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Durnkin Reveewz: Action Comics #1,000

Written by Zechs on Tuesday, April 24 2018 and posted in Features

Durnkin Reveewz: Action Comics #1,000

Yeah I know, I suck at Microsoft Paint about as much as the final story sucked you out of all that goodwill you read prior to it.


*To those who do not know what they're about to read. Well, here's your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain't Your Dad's Root Beer or several soft drinks mixed with Captain Morgan trying to comprehend the garbage you read.

Further, these reviews began on the forums. Those looking for a numerical system as per my other reviews best look else. Some folk above me love me blurting out raw brutally honest shit, and rather have that be on the front page.So there. You've been warned. Anything now is on your head for not following the warning. 

If you so wish and recommend me some horrific comics for October if you join our Patreon. After all, someone's gotta pay for my drinking tab.

Well, this is the first comic in a long time that I loved, but also hated. My absolute favorite was Scott Snyder's out of all things. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Superman/Lex Luthor. Just as good, but slightly below his stuff were the other selections of Brad Meltzer's, Geoff Johns/Richard Donner's, Dan Jurgens', Louise Simonson's, and Paul Dini's (who's tale felt like the perfect ending for the actual issue, instead we get.. well more on that later). Then there the middle ground where it was good, but felt lacking (aka Pete Tomasi's). It was a good story that tied in a ton of Superman mythos, but I'm kind of puzzled why the 2000s weren't included (was it that bad?) and how the 90s nod was Steel/Superboy? I mean I don't mind that another 90s fellow wasn't in it. Cause said character got the final glory to be the final villain Dan Jurgens' finale to his latest run in #999 (and put aside to avoid the catastrophe of).  Still, it just felt odd that that era more so that Tomasi himself admires (*cough* Manchester Black *cough*) and we kind of don't get that. Nor the "Our Worlds at War" costume Superman had during that period. I mean sure, Electric Superman wasn't in this comic too, but that along with no Superboy Prime? Huh... kind of perplexed. But, it is a fun story that involves Vandal Savage and Hypertime. Maybe Tomasi just hates certain portions of the 2000s, which given his Batman work does the same. Then maybe this not being in here shouldn't be so surprising then?  

The other middle ground was Tom King's tale, which was alright. It was gorgeous to look at (which anything Clay Mann does is a freaking work of art). But I kept thinking more back to the other's, and it was kind of forgettable. Probably didn't help that this story was basically the entire preview first shown of the comic a few weeks before. Like, "okay I read this one," but *goes back to Snyder or even Johns/Donner. Oh yeah. That's the sweet Superman spot. I guess that's why the story didn't phase me as much, and I'm kind of sad because the art of Mann is so damn good. 

And of course, the utter batshit insanity that is Neal Adams nowadays. Like what's there to say about stories done by him now? You have to almost compare the scale of craziness to my drunkness. There's Batman Oddessy levels of holy crap to Superman: The Coming of the Supermen I'll have what he's having to the current Deadman mini which was... huh. I guess the craziness is just throwing anything at the wall now to see what sticks? But it is Neal Adams, so he can do just whatever the hell he wants. I'll still read it and be amazed at his art no matter how crazy the story is. 

But as I went thru each story the lingering doubt started to creep into my head. "Wait this is HIS first issue. Give him a break. Maybe it'll be good. Maybe it'll be in the middle." Then... after Dini's. I gasped as the final Superman story in the comic was... Brian Michael Bendis's. Why? I know he's taking over the comic. But why? It just felt... wrong for his story to end the issue. And of all the stories it felt out of place. Here you had a ton of one and done stories, but with the final, we get this teaser for what is to come in "Man of Steel". 

The "twist" and the first story left me sighing at the same old tropes Bendis just seems to do. Not to mention just overusing the, "Hey he's got his trunks back." Line over and over. It felt like Bendis was taking a baseball to my head and bashing me in on this fact. It would suddenly explain the loss of brain cells no doubt lost when reading this comic and the fact I did enjoy one tiny moment in this story: aka Superman being thrown to a window where people are at and him stopping just an inch. 

That was good, or maybe it was brain damage. I dunno at this point.  I just remember getting to the final page and the "twist" made me groan. That and it made me question me giving Bendis a chance when he throws out this twist. Which isn't earth-shattering, it's just meh. Likewise the ending. It ends like that? Come on! This story just feels like it would have been better suited in DC Nation #0 not here. It feels like truly the odd man out of the stories here which all had this one and done. 

In any case, Action Comic #1000 was exactly what I wanted. It gave us some quality Superman stories that celebrated the character's years in publication. It gave us a lot of stuff that has happened in the character's run and the future. Whatever that maybe. Other than it'll probably be forgotten after that run is finished.  


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