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Durnkin Reveewz: The Clone Conspiracy #5

Written by Zechs on Friday, February 17 2017 and posted in Features

Durnkin Reveewz: The Clone Conspiracy #5

You know some things improve with age. This story won't.

* To those who do not know what they're about to read. Well, here's your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain't Your Dad's Root Beer trying to comprehend the garbage you read. So there. You've been warned. Anything now is on your head for not following the warning.

I tried to give this event Dead No More: The Clone Conspiracy the benefit of the doubt. I really did. I went in with an open mind ever since the "Hobgoblin" fiasco (aka long story short Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott fooled the hell out of me and to this day hasn't made me live it down). Because of that experience, it allowed me to enjoy Superior Spider-Man. Honestly, after that Slott just hasn't been the same since. From one volume to another, Slott has been building every ongoing of Spider-Man to the next "mega" event. Spiderverse. Now Clone Conspiracy. I could fully understand the why wth the former. With such a tapestry of unlimited story potential, you had to explore a ton of it.

This though? Ironically enough, Clone Conspiracy fell down the same pit that befell the midway portion of its counterpart, the 90s Clone Saga (aka Maximum Clonenage). What we got was a mixed bag of bad and good.  You just can't place the story as something fully good, or even memorable when the story has its bad moments and regrettably, is utterly forgettable. How? Too much of one thing and too little of what actually mattered. Five issues that crammed so much to get a broader sense of what was going on you had to read the parts of Amazing Spider-Man, and if that wasn't enough other issues too (like for this very issue with Silk appearing out of nowhere). You had to read their tie-in to get the full story then just go, "Da hell are they suddenly in this comic for?"  

I confess there are some things this event did get right. Kaine and the Spider-Gwen twist were elements I just didn't see coming (when the reveal who was behind this anyone could have predicted correctly). The fill-in issue focusing on them was um.. amazing. Likewise, the issue in Amazing that dealt with Gwen and Peter having a lengthy talk with no interruptions. It was a nice breather before all hell broke loose. Heck, the very issue of Silk that tied into this comic, Silk #17. made me care for Mattie Franklin again (how this is possible you have to give this miracle to the team of the Silk comic in Robbie Thompson and Irene Strychalski for doing so). Even here Gwen Stacy makes the most of her final moments back. Getting somewhat payback on a pair of lesser Goblins and a Jack O'Lantern. 

But the rest? Everything fell off the rails. Everything just felt rushed. Everyone to get from point A. to point B. No real points to savor what we're getting here. There was no little moments to let things breath. Instead, we get a rushed Ben meets Kaine confrontation and that's really all there is to it. Ben fights Otto and we barely see them do battle with each other. We really don't get to see Ben react much to his plans falling apart. Instead, he tries to, and cue final battle with Otto. No realization from Ben of the madness he's become. Nope. But more on that later. 

Then there's the mentioned Prowler and Jean DeWolff brave last stand, but nope we never see it. Only hear someone talk about it (I guess we have to read the final issue of Prowler (is that even out yet? Why wasn't this all released at the same time?), but SURPRISE! We had been tricked all along that the main character in that was nothing but a clone (Which again makes even further sense now how much interest the writer had on Julia Carpenter than Hobie Brown). 

We don't get a final tally of who fully survived or died in this. Instead, Slott leaves it to future writers to decide, save for a select few. Again, I get the why, but why the hell did we have to see Massacre of all the villains to survive this? The character's only point was an extreme method and just to be fodder for Spock in Superior. I really don't see the use of him being around. But the true gut punch is. This isn't the end of the story. NOPE! Why couldn't it have been another? Like Tarantula or the Rose? Someone of worth than someone who wasn't?

The real kicker though is though this is branded the "final" issue. We have to wait for a freaking Omega issue in a few more weeks to fully wrap up whatever closure is left to have! Look, I get that take this mini by itself. It does tell a complete tale. But when the object is to spread out this tale so you get the multiple areas you can tell this story in. And when you just don't like it, then the story is failing. But such is the problem with Marvel nowadays. All about the event first. Characters second.

This event should have just been about Kaine, Gwen (both), Ben, and Peter. The elements were all there for this to be a grand tale. Yet somehow Doc Ock in the end kind of spoiled this event both literally and metaphorically. It just feels less now having read all the way up to this point than something grand or even special. Again, I feel back during Maximum Cloneage just eager for this event to end and see where the characters go from her. Because of that we probably won't look as kindly to this story in future years. Maybe more for the fallout and what it does to the characters as we did back then? Who knows, I guess we'll just have to find out.  But like any event currently at Marvel. I'm just so tired of it. So exhausted. I need a breather. A long lengthy breather. as events currently are so cluttered in this company. It's just way too much. Perhaps, sadly a breather is truly needed. Because after this lengthy event I just feel the writers at Marvel need to regroup and relearn what made their runs spectacular and so darn endearing to begin with. Something that appears to have been lost in the shuffle. 


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About the Author - Zechs

Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.


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