Monday, November 20, 2017 • Morning Edition • "Outhouser?! We barely know her!"

Super Reads Avengers #0

Written by SuperginraiX on Wednesday, October 21 2015 and posted in Features

Super Reads Avengers #0

Are you excited about the new Avengers books? Then you should read this book to lower your expectations!



Super Readers, we're living in a post-Secret Wars world and that means it's time to read the anthology monster that is Avengers #0.

Here's your last chance warning:

There are SPOILERS ahead.

Now let's get down and dirty.

AvengersTeamFormed.pngAnd there came a day unlike any other, when Earth's Mightiest Heroes were united against a common threat! On that day, the Avengers were born! -- To fight the foes no single hero could withstand!

You know the Avengers. You love the Avengers. They're Marvel's premiere super-hero team. While the roster, dynamics, and goals have changed, the Avengers have also been one of the central teams of the Marvel Universe.

Prior to the big Secret Wars event, the two main Avengers books actually only featured ONE Avengers team. That was the group that mostly got play in the regular "Avengers" title. Over in the companion book, New Avengers, it was the ILLUMINATI that took center stage. They weren't Avengers. Instead, they were a group that had historically guided and safeguarded the world and became the front line defense when those dreaded Incursions started threatening all life as we know it.

Besides the main team, we had the more street level Mighty Avengers, the spy organization Secret Avengers, and the Food Network tie-in Chef Avengers.

That last one is probably fake. The point is, the title is a FRANCHISE and that means multiple Avengers teams for multiple purposes but mostly to make more money. In a short bit, you're going to see where the current Avengers teams are and where they're going.

Ultimates.pngBut not all Avengers teams call themselves "Avengers."

In the hyper cool, relatively more realistic Ultimate Universe, the Avengers concept was deemed to fuddy-duddy to be considered for the world's most popular super-hero team. So instead of being Avengers, the new team was called the Ultimates.

Otherwise, it was pretty much the same team and had the same members. Things went in different directions, with a greater emphasis on wide screen action and Michael Bay-style dialogue.

In time, the team would diverge a great deal from Marvel-616's Avengers. Well, that direction is going to keep on going as the Ultimates title merges into the regular Marvel Universe.

SquadronSupreme.pngOn another world, the world's greatest heroes went with the name Squadron Supreme. These super-heroes were a lot less like the Avengers and a lot MORE like DC's Justice League of America.

Composed of members like Hyperion (Superman), Nighthawk (Batman), Doctor Spectrum (Green Lantern), and the Whizzer (Hahahahahaha), the Squadron Supreme kept their world safe from the dangers that threatened it. And if you haven't read the twelve issue maxi-series by Mark Gruenwald, I highly recommend it.

In the 2000's, the Squadron was rebooted in a series called Supreme Power which featured the team forming in a more modern setting under more... realistic... circumstances. I mean, we're dealing with capes and tights. Nothing is actually realistic.

In the pre-Secret Wars Avengers books, a version of Hyperion joined up with the Avengers to help them face the larger threats that seemed to rain down on the world.

And let's not forget that in some worlds, the members of Squadron Supreme are actually VILLAINS that come together under the name Squadron Sinister. You never know if you're dealing with good guys or bad guys unless they announce their team's name and intentions. And even THEN...

Avengers0.pngAvengers #0
Writer: James Robinson
Penciler: Leonard Kirk
Inker: Paul Neary
Color Artist: Frank Martin
Letterer: Travis Lanham (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Mark Paniccia & Chris Robinson

In this issue: The Squadron Supreme take out a hidden Skrull base while talking about the potential threat of the Avengers.

Bullet Points:
• While the new Squadron Supreme fights Skrulls, Nighthawk talks to them over a communicator from the safety of Oracle, Inc., telling them all about how their team might have to fight Avengers in the future.
• All-New, All-Different Avengers story featuring Vision and the Scarlet Witch.
• The Squadron Supreme finishes off the Skrulls.
• Nighthawk orders them to take anything useful and then destroy the rest, leaving no sign that the Squadron was here.
• A-Force story featuring Captain Marvel and Alpha Flight.
• The Squadron preps the Skrull base to detonate.
• New Avengers story featuring future visions of the team and The Maker.
• Squadron Supreme leaves the Skrull headquarters to a nuclear explosion, while talking about the possibility of murdering Roberto da Costa.
• Uncanny Avengers story featuring Deadpool, Steve Rogers, and a seriously wounded Rogue.
• While the Squadron fly off to rendevous with Nighthawk at Oracle, Inc., Nighthawk fills them in on one more super-hero team...
• The Ultimates Story featuring Ms. America Chavez's initiation into the team.
• The Squadron Supreme join Nighthawk at Oracle Inc., and pose dramatically.

SUPREMACY

You see this italicized text? Good. The story of the new Avengers teams is broken up by a tale of the new Squadron Supreme. In fact, the Squadron story is the literary device that introduces the rest of the stories. So you're going to see those stories and then we're going to cut BACK to THIS story and so on and so forth.

So, to help differentiate between them, the Squadron Supreme tale will be italicized. And it will WORK, dammit!

Since this takes place in the All-New, All-Different Marvel Universe, that means it takes place eight months after Secret Wars. Because of that, stuff has happened that we aren't aware of. For example, the new Squadron Supreme has "recent dealings with Namor and the Atlanteans" and somehow ended up with Namor's surface business, Oracle, Inc. It's become Nighthawk's command center and he's currently trying explain the importance of having Oracle, Inc. and money to fellow teammember, Zarda.

Before we go any further, let's explain the current dynamic of the latest Squadron Supreme. This particular line-up is composed of members from all over the multiverse. Nighthawk is from the Supreme Power universe. Hyperion is the one that showed up in Hickman's Avengers run. Zarda is from the Secret Wars tie-in, Squadron Sinister. Doctor Spectrum is from Hickman's New Avengers story dealing with the Great Society. Blur is from Marvel's New Universe.

While Nighthawk is at Oracle, Inc. Headquarters, the rest of the Squadron Supreme is battling Skrulls at an unknown location.

Zarda doesn't see the point of running a business while doing the whole super-powered bit but Nighthawk and Hyperion try to explain that there's more to changing the world than hitting things. Nighthawk goes on the explain that it's Hyperion's experience as an Avenger that helped him define the newest iteration of the Squadron. That's because this particular version of the Squadron Supreme is going to turn some heads when they face the threats they feel they need to face.

Each of them has lost their own world/ universe. Now that they're here, they're going to do their damndest to keep this world safe and secure, even if their actions come across as a threat to the rest of the world's super-heroes. With that in mind, Nighthawk starts describing the various Avengers teams.

Because the Squadron might have to fight them in the future.

All-New, All-Different Avengers Story
Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Mahmud Asrar
Color Artist: Sonia Oback
Letterer: Cory Petit (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Tom Brevoort, Wil Moss, & Alanna Smith

In this story: Because he can't keep his memories in check, the Vision initiates a program that erases his emotions and tests out his new emotionless self on his ex-wife, Wanda Maximoff.

Bullet Points:
• In Whisper Hill, Massachusetts, Wanda Maximoff is visited by her ex-husband, the Vision, who is seeing ghosts.
• In a flashback, we learn that Avengers Tower has been sold to Qeng Enterprises and that the Vision visited the old Avengers HQ to collect his stuff.
• Before leaving, he had a three-dimensional memory recall of originally joining the Avengers, caused by his emotional state and his perfect memory.
• Before too long, the Vision was seeing ghosts at the slightest recollection.
• So, he left New York City for less populated regions.
• However, in Ecuador, he was unable to save the life of a bus accident victim because he saw ghosts of every other person he had saved in similar circumstances and they cluttered up the landscape.
• Back in the now, Vision announced that he had come to visit Wanda to test out his solution for this problem: erasing his emotional connection to his memories.
• As the program takes effect, the Scarlet Witch's ghosts disappear.
• Vision loses his emotions.
• Wanda is horrified.

EIDETIC

On a dark and stormy night in Whisper Hill, Massachusetts, Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, prepares some dinner while talking on the phone with an unnamed friend. She's expecting company this evening: her ex-husband, the Vision. Wanda's phone friend asks something like "ooooh! Are you trying to get those old fires burning with your ex?" But nothing could be further from the truth! The Vision and the Scarlet Witch are done as a couple.

Vish just needs Wanda's help with something and she's trying to be there for him. Considering their history, it's the least she can do.

There's a knock on the door. Since Wanda can't leave the stove unattended, she yells at the Vision to come on inside. Vision phases through the door, meets Wanda in the kitchen, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Wanda comments sarcastically about the forwardness of this action.

But the Vision doesn't respond to her amazing wit. That's because he's distracted by all the Scarlet Witches. Before his eyes, various "ghosts" of Wanda Maximoff appear beside the real one. They wear different versions of her costume from numerous time periods. Wanda notices Vision's distraction and asks him about it.

This is exactly why Vision is here. "It appears that I am being HAUNTED."

The Scarlet Witch comments that it's weird that the robot man is being haunted. In a nearby mirror, the Vision sees his reflection as the Human Torch. The two sit on a loveseat as the Vision recalls the first time Wanda called him a "mechanical man." He then remembers how she listened as he corrected her.

Because the Vision isn't REALLY a mechanical man. He's a synthezoid. If you cut him opens, he's not going to be all wires and computer parts. "Synthezoid" means artificial human being. So every organ is recreated with synthetic materials. You could easily find a comic that would show robot parts but that's mostly because the concept of being a synthezoid is hard to grasp and a lot of writers and artists just go with him being an android and editors let them because it's HARD TO CONTROL TALENT.

Also: unlike his movie counterpart, the Vision doesn't have an Infinity Stone embedded in his forehead. That gem thing is typically a solar cell, providing him with power. However, I wouldn't be surprised if that changes in the near future to more align with the cinematic universe.

Back to our story: the Vision's perfect recollection of his past reminds Wanda that her ex has a perfect memory. He doesn't forget which probably made arguing with him super awesome. She holds his hand and the Vision sees a number of ghost Scarlet Witches to the same. She asks Vision to tell her the story of how he found himself haunted.

We take a journey twelve days into the past. It seems that Avengers Tower was put up for sale and bought by a company called Qeng Enterprises. Before the closing date, the Vision took a trip to the tower to pick up his things. Vish was feeling sad at this ending, like the last day at a job, when suddenly, the ghosts of the past reached out and touched him.

The Vision relived the events of Avengers #58, where he was initially invited to join Earth's Mightiest Heroes. While WE can see through the phantom Avengers, to the Vision, their appearance is PERFECT. They seem exactly real.

From this moment, the effect became more widespread.

AllNewAllDifferentAvengersImage1.png

Surrounded by people that weren't there, the Vision found it difficult to trust his senses. Every search into the CAUSE of these apparitions came up with NOTHING. In order to clear his head of fake people, the Vision sought out less familiar environments, leaving New York behind for less populated regions.

But this was not a cure.

While hanging out in Ecuador, the Vision came across a tour bus that had met an unfortunate accident. A landslide had buried it and the bus had caught on fire. As they tend to do.

The worst was already over. There were already a lot of dead people. But, from inside the burning bus, the Vision heard a lone survivor. He phased inside to save a life only to be assaulted by a bus full of ghosts.

Like Wanda says, the Vision had been in similar circumstances. A LOT. You know how this goes. The bus was going to detonate but before it's fiery conclusion, the Vision was able to use his instincts to pull the one REAL person out of the bus.

Except when he checked his hands upon clearing the danger zone, the Vision found that all he had was is his own cape. Before he's able to fly back in to try again, the bus exploded, killing that one remaining survivor.

In the present, the Scarlet Witch is shocked at how that story turned out but at least the Vision has worked out the problem. His memory, perfect as it is, is recalling events into ghostly life. Wanda remarks how terrible not being able to forget is.

But while she's doing that, some of the ghost Scarlet Witches start disappearing.

When she asks her ex-husband what she can do to help him, he replies that there is nothing she can do. Meeting with her has actually been a test for his own solution to this problem. The Vision has come to the conclusion that it's not really his memories that are the problem. It's his emotional connection TO those memories. So, in order to clear his vision (ahem), he has done something truly awful.

He's instigated a program that will get rid of all his pesky emotions. As he tells a horrified Scarlet Witch what he did, more of her ghosts disappear. The program is working it's mojo. Since Wanda is the person he had the most emotions FOR, he'll be able to tell when it's concluded when her last ghost fades. She lays a hand on his face but he pulls it away.

Emotions: purged. Wanda freaks out.

AllNewAllDifferentAvengersImage2_copy.png

OK. We're back in our Squadron Supreme story. The team is just finishing up kicking the snot out of the Skrulls. Zarda, learning that the main Avengers team has sold their headquarters and possibly disbanded, doesn't think Earth's Mightiest pose much of a threat. Hyperion disagrees, believing that no matter their current state, the Avengers get it together when they fight for what they believe in.

But the discussion is tables temporarily while the Squadron takes stock of their battle with the Skrulls. It's concluded, which is good for mother Earth. As the team describes, these were "a new form of Super-Skrull hybrid with a beachhead on Earth." So Squadron Supreme just saved us from another Secret Invasion. They have my eternal gratitude.

Nighthawk wants to make sure that no one knows the Squadron was here, so he tells them to take anything that looks useful and then destroy everything else.

Now, back to those Avengers. Nighthawk tries to convince Zarda of how important they are by telling her about how "one of the mightiest Avengers is a WOMAN" and wondering what'll happen when she gets her own all-girl team...

A-Force Story
Writer: G. Willow Wilson
Artist: Victor Ibañez
Color Artist: Laura Martin
Letterer: Cory Petit (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Daniel Ketchum & Alanna Smith

In this story: In near-Earth orbit, Captain Marvel deals with the threat of nothing becoming something with the help of her Alpha Flight team, Doctor Tempest Bell, specifically.

Bullet Points:
• A glowy thing shows up inbetween the Earth and the Moon, causing cameo appearances by most of A-Force's future cast.
• In low-space orbit, astrobiologist Doctor Tempest Bell joins the crew of the space station, Alpha Flight, just in time to solve the mystery of the alien light entity.
• Captain Marvel approaches the entity and it attacks her.
• Pressed on finding a solution to this dilemna, Doctor Bell comes up with a plan that involves creating a vacuum in close proximity to the creature in order to temporarily disperse it's form.
• And look: that means she's volunteered for a space mission!
• After being launched into space, Doctor Bell creates that vacuum and the entity is defeated for now.
• Captain Marvel wakes up and collects Doctor Bell, returning the astrobiologist to Alpha Flight.
• Meanwhile, Singularity glows brightly in the sky.

IN THE BEGINNING

Somewhere between the Earth and the Moon, SOMETHING has just popped into existence. It's big enough that people can see it from Earth. On a plane, Nico Minoru (from Runaways) sees the event light up her windows. Dazzler sees it from ground level, since she's hanging out by her overheated car near a cornfield. From her office, lawyer, Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk) catches the light show as it hangs over the night sky.

And now, you've caught the cameo appearances of the future A-Force cast. Say good-bye to them because they won't appear for the rest of the story. That's what a "cameo" is.

Back in space, that little collection of glowy lights starts talking. "I... AM."

I never said it was riveting conversation.

In the past, Alpha Flight has been the name for Canada's government sponsored super-hero program. Comprised of members like Guardian, Puck, Snowbird, Northstar, Aurora, Vindicator, and Sasquatch, Alpha Flight was responsible for keeping Canada safe from threats both large and small.

Today, the Alpha Flight name has gone to the low-orbit space station and it's all-female team that offers support to Captain Marvel.

AForceImage1.png

The all-girl thing is a LITTLE weird. I mean, IS it a requirement? If this was specifically an all-boy clubhouse, I would have a problem with it. Maybe there's a token dude somewhere in the background.

I guess as long as the team is competent, that's all that matters. Witness newcomer, Doctor Tempest Bell, one seriously talented astrobiologist. As the entity comes together in human form right outside the space station, Dr. Bell explains that space isn't just a lifeless void but a place that's just filled with STUFF capable of causing and supporting life.

At the end of her talk, she shouts out that a beam of light seems to be headed in their direction. The unnamed commander of Alpha Flight tells her that this is Captain Marvel and she's actually flying towards the now human-formed entity.

Captain Marvel is Colonel Carol Danvers. And she's awesome. She asks her team what she's dealing with, telling them that the world's governments are freaking out and arming up their nukes. Alpha Flight doesn't know what this thing is but it bears a similar energy signature to ANOTHER "anomaly" they've been watching.

But, to my eyes, this thing looks a lot like the U-Foes' Vector. All those circles and lines. The colors. It looks like Vector. It ISN'T. Maybe it's another version of him from a different universe. We won't learn that now. In fact, the entity seems to just NOW be aware that it's a person at all.

Danvers asks for Doctor Bell's assessment and Tempest postulates that this entity is self-aware light that tore through to our universe.

As soon as it becomes self aware ENOUGH, it attacks.

AForceImage2

Captain Marvel fires a photon blast at the entity but this is just light attacking light so it doesn't HURT the new creature. In a short time, the entity incapacitates Captain Marvel.

Back aboard Alpha Flight, everyone is looking to Doctor Bell to solve this problem. She comes up with a theory that creating a vacuum near the entity will at least temporarily end it's threat.

Well, temporary is what super-heroes DO. The astrobiologist is suited up in a space suit for a HALO drop and given a device that will create a vacuum. All Doctor Bell needs to do is fire it off at the right range and the battle is over. She'll then drop into Earth's atmosphere and the suit will deploy a parachute whenever it feels like it. Hopefully, before she burns up.

Best plan ever.

Doctor Bell is launched at the entity. It notices her and grabs Tempest's leg. Bell ignites the vacuum bomb.

The vacuum does what it's supposed to do, dispersing the light creature. He's not happy about it but he spent his first few moments in this universe trying to hurt people so we don't care that much how he feels.

Captain Marvel wakes up and returns Doctor Bell to the Alpha Flight Space Station, saving her a scary trip back to Earth. As our two heroes are busy in the airlock, the Alpha Flight deck crew notices a NEW light show.

I'm fairly certain this is the other anomaly they were tracking but it's all glowy now. When we get a closer look at it, we see a star-filled girl hanging out inside it.

This is almost certainly, Singularity, the girl we were introduced to in A-Force #1.

Back at that Skrull base, Squadron Supreme have collected all the mementos they'll need of this mission. Doctor Spectrum hits the base's energy reactor with a blast of light. That should take care of the Skrull base and hide the team's tracks from the authorities.

Nighthawk just can't stop talking about the Avengers. The next team he tells Zarda about is Sunspot's Avengers Idea Mechanics. Hyperion remembers serving on the Avengers with Roberto da Costa.

New Avengers Story
Writer: Al Ewing
Artist: Gerardo Sandoval
Color Artist: Dono Sanchez Almara
Letterer: Joe Caramagna (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Tom Brevoort, Wil Moss, & Alanna Smith

In this story: WHISPER uses a captured SHIELD precog to show them visions of the New Avengers' future.

Bullet Points:
• The mysterious bug agents of WHISPER capture a telepathic SHIELD Agent and force him to show them the future of Robert da Costa's Avengers Idea Mechanics.
• We get swatches of the New Avengers' future, from their initial press conference to some of the threats they'll face in the future.
• One of those threats is a Godzilla with an American Flag tattooed on it's forehead.
• Yes, seriously.
• The SHIELD Agent dies, ending the visions of the future.
• Ultimate Reed Richards, the man in charge of WHISPER, asks his followers to call him The Maker.

EVERYTHING IS NEW

You may have never heard of WHISPER before. That's because they're new. And insect-like. This group of nefarious bad guys have kidnapped a SHIELD Agent. A telepathic precognitive SHIELD Agent.

They have done this for a specific reason. Popping a crazy helmet on the Agent's head, they tell him to think about Roberto da Costa, ignoring the Agent's screams about the helmet "drilling into [his] head."

What follows is a couple pages of hints, teases, and insanity for the latest line-up of New Avengers.

During the last run of Avengers, Sunspot (Roberto da Costa) managed a hostile takeover of AIM. It used to stand for "Advanced Idea Mechanics" but the new company is called "Avengers Idea Mechanics." As Sunspot explains, the new team is based on Avengers Island in international waters and will act as "a super-scientific GLOBAL RESCUE ORGANIZATION."

NewAvengersImage1.png

Naturally, there are going to be people who DOUBT the new, altruistic nature of AIM. This is why some crazy general is going to sic the America Kaiju at them. That's a Godzilla monster with an American Flag tattooed on it's forehead.

The new line-up is EXTENSIVE. We've got Sunspot, Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Hulkling, Wiccan, Squirrel Girl, White Tiger, and Power Man. At one point, Songbird announces that they have a traitor on the team. At another, Hawkeye admits to being the traitor in a joking fashion.

There's a space mission, an adventure featuring the future Avengers, White Tiger confronting the White Tiger God, and an invasion from "the Afterlife."

The rest of the panels are devoted to a press conference where Roberto is explaining the new team and concept to the press.

When this vision is over, the telepathic SHIELD Agent is a dead husk. WHISPER has learned all it's going to and acquiring another SHIELD Agent isn't really feasible. The WHISPER Agents tell their "Supreme One" that the situation with AIM could leave an opening for THEM to take over the organization but the Supreme One doesn't see the need. They already plucked all of the useful AIM Agents away after Roberto took over.

The Supreme One is perfectly happy with WHISPER but he wants things to move more quickly. For example, they have these gorilla scorpion suits called Neohedron that he wants completed by month's end.

The only thing the Supreme One ISN'T happy about is being called "Supreme One." The bugs in WHISPER call him this because of tradition and because they owe their current state to his guidance. However, they're willing to call him whatever he wants.

That's good, because he wants to be called "The Maker." This is Ultimate Reed Richards. You can tell because he's still speaking in a style that doesn't use ALL-CAPS. Behind him is The City.

If nothing else about New Avengers interests you, and it doesn't really have my attention, The Maker might do it...

The Squadron Supreme has left the Skrull base. Apparently, overloading that energy reactor has caused a nuclear explosion.

SquadronSupremeImage1.png

This is concerning to NO ONE.

Nighthawk tells his team that one of their greatest advantages is that they don't have to follow the rules that other super-hero teams do. Except, in the case of Sunspot's New Avengers, they've got pretty much the same thing going. AIM resides in international waters. Da Costa is rich enough to make his own rules up as he goes. They could prove the greatest threat to what the Squadron Supreme hopes to accomplish.

When Zarda casually mentions killing Roberto, Hyperion shuts down this line of thinking. Sure, killing is great but not if it's killing "good people 'just in case.'"

Of course, Hyperion's line in the sand reminds Nighthawk of another team of Avengers. The Unity Squad. They are a team of heroes from the world of humans, mutants, and Inhumans, showing the world that we can all work together despite our differences.

Uncanny Avengers Story
Writer: Gerry Duggan
Artist: Ryan Stegman
Color Artist: Richard Isanove
Letterer: Clayton Cowles (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Tom Brevoort, Daniel Ketchum, & Alanna Smith

In this story: Deadpool engages in non-lethal missions for Steve Rogers, stealing a canister that will save the life of Rogue and earning his very own Avengers ID card.

Bullet Points:
• Deadpool takes up a charity work, doing non-lethal missions for Steve Rogers.
• His latest adventure involves stealing a can of Terrigen Mists from an evil organization in order to maybe cure Rogue of Terrigen Mist exposure.
• Because the mists kill mutants, now.
• Thanks, Marvel.
• After delivering the can to Steve Rogers and seeing Rogue's current state, Deadpool is shown out through a side door.
• But not before Steve gives him his Avengers ID card.

THE NIGHT THAT HELL FROZE OVER

You know Deadpool. Of course you do. At his best, Wade Wilson is the Merc with a Mouth, a guy that is allowed to talk about the absurdities of living in a comic book world while killing his way through whatever's in his path. DP is a cartoon character operating in a world that pretends REALLY HARD to be realistic but just happens to have people flying around wearing tights.

It's a successful concept when written by the right person and the worst thing you'll ever read when handled by the wrong person.

If you're expecting Deadpool's trademark wit in this story, then you'll be disappointed. Or maybe that's a blessing. I haven't decided. The point is, Deadpool barely talks. Most of the story is handled through narration boxes, where Wade tells us that he gets these missions from an "old man" who writes them down on note cards.

The missions are decidedly non-lethal. Deadpool is forced to handle these adventures without his typical murder spree. He's amused that he loves them so much, considering he used to make fun of the old man he's working for.

And even weirder, he's doing this pro bono. There's no paycheck involved. And he LOVES it.

While the narration boxes do their thing, we watch as Deadpool professionally infiltrates an evil facility, using non-lethal means to take out any security guard in his way before escaping with a canister of whatsis via helicopter.

He delivers this canister to Avengers Mansion where Steve Rogers is waiting. That's the old man Wade is working for. The canister contains Terrigen Mists that Rogers says were going to be used to bad stuff.

HE, however, is only going to use them for good.

UncannyAvengersImage1.png

Oh, Terrigen Mists, what terrible thing have you wrought now? If you aren't aware, Terrigen Mists are the activating agent for Inhumans. During the Infinity event, the king of the Inhumans, Blackbolt, unleashed a bomb on the world that unleashed the Terrigen Mists on the whole world, activated a lot of people that had Inhuman DNA mixed into their genetic structure.

Now, there are clouds of Terrigen Mist that have mixed in with weather patterns, bringing chaos wherever they roam. For humans, the Mists are harmless. For latent Inhumans, they provoke a change that gives them their powers and, possibly, a change in appearance.

And then, there are mutants. The Terrigen Mist clouds kill mutants. Because of course they do.

Rogue was seriously damaged during one such escapade, where she risked a high exposure to the Terrigen Mists in order to save other mutants. It is hoped that this canister of Terrigen Mist might be just the thing that'll save her life.

As Steve Rogers shuffles Deadpool out a side door, Wade asks him why he didn't just send an Avengers on this very important mission. Instead of saying something like, "mutants don't get that kind of priority," Rogers just hands DP another white card.

UncannyAvengersImage2.png

I would be more upset with this if the second line-up of Avengers wasn't composed almost entirely of criminals.

With their latest assignment completed, the Squadron wonders where they should meet up with Nighthawk. He wants them to come to Oracle, Inc. just to mess with Zarda some more.

Hyperion hopes they're done talking about Avengers BUT THEY AREN'T! Nighthawk has one more team to talk about. They aren't TECHNICALLY Avengers but the concept is similar. In fact, this is the team that interests Nighthawk the most as both a potential adversary or... maybe an alliance.

Ultimates Story
Writer: Al Ewing
Artist: Kenneth Rocafort
Color Artist: Dan Brown
Letterer: Joe Sabino (from Virtual Calligraphy)
Editors: Wil Moss & Jon Moisan

In this story: Ms. America Chavez closes an unwanted gateway into the Marvel Universe with the power of dance, love, and positive thinking.

Bullet Points:
• Our A-Force story continues here, where Black Panther has tracked hole in the universe to the edge of the solar system.
• Ms. America Chavez is sent into the interdimensional portal and clears the break in reality of any monsterous intruders.
• When that's done, she uses magic cell phone coverage to call her date for the evening and get her groove on.
• With the power of dancing and good vibrations, Ms. America has the power to close this hole into the Marvel Universe.
• America takes a trip to Ultimate HQ and is invited into the team.
• She accepts, thinking to herself that if she needs to take these guys out, she'll be in perfect position to do so.

THE OPPOSITE OF KICKING

Hey, remember that story about the crazy light entity that broke through into the Marvel Universe? Look up. It's the A-Force story. I can't believe you already forgot it.

Well, that story took place in low-Earth orbit but it had CONSEQUENCES just beyond the edge of the solar system. Captain Marvel reported the incident to Black Panther and T'challa tracked a "breach in space-time" to this location. He's taken a space-worthy two-seater to this hole in the universe for the express purpose of sealing it up and saving all of existence.

Captain Marvel offers him all the help that Alpha Flight can give but he won't need it. That's because he's brought along his own help: Ms. America Chavez.

A version of Ms. America showed up in the Secret Wars tie-in, Siege. The Marvel version has a very short, very confusing history. VERY CONFUSING. The gist is that she's from another universe and has spent a lot of her time hopping from one universe to another. She teamed up with the Young Avengers during that team's last series. As far as powers, America's got your typical flight, strength, and durability as well as the ability to kick open star-shaped interdimensional doors.

It's that last ability that'll come into use today. Well, she'll also have to hit a lot of things. So, she'll be in her element.

Unfortunately for Ms. America, she had a date tonight but super-hero stuff comes first. He date didn't mind. America doesn't do the whole secret identity thing so her date, Lisa, totally understands postponing a night of dancing so the world can be safe.

Chavez breaks on through to the other side of the hole in the universe and ends up in a fight with all the unmentionable atrocities that have gathered around the portal. This brings to mind the Dan Abnett/ Andy Lanning Guardians of the Galaxy series where the team was brought together with the mandate of sealing similar cracks in reality. They even faced similar hideous monsters!

Ms. America easily defeats and scatters the monsters threatening to enter the Marvel Universe. Now, comes the hard part. That's a pretty big hole in the universe and even though one of her powers is opening (and CLOSING) dimensional portals, for something THIS big, she's going to need to enter a VERY happy place.

And so, she calls up her date using her Loki-imbued magic cell phone and asks Lisa if she wants to dance.

Yeah. They're going to dance together on opposite sides of a phone call.

And that dance makes America so happy that she's able to close that interdimensional portal and save the universe from unspeakable evil.

UltimatesImage1.png

And that's great but, seriously, Lisa is drawn like a crack addict. America tells us that her date is training to be a paramedic but I think she's just stealing medical supplies. Look at those dead eyes.

Maybe that'll be a plot point, later on.

Now that the universe is saved, Ms. America Chavez takes a star-portal to Ultimates headquarters. Apparently, that was her audition. The Blue Marvel (Doctor Adam Brashear) and Spectrum (Monica Rambeau) welcome her to the team. On monitors, Captain Marvel and Black Panther look on, approvingly.

The only problem is that Ms. America is on the team only because she's concerned about the Ultimates' goals. If they turn all dark, Chavez wants to be close enough to take them out before they can go 100% evil.

!!!With our last team of "Avengers" successfully marketed out to us, the Squadron Supreme is free to join up with Nighthawk at Oracle, Inc.

Nighthawk puts on his helmet as the team walks in, possibly to hide his face from the others or maybe at least to hide those crazy target eyes. Blur has one more question about the Avengers and he suffers through Zarda grousing about all of this Avengers talk to get to it.

Q: Does Nighthawk REALLY think they'll be fighting the Avengers?

A: No, but it was a great way to break up this anthology, right?

In reality, Nighthawk DOES NOT think they'll be fighting the Avengers. At least not until the prerequisite event. No, he just wanted his team to be informed just in case it comes up. After all, they're agenda is going to turn some heads and the Avengers tend to not like people messing with the status quo.

As the newest version of the Squadron Supreme poses for the invisible camera, Nighthawk closes things with "I'm CONVINCED we have the power, the commitment, and the resilience... so that our SQUADRON will stand SUPREME."

OH! So they're the Squadron Supreme! Got it.





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About the Author - SuperginraiX


SuperginraiX is the biggest sap on The Outhousers' payroll (wait, we get paid?). He reads every issue of every crappy Marvel crossover so you don't have to. Whats worse is that he pays for his books, thus condoning Marvel's behavior. If The Outhouse cared for his well being at all, they'd try and get him into some sort of rehab center. But, alas, none of us even know how to say his name. For a good time, ask Super why Captian America jumped off the Helicarrier in Fear Itself. Super lives in the frozen wastland that is Minnesota with 15% of the state's population living under his roof: a wife he makes wear an Optimus Prime mask, two gremlins, and his mother-in-law.

 


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