Wednesday, April 24, 2019 • R.I.P. Edition • Comics: we give a crap!

Durnkin Reveewz: Heroes in Crisis #2

Written by Zechs on Saturday, November 03 2018 and posted in Features

Durnkin Reveewz: Heroes in Crisis #2

An event comic written by Bendis moves at a faster pace than this one.


*To those who do not know what they're about to read. Well, here's your warning. The following is just Zechs being Zechs. Grammatical errors are bound to happen you down three bottles of This Ain't Your Dad's Root Beer or several soft drinks mixed with Captain Morgan trying to comprehend the garbage you read.

Further, these reviews began on the forums. Those looking for a numerical system as per my other reviews best look else. Some folk above me love me blurting out raw brutally honest shit, and rather have that be on the front page. So there. You've been warned. Anything now is on your head for not following the warning. 

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You know I really shouldn't. I should stop. I absolutely hated the first issue. Why would my opinion be any different on the second? But this is THE the other event comic going on at DC Comics. There is no looking away from it when you buy a DC Comic because a few weeks later the spoilers for the first issue are all over the back part of their comics (seems like an almost counter reset for anyone who is actively trying to avoid the damn comic is left in peace. Not see the damn thing we don't want to read at the back end. Give us a freaking courtesy! Not all your readers want to even be reminded of this comic!

So I guess this is my reasoning for this look at the deeper goings-on. Wait really, there isn't anything going on. This comic is moving at a goddamn snail's pace. When Identity Crisis, the event you're supposed to be in the shadow of did a better job making you care for those who died and moving the plot along, you're in for a rough ride. 

So... for some odd reason, the Trinity decide to keep mum on the whole massacre thing that happened in the first issue-- because? They're acting like idiots? No seriously, they really are idiots in this comics because the plot demands they be as such. Like writer Tom King decided to take every bad angle a DC event comic had and decided to compound it. But on the bright side, at least King spends a line of dialogue to clean up a plot hole in #1. I guess #3 will deal with all the plot holes of this issue. So on and so forth with every other issue. 

Oh, sure this comic is trying to be the thinking comic, and just utterly fails at it. The thing that gets me the most is the Superman confession in this issue. Like literally, when Kill Bill Vol. 2 does a better monologue on this topic (and even if said  monologue is wrong): 


The fact it does a better job explaining Superman better than the actual official comic that is featuring Superman... Yeah. Um... Good job?

Oh, and let's talk about Batman's confession too while we're at it. So basically, Batman's whole confession in this issue kind of makes himself a hypocrite on the current plight going on with Nightwing. As for Wonder Woman's. I just started to bang my head on the table and told myself to stop looking for the flaws at this point and just keep going on ahead. 

If that isn't enough, we then get King's other Batman subplot rearing its head in this comic. Goddamit! This whole damn event comic is just another notch of this stupid plan, isn't it? 

But I'm not gonna knock at all of the return of Harley returning to her classic outfit. I get the point King is coming across here with the character. This is her "villain" outfit and she's playing "the villain".  Yet how she manages to outwit and outplay two titans who are leagues above her-- I got nothing still. Just an open gaping mouth left open as to why Superman and Wonder Woman just stood there.  Well, I guess cause the plot demanded they be idiots. 

But if there's a bright sign to the ignorance of this comic it's ignoring whatever the hell is going on currently in the Superman comics. So there's that going for it. I guess. Maybe? 

Seriously, this comic is as flawed as my grammatical errors and when I pick up on the errors. Well, you're a bad comic and even if you have Clay Mann to gorgeously draw your comic (Hnnngh this comic is so gorgeous to look at even when the writing is so bad). It still ain't gonna change this comic's plot is garbage no matter how pretty you dress it up. 

Then there's the elephant in the room I haven't even spoken of yet from this issue. So we get another revelation of another character having died in the previous issue. One near and dear to one character who is still among the living's hearts. Oh, sure there's no body shown. But given the final page and the dialogue prior to the deaths mentioned. Yep. That character is a goner (for maybe a year I give). 

The thing is though, I'm beginning to think that given how shitty this comic is. A part of me thinks that this character will be revealed to be the "true murderer" and manipulated everyone into murdering each other. Of course, this TWIST comes with the other TWIST that this was all part of a certain keikaku. So there's barely any true ending to this comic and we'll have to pick up the finale to King's Batman to get any finality at all with this comic. 






I hope I'm wrong. I really do. But that's where I see this comic going. Someone who is dead, ain't and they're the real killer. But there will be some false sort of reveal that this will all tie into said keikaku of that other Batman plot to make our heads' ache even more.

Also suddenly it occurs to me why just the Trinity are the main guardians of Sanctuary? You think given  Hal Jordan kind had a mental breakdown that HE would be a better suited to be watching over this place? No, wait. I'm making a better more sensible plot. Which is what this comic ain't. 

So yeah, this comic continues down the path toward infamy than fondness. Unless a miracle occurs. Hey maybe we can just go the Dallas route and this can all be just a bad dream? Right. It's only a dream. No wait, IT'S NOT. Eh, con season next year should be fun with DC having to spin this mess of a comic. Cause when the comic it's supposed to be "homaging" did a better job of mystery and the loss of death in it's the second issue. Yeah...  We're dealing with the possibility this comic might be a flaming turd of garbage that might have to be put out sooner whenever DC decides to go back to basics.. again (so two more years from now?).

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