. Also, good news: Bloodlines didn’t get picked up.
In the intro, a snotty little girl in an ice cream shop gets blown to smithereens by an angel, taking several human bystanders with him.
Rise and Shine, Sammy! Agents Spears and Aguilera on the case for Cas’s mysteriously offed angels! Sam forbids Dean from bringing his precious Jawbone of Death with him. (Though Dean’s always got a deadly jawbone…that scruff! I do believe I’ve a case of the vapours!) Cas is worried about the deaths and wants to get to the bottom of the abominable sin of angel-on-angel kamikaze murders.
Metatron, who loves living up to the first half of his name, monologues for a while about how he’s jealous of everyone loving Cas so much. He echoes the thoughts and feelings of viewers everywhere by speaking of Cas’s puppy eyes and adorable dorkiness.
Sam and Dean head to Cas’s headquarters, where his minions are investigating the deaths. A video from the angel murder shows that the angel who went in to kill the little girl actually said, “This is for Castiel” before his suicide murder. He insists he gave no such orders, but Cas’s other followers look alarmed, so Sam interrupts Dean’s lecture on great power/responsibility (eye roll) to talk in private. Cas wants to get to the bottom of the mess and Dean wants to interview the angels without their boss in the room. Their solution is for Sam and Cas to track down an escaped, errant angel whilst Dean conducts interviews.
On the drive, Sam tells Cas about the Abaddon thing. Cas is concerned about his favourite Winchester’s new anger issues. Sam is concerned that Cas hasn’t got his shit under control. Everyone is so concerned for everyone. It would be sweet if it weren’t so co-dependent.
Metatron tries to recruit a faction of independent angels. But it turns out that they like all the human stuff like bowling and body odour. More interesting than heaven at any rate. Also they hate Metatron’s stupid nerdy face.
Dean is interviewing/interrogating one of Cas’s followers. He figures out the reaper Tessa is one of the rogue angels on his side, and heads off to find her. She and another angel, Constantine, are planning to be the next victims/perpetrators of angel violence. Dean stops Tessa before she can off Metatron. Constantine gets into the bowling alley but Gadreel shields Metatron from his destructive power and somehow this doesn’t magically kill everyone like it did earlier. He reports in to his buddies, then drags Tessa back to Cas’s headquarters to “interview” her. Cas’s minions take his angel blade from him so that he can’t threaten with death anymore.
Sam and Cas, meanwhile, have tracked their errant angel to a warehouse, which radiates with a strong power. They have to pass a series of pop-culture tropes (Tolkien, Indiana Jones, Home Alone) to find the backdoor to heaven… only it’s really been moved, Metatron just set it up to trick Cas.
Tessa tells Dean that she and her buddies were working under Cas’s orders. His other followers believe this, but Dean is somewhat sceptical. With just the two of them in the room, things get heated, and Dean pulls out the First Blade because OBVIOUSLY HE WENT BACK TO GET HIS PRECIOUS, SAM. Anyway, he only threatens with the stabbin’, but Tessa walks right up to him and into the blade. Even he seems taken aback.
The other angels have Dean hogtied when Sam and Cas return. They demand to know if Cas really deployed some of the angels to kill their own. Metatron skypes in to let everyone know that Cas is a SuperBadDudeTM and that his stolen Grace is causing him to fade out. He insists on his innocence re: murders, but they demand he kill Dean to prove it. Since Cas can’t resist his manly jawline, he refuses. The three of them skedaddle, leaving Cas’s followers lost and confused behind them.
Meanwhile, Metatron can’t stop monologuing his diabolical plans to Gadreel. He did plant some angels in Cas’s group to kill some of his own. It was all a part of the plan to make himself look like the innocent victim, so that the angels in Cas’s faction would be sympathetic to his cause. I guess he keeps forgetting that he’s a giant douche and no one will ever like him no matter what. Anyway, all of his double-crossing and manipulating is finally taking its toll on Gadreel.
Sam, Dean, and Cas return to the Fortress of Co-Dependentude. Dean tells off Sam for trying to make him part from his precious blade and says it’s a dictatorship and he’s in charge now. More like dick-tatorship, amirite? However, he does assure Cas that the three of them together can face off against all the heavenly hosts and take care of business as usual. Y’know, Dean’s dickishness is much more tolerable when he just embraces that he’s being an asshole. The cockiness works better for him than the constipated confliction he’s always tied up in. Speaking of cocky, Gadreel comes to the bunker, offering an olive branch to the Winchesters and the delivery of Metatron. He asks their forgiveness. Dean reaches to shake his hand in acceptance, and then slashes his heart out with the First Blade.
This week’s episode wasn’t so bad, though last week’s was infinitely better. Because Crowley makes all the things better. I sort of get the vibe that the writers didn’t know what to do about having multiple story lines and random extra characters, so they’re just killing them off at random. Next week is the season finale, and my bold prediction is that Metatron bites it and Dean levels up to become the new Big Boss, which would admittedly make for a pretty great final season.