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Outhouse Writer Shocked To Learn Bay’s Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie “A Real Thing”

Written by GHERU on Friday, August 08 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Outhouse Writer Shocked To Learn Bay’s Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie “A Real Thing”

“I just assumed it was some weird post modern internet art that I just didn’t ‘get.’” ~RU

Source: "real" life

(the following is an actual conversation between RU and WIFE)

WIFE: So, what's the internet’s feeling towards the new Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles movie?

RU: They’re taking it way too seriously. Its just a joke, c’mon people.

WIFE: Joke?

RU: Yea, sometimes I think I’m the only one who recognizes it. The concept of a Michael Bay Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is so fucking absurd that it can’t be real. Its like Shia LaBeouf, Women Against Feminism, or Bitstrips; its some sort of post modern “trolling” eArt that I am too old to understand.

WIFE: I really don’t know how to tell you this…

RU: What?

WIFE: Its real.


WIFE: I hate that I get that reference.

WIFE: No, the movie…it’s actually happening.

RU: …

WIFE: A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie produced by Michael Bay will be in theaters Friday.

RU: Megan Fox?

WIFE: Yup.

RU: You’re fucking with me. Next you’ll be telling me they outlawed teddy bears.

WIFE: Although more entertaining, one is actually happening in reality.

RU: I hate that place.

WIFE: I know.

RU: This is why I drink.

WIFE: I know.

RU: ....

RU: Fuck it, The Turtles were always over-rated anyways.


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About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).


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