Saturday, March 25, 2017 • Afternoon Edition • "Now part of a nutrituous breakfast!"

Durnkin Reveewz: Inhumans vs. X-Men #0

Written by Zechs on Thursday, December 01 2016 and posted in Features

Durnkin Reveewz: Inhumans vs. X-Men #0

If last week's prelude wasn't enough, how about ANOTHER PRELUDE?!



* People seem to enjoy my rantings. So much so they want it to be an article ont he front page. So here it is.

To those who do not know what they're about to read. Well, here's your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain't Your Dad's Root Bear trying to comprehend the garbage you read. So there. You've been warned. Anything now is on your head for not following the warning.

I've had two days to stomach Avengers vs. X-Men #0 when it was spoiled freely on the internet by a saint (and I in turn summed up the spoilers here). I say saint, because anyone who scanned each freaking boring almost entirely needless page has to be one. Likewise to warn us the garbage fire that this event will probably be (if Death of X hasn't taught us anything already). 

So, basically NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS ISSUE. Nothing we haven't known or seen prior. The entire issue is basically Beast trying to find a cure (SPOILER ALERT! He doesn't.), Emma Frost continuing her ride back to full-on villain (ARGH!) by , and "the Roman Reigns" of the Marvel Universe, the Inhumans (i.e. Shoving them down our throats with numerous ongoings, telling us to like them, and basically Marvel utterly failing at them becoming the filling this void that Marvel themselves created because FOX HAS THE X-MEN RIGHTS! We gotta treat them and every mutant character like shit! We'll throw in Johnny Storm too because FUCK YOU FOX FOR ALSO HAVING THE FANTASTIC FOUR RIGHTS). 

...

Okay, I gotta stop myself and regain focus. *deep breath* This comic continues the trend of me wanting wanting nothing more to see the mutants smack the living shit out of the Inhumans egotistic asses. I guess we might get that, but I doubt it'll last before some X-Men will become villains aka what happened the last go-around aka Avengers vs. X-Men

Speaking of villains. Just really what happened to them? In probably the only shining spot in this issue for me we're reminded in a gorgeous splash-page of previous attempts of Mutant Genocide and better stories that told this tale. You know? When heroes fought villains who kind of been absent for the most part save a tease here or there on Cullen Bunn's Uncanny X-Men (probably the only X-Men team book named X-Men I give a damn when Greg Land isn't involved) or Civil War: Inhumans vs. X-Men. Eh least the idea will be somewhat represented on the Inhuman side later on in this event. But here's the thing. There are so many holes in the how and why now it's downright sad. 

The fact that somehow Emma mentally projected an image of Cyclops that not only fooled those involved, but also fooled the press who somehow got a video of Blackbolt "executing" Cyclops. Further, I get that Emma is playing psychological games with Magneto, but again if he's not aiding her willingly in her agenda. Doesn't that helmet that blocks mental powers kind of not work? Or the fact that I dunno how estranged Emma's side was and how lowly Storm's side talked about Cyclops' "angle" in all of this. Suddenly everything's all patched up? 

In the end, no one is gonna win this war. Not the Inhumans, the X-Men, and most importantly the readers. Somebody is gonna do something that's going to be extremely stupid (odds are well it'll be Emma, undoing just over twenty years of progression as a character.  We get a tease of someone else joining in her quest. The easy answer is Mystique. I can only wonder whom on the Inhumans' side will juggle the dumb ball). The results will just make us  roll our eyes, groan, or curse out Marvel (maybe all three in stages of grief in reading these bad comics). 

I still hold out a tiny fraction of hope with the recent revelations that Marvel might be making an honest commitment again to the franchise. But... comics like these just don't fill me with that. Instead, it just makes me want to go buy someplace that does have this sort of thing. With a $4.99 price tag that just finalizes this thought of avoiding this comic like a plague save for just looking at the spoilers so you can peak your head when this mess is over. I just see nothing that can warrant that and instead just increase a silly tab that I feel like they owe me for reading this garbage (it's at $25, worth an over-priced softcover trade).

Sadly it truly is a mess at Marvel now, which confounds me given the characters they have are timeless. It just seems to me ever since Secret Wars they just have lost their way with handling things. I just feel the futility in it all that we're in this never ending cycle of event then relaunch. Even right now being in the middle of one, I can already sense another winds of another relaunch on the horizon. I can't even suggest anything given that's how deep the problem is save for a few corners. The whole experience is just leaving me weary and wishing for the madness to be over. But this is Marvel and apparently fans' fury is what sells in this day and age.

Anyway, I'm out. I've ranted and raved. The liquor is wearing off and I need another drink to drown my sorrows of the even sorrier state of Marvel Comics.




Support our sponsors:


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:



Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Zechs


Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.

 


More articles from Zechs
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!