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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows Review

Written by Zechs on Friday, June 03 2016 and posted in Features

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows Review

Zechs would prefer the film remain in the shadows. At least some portions of it.



......

Why am I here again? I didn't even lose a bet this time. I lost something when I saw the 2014 original movie. A part of me still has recurring night terrors remembering the horrors of cinema from that damn movie. 

Yet, there I was AGAIN, seeing the sequel to this goddamn movie. What was I freaking on? I didn't drink anything. Seeing this film was my own free will.

And I did see it. This is ten minutes after seeing the movie in theaters yesterday afternoon (seriously what's up with a freaking 5 pm showtime? You really think you're gonna get people to see it at that time of the day?) because.. again why did I get suckered into this one? Oh right... now I remember. I'm a masochist.

 

 

It's been one day since I've seen the movie. The viewing has gestated in me and I'm of the same point of view as yesterday. If you turn your mind off and let the movie go on, you might enjoy it. But if you start thinking like, I did, you'll begin to see the plot is made out of swiss cheese and the scenes are even more laughable. Like the realization that all the Foot Ninjas survive in this. Literally, they get knocked out or their parachute saves them. Not even when Rocksteady should accidentally mow them down with a machine gun. They should be deader than dead. But no. Yet, cops in this? Oh they're dead. Who knew the studio cared enough so much for every single Foot Ninja to go out of their way to show that they survive their nasty fates? 

Also, while I was highly critical of Stephen Amell's performance in the movie. I did kind of enjoy him just utterly destroying the bar and the bar's owner was played by Dean Winters (Mayhem from all those car insurance commercials). It still doesn't change my mind on his other scenes (or the lack of chemistry he has with Megan Fox). 

That and I'm a little more appreciative of Will Arnett's performance, and them letting him do his thing (the scene when he's in the TCRI building was great), then give forced comedy or creepy glances at April like in the previous. 

Still, with how Krang originally figures into this, why the hell Shredder would go into this partnership knowing nothing about how Krang's tech works, or even any sort of edge? Why not just bring Bebop and Rocksteady with him? Also why the hell did he only have blades on his arms? Why was this version just so pathetic when he was built up in the original to be this uber ninja bad ass? I mean I get that this movie put a lot of distance (for the most part) between itself and the original. But... this movie still was trying to make Shredder out like he was intimidating and then he goes out like a chump turkey.

Also those end credits were absolutely terrifying whenever it came to the human characters in this. Seriously, they looked more fucked up than the Turtles!  But it was nice hearing the 80s theme as the closing song. Even if the score throughout the movie in this was meh.  

But I digress, this is a major improvement compared to the previous film. It's still not, say, on par with the 90s original, or even the cartoons that it has homages literally throughout the movie (I mean yeah the 2012 Easter Egg with Rocksteady's real name make's no sense given his monologue from earlier, but it's a fun nugget). But it has some qualities I did enjoy. It focused way more on the actual Turtles this time around, April was gone for a good portion of the plot (seriously they need to recast the role), nothing too cringe-worthy, and honestly seeing Bebop, Rocksteady, and Krang was sweet (it could have been sweeter seeing a full-on money shot of the Technodrome). So yeah, just turn off your mind when seeing this movie. You'll enjoy it more. There are a few cringe-worthy moments here and there. But this movie is nowhere near as bad like the previous film.  It gives you want you're paying to see. But if you're expecting something deep like Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (I know some of you are gonna say, "Seriously?" Yeah... It did kind of try to be deep.) or Captain America: Civil War. You ain't gonna find that here. This is intro-level fun. The heart is mostly in the right place. It just needs some more fine-tweaking. ...... VERY fine-tweaking in certain areas. 

So there... I took the bullet. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna wash out the bad memories this one gave me and focus on the glory of seeing Bebop & Rocksteady in live-action at long last, which was actually done pretty well. So yeah, I'm not gonna give it a score. This is a movie you're either gonna love it for what it gives you, or hate it for the Bayisms that prevent you from having fun with it. Me? I'm in the middle ground. I can easily see the horribleness that everyone is preaching, and yet a part of me can also see why anyone can enjoy it. Now if you don't mind I have some heavy drinking to do.

 





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About the Author - Zechs


Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.

 


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