The Outhouse: The Greatest Comic Book Website - For All Your Comics and Entertainment News, Reviews, and Other Insanity

Super Reads 134

Onward and Upward!

Today, we check out The Thanos Imperative: Devastation #1, Avengers Prime #5, Avengers: The Children's Crusade #4, and Blast to the Past for The Fantastic Four #65.  Enjoy and spread the word!

Spoilers Ahead!


Super Reads 134
We are doing some concluding this week with Thanos Imperative and Avengers Prime.

Looking to read up on everything from Secret Invasion to Siege and beyond?  Check no further than this link right HERE.

And now... SPACE ADVENTURES!

The Thanos Imperative: Devastation #1
Writers: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning
Artist: Miguel Sepulveda

In this issue:

• King Blastaar and his army attacks Attilan.

• Cosmo arrives and tells Ronan and Crystal that the Guardians of the Galaxy aren't a thing any more.  Still, he'd like to talk to Ronan when this battle is over with.

• Four days ago, Cosmo met with Robbie Rider, Namorita, and Quasar and made Wendell Vaughn an offer he couldn't refuse.

• In the present, Blastaar breaks into the inner court to face Medusa.

• Three days ago, Cosmo gave the Silver Surfer a proposition.

• Two days ago, Cosmo argued with Beta Ray Bill about the best way to help the Galaxy.

• One day ago, Cosmo visited Gladiator on Chandilar to give the Majestor more work.

• In the present, Blastaar is moments from killing the ruler of the Kree when the Annihilators show up.

• King Blastaar and his forces don't stand a chance.

• One week ago, Star-Lord has a telepathic conversation with Cosmo about assembling a universe policing force before going up against Thanos.

• Tomorrow, the Annihilators meet on Knowhere to talk about how they'll conduct future missions.

• Ikon the Space Knight shows up to lead her new team.

The previous comic in this series was covered HERE.

The war against the Cancerverse has ended.  The universe is once again safe.  If we've read events in the cosmos right, that'll last for another three seconds.

Yep, here comes King Blastaar of the Kree Ceded Territories.  Just one week ago, his forces were allied with the rest of the universe against the Cancerverse.  He made most strategy meetings inhospitable by being overly aggressive and not agreeing with anyone-- especially if they backed something he had just said.  His forces abandoned the Fault before the climax of the battle when all seemed hopeless.  Now, he leads those armies against the beleagured Kree Empire, specifically the capital city of Attilan.

The Kree-Inhuman forces within the city stayed fighting at the Fault until the bitter end and suffered staggering casualties as a result.  All that after an invasion by the Phalanx and a successful if costly campaign against the Shi'ar have led to an Empire in dire need of recovery, not more attacks.  While Medusa, Karnak, and Gorgon champion their forces into defensive positions, we silently acknowledge that this is the worst possible time for the Kree Empire to be attacked.

Defending the western part of the city are Ronan, Crystal, the teleporting Inhuman dog, Lockjaw, and a whole lot of Kree soldiers.  They are definitely outnumbered.  Ronan complains about the timing of this attack and how they should have expected it.

Cosmo teleports in.  You might have seen Cosmo in the pages of Guardians of the Galaxy and hanging out with the Guardians in the Cancerverse during the Thanos Imperative.  He is the security chief of Knowhere, the giant severed Celestial head that until recently served as the Guardians' base of operations as well as being a scientific outpost on the edge of the universe.  It might also be important to note that Cosmo is a Soviet Cosmonaut with telepathic and telekinetic powers.  Also: he's a dog.

Crystal asks Cosmo if the Guardians of the Galaxy are coming to help, but the dog informs her that the Guardians are over with.  Star-Lord, Drax, and Martyr have recently been killed off (put a big question mark over Star-Lord's fate, though-- no body means no actual death).  It looks like the rest of the team has disbanded.  Not to worry, though.  Cosmo has made do.  He tells Ronan that he's like to talk to the Accuser after the battle is over.

Intrigued?  You should be!  Let's back our story up and head down to sweet mother Earth four days ago.  Specifically, we're at Project: P.E.G.A.S.U.S.  Cosmo has teleported in for a visit with the brother of missing Nova Prime (Richard Rider), Robbie Rider, Nova's girlfriend, Namorita, and one of Nova Prime's greatest allies, Quasar.  With Richard missing and presumed dead, the Nova Force has disappeared.  Worldmind has also been lost.  Meanwhile, these three have returned home.  It'll be interesting when Namorita contacts the rest of the New Warriors.

But that's not why Cosmo is here.  He has has plans for Wendell Vaughn.  Quasar regrets not being there to help his friend.  It looks like Cosmo wants to make sure that Vaughn will never have that regret again.

In the present, King Blastaar's army has breached the walls of Attilan.  Karnak is still a force to be reckoned with inside the court but when the Inhuman turns away from the attackers and tries to get his queen to leave, Blastaar hits Karnak from behind with a space gun.  Now, it's all down to Queen Medusa.  She declares that Blastaar will die.

Three days ago, Cosmo was surfing the spaceways with the Silver Surfer in the Coalsack Nebula.  Since Galactus contributed to the defense of the Universe, the Devourer of Worlds is SUPER hungry.  Norrin Radd is looking all over for Galactus' next meal.

Surfer knows that Cosmo's not just here to joy ride.  He tells the dog to get to tell him what this is about.  Cosmos lays down his offer.

Two days ago, the journey of our favorite psychic dog ended up on avis Koana Five.  On this planet, Beta Ray Bill played construction working, helping the population recover from the recent war.  The alien Thor has a lot to do, and no time to listen to Cosmo's attempts  to recruit him for yet another space team.  It doesn't take much.  All the dog has to do is point out that all these nice houses Beta Ray Bill is building will probably get torn down again if no one is out there to stop the next big mega-event.  Bill knows that the Marvel Universe is just waiting to tear those homes down.

One day ago, Cosmo showed up in Majestor Gladiator's court on Chandilar in the Shi'ar Imperium.

<--IMAGE-->

Being a ruler of a stellar empire is time consuming work, but if there's one thing Gladiator likes, it's getting his hands dirty.  Cosmo's got the job for him.

We're back in Attilan now.  It looks like Medusa's threats proved fruitless.  Blastaar doesn't seem all that concerned about her lethal hair and just keeps on going until Medusa's face is slammed into the floor.  This is a nice victory for the Negative Zone barbarian.  It doesn't last long.

The Annihilators are here.

The team makes quick work of the warriors that followed Blastaar into Medusa's court.  Then, they take on Blastaar himself.

These guys are the biggest, heaviest hitters you can imagine.  They worked together well during the Thanos Imperative and while they don't do a lot of teamwork, they split up to take on the entire invasion force.  Cosmo's voiceover sums it all up well.  Peter Quill, Star-Lord, assembled the Guardians of the Galaxy to save the universe.  He couldn't lure the best to his team because they were off doing other stuff.  He got the people he COULD get and they went above and beyond what was expected of them.  Now, the big guns have realized that Star-Lord's idea is a necessary one and they step up to do their version of the Guardians.  Or, as Cosmo puts it "the VERY BEST doink their VERY BEST."

And this is apparently not Cosmo's idea.  We cut back one week to when the Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova watch as Thanos loses his cool after killing an entire universe.  Peter is just about to send the Guardians back to their home universe, so that he and Nova can try to hold Thanos back long enough to trap the mad Titan in this dead universe.  Before he does, however, he has a telepathic talk with Cosmo about bringing together the big hitters of the Marvel Universe to guard the galaxy in his stead.  He calls the new team "Annihilators."  It's a name that's going to stick.

This telepathic conversation is what Cosmo projects into the mind of each Annihilator to convince them that they're needed to prevent the next cosmic apocalypse.

<--IMAGE-->

My first gag with that panel looked a little something like this:

<--IMAGE-->

Because I'm not certain that Peter did this at all.  I don't think he had the time.  Sure, telepathic conversations can happen in the blink of an eye but you also see Peter gesturing this way and that which makes me think that this happened maybe a LITTLE faster than he could SAY those words.  I just checked The Thanos Imperative #6 to see if there was any hint that this scene took place.  I couldn't find it.

I'm not saying Cosmo is lying.  I'm saying that he COULD be.  I guess we'll find out when Star-Lord returns.  Because we all know Peter Quill and Nova are going to be back.  The only question is when.

Until then, we have the Annihilators.  The team is getting acquainted to their new headquarters on Knowhere, and we all get a little Avengers vibe with the team.  I mean, the original Avengers team was formed with all of the then-current big hitters of the Marvel Universe and they didn't act like a usual team.  The same deal happens here.  These are headline characters (who, y'know, can't support their whole book) with no clear leader in the bunch who stop the big threats that no one can take on their own.

Cosmo does come off as the leader and it looks like the rest of the characters are just a little scared of the dog.

The Annihilators walk through Knowhere, talking about how their team is going to work.  Most of them believe that this alliance should be used as a "Last Line" when nothing else will do but Cosmo has a list made by Star-Lord of threats to the universe that need to be dealt with.  First on the list: the Dire Wraiths.

Almost on cue, a burst of lightning blasts the Annihilators apart.  When the team gets to their feet, there's a Space Knight in their midst.  She tells them her name is Ikon and she is here to lead them.

Anyone who remembers the Space Knights (and Rom) will remember their war with the Dire Wraiths.

More Annihilators in their own mini-series (which just conluded, actually) and a follow-up series, Annihilators: Earthfall this fall.


Avengers Prime #5
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Alan Davis

In this story:

• Thor addresses his army that is ready to go fight Hela.

• Steve Rogers makes out with the dark elf Mageth.

• Hela and her army attacks.

• FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

• Thor is stabbed through with the Twilight Sword.  The Enchantress sneaks in to heal him and then teleports herself and Thor away.

• Amora declares her side and it's Thor's.  This is basically because Hela is the bigger bad guy in her opinion.  She also 'ported them to Thor's hammer so he can grab his main weapon of choice.

• The two teleport back in and attack Hela anew.  The goddess of the death still has the upper hand until Tony Stark and Fafnir lay on their attacks on Hela.

• Thor picks up the Twilight Sword and returns the Nine Worlds to their normal state.

• The Enchantress returns the heroes to earth before Steve can make out with Mageth again.

• Steve and Tony make up.  The Avengers Trinity walk out of the ruins of Asgard together.

The previous comic in this series was covered HERE.

OK.  So what the hell is going on here?  Let me tell you.  When Thor returned after Ragnarok, he decided to put Asgard on Earth instead of its usual place in Asgard-space.  Somehow, the Twilight Sword was left unaccounted for. It was taken by Hela, the Asgardian Goddess of Death.  The blade is the former sword of Surtur and has the power to shape reality.  That is why the Nine Realms are all twisted up.

It's also why all of the Nine Realms has rallied to Thor's banner to fight Hela and her evil legions.  Creatures from every race are here.  Longtime enemies stand side by side.  Fafnir, the giant dragon, seems to have stuck around for this.  I'm certain someone more in the know on Marvel's Asgard could name a couple more familiar faces but we can just pretend that EVERYONE who's anyone is standing around waiting for the action to begin.

Thor has taken up an axe for this battle because his Hammer is still stuck in a place that looked like Vanaheim.  Tony Stark's fixed up his Classic Armor with some Norse additions.  Steve Rogers is still dressed up in his medieval gear but more important than that, he's getting one last word in with the dark elf, Lady Mageth.

You know that slogan "what happens in Vegas?"  Same deal.  Even though Steve Rogers is in a serious relationship with Sharon Carter back on earth, it doesn't stop him from sucking face with the dark elf.  Tony Stark comments on it because it's a move that he'd totally have made.

Thor feigns ignorance and then gets distracted by the approaching army of death.  Hela is on her way and it's time to gear up for one last slobber knocker of a fight.

This is where I get to say "words do not do justice to this fight scene" and get out of giving you a play by play of the action.  Mostly, it's Steve and Tony on the ground in the thick of the fighting while Thor takes on Hela (who's riding the dead looking dragon).  The god of thunder axes the dead dragon but Hela is really on her game today.  Wielding the Twilight Sword into battle doesn't hurt.

When the two immortals hit the ground, Thor has to contend with a number of Hela's creations.  It looks like Bor, The Executioner, Desak, and Majeston Zelia, among others.  They attack the thunder god en masse.  Yeah, Hela's got her act together in this and Thor's facing her without his usual weapon.

While the main event takes place, Steve Rogers and Iron Man fight side by side.  This is as close as the two are going to get to male bonding so, go dudes.

Thor breaks away from the Enchantress's creations and makes a lunge at the goddess of death.  This ends... badly.

<--IMAGE-->

Pulling Thor up by his hair, she savors her victory before dealing a killing blow.  Time wasted.  A magical blast knocks Hela off her feet.  When the death goddess gets back up, she sees someone has come to the aid of the thunder god.  Before the Twilight Sword can deliver a killing blast, both Thor and his helper have vanished.  Hela howls at this turn of events.

In the place that looks like Vanaheim, Thor and his good samaritan reappear near his fallen hammer.  It turns out that the person who came to help him is the Enchantress.  She attacked him in the first and second issue but has realized that the greatest evil here isn't her ex-boyfriend.  It's definitely the one twisting reality to suit her needs.  Hela must be stopped and Amora is going to help as much as she can even though she doesn't particularly care for Thor.  The Odinson grabs Mjolnir so that he has a chance in the second round of this fight.

The battle is rejoined.  Even with his hammer and the Enchantress, Thor is underpowered against Hela.  He delivers some powerful blows but can NOT drop the goddess of death.

Steve and Tony are watching this fight while still engaging their own foes.  Rogers tells Iron Man to fly in for an assist but Tony's boot jets won't get him there in time to be any help.  Besides, he has a better idea.  Iron Man flies up to Fafnir and tells the dragon to take him up to the big fight and help Thor.  Faf is not too happy to be bossed around but still complies.

When Hela raises the Twilight Sword in the air to end things, permanent-like, she gets both barrels from Iron Man and Fafnir.  That's dragon's breath and a Repulsor blast (or whatever Iron Man's packing in this adventure- whatever it is, Tony uses it on Hela).  The Enchantress and Thor look up to see their unlikely saviors.

Hela's still getting pelted by dragon breath.  When she was struck, the death goddess lost her grip on the Twilight Sword.  Thor makes sure she doesn't regain the reality altering weapon.  Grasping the Sword, Thor starts changing things.  Hela shouts before everything changes.

Steve Rogers ends up in the middle of a pumpkin patch.  Lady Mageth is nearby.

Thor, Iron Man and the Enchantress wind up in an open field.  Thor explains that he changed everything back to the way it was before Hela used the Twilight Sword.  Asgard is still on earth but the Nine Realms are back to normal.  Thor and Iron Man make plans to go to Vanaheim so that they might return to earth but the Enchantress has an easier way.  All it'll take is a spell.

Steve ALMOST reaches Mageth before he, too, is transported back to Earth.  That leaves the dark elf all alone next to a pumpkin patch.

No one ever speaks of Steve's indiscretions again.

In Asgard (on earth), the Avengers and Maria Hill are still trying to figure out what happened to Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, and Thor.  It's been two days with no sign of the heroes.  Heimdall seems pretty helpless.  So do the Avengers.

Blast of light, return, the heroes.  Everyone's happy to see the Avengers Trinity back on earth even if their clothing looks like something out of a renaissance fair.  Thor hands the Twilight Sword over to Heimdall and tells the watchman to hide it where no one will ever find it ever. Heimdall swears he'll do that.

So expect to see it again in a few years.

Tony and Thor started this mini-series with a lot of angry words.  They end it with Stark apologizing for being a complete douche.  Even though Tony doesn't remember doing anything during Civil War, he's read about it and seen how it all went terribly wrong.  He doesn't expect Steve to forgive him but he tells the World War II vet that he will do everything he can to earn back Steve's friendship.

Someone needs a hug.

<--IMAGE-->

A feud is ended!  Thor smiles.  His buddies are friends again.  He puts an arm over each of their shoulders and the three walk out of the ruins of Asgard.  There's a brave new world ahead of them.

After all, it's a Heroic Age.

Which is sort of funny because we're nearly OUT of the Heroic Age with this release. :)


Avengers: The Children's Crusade #4
Writer: Allan Heinberg
Penciler: Jim Cheung

In this story:

• Wiccan versus Dr. Doom!  We all know how that song ends.  Also: Wanda Maximoff is marrying Doom.  Wierd.

• Magneto, Quicksilver, and the Young Avengers prepare to enter Latveria and rescue some people.

• Wonder Man (and the Avengers who have been "secretly" following him) also arrives in Latveria and gets ready for business.

• Dr. Doom offers Wiccan a place in Latveria and has also taken away the teenager's magical abilities.

• Everybody attacks.

• Wanda offers Wiccan his freedom but only if he tells her what he knows.

• Wolverine attacks Wanda and no amount of reason is going to get through to him.

• Iron Lad, on the other hand, has the power to stop the mutant.

The previous comic in this series was covered HERE.

Boom!  Blam!  Fizzle!  This issue start with a bang with the biggest villain in the Marvel Universe attacking a teenage super-hero with more guts than brains.  Billy Kaplan (Wiccan) was on a world tour with his fellow Young Avengers, searching for the missing Scarlet Witch.  When the journey led right to Latveria and Dr. Doom, Billy decided to make this journey on his own even after his friends had caught him trying this once.  You see, Billy Kaplan is... an IDIOT.  You don't break into Dr. Doom's castle on your own unless you want to be attacked by the monarch of Latveria.

At least he found Wanda Maximoff before the festivities began and learned that his supposed mother is getting married to Victor.  That's all sorts of messed up.

There's no doubt that Dr. Doom is going to best Wiccan in magical combat.  Billy's got power on his side but skill?  Not so much.  During the fight, Wiccan tries to tell Wanda who she really is.  This, again, is idiotic.  I mean, the last we saw Wanda as the Scarlet Witch, she caused a little event called Avengers: Disassembled.  She went crazy.  With her memories of the past gone, maybe Wanda can be a lot less insane.  Not if Billy has anything to say about it.

Doom's bride-to-be doesn't actually BELIEVE this crazy kid but she doesn't like how Doom is just blasting away at him, either.  Dr. Doom tells her that these are the kind of threats she'll have to get used to as his wife.  People like to attack him and his nation.  Wanda doesn't care.  She seems truly in love.  Hell, so does Victor Von Doom.

So that's super wierd for us all.

The next day, Teddy wakes up and reads the note that his dumber-than-rocks boyfriend wrote him and the Young Avengers assemble on the borders of the small nation of Latveria.  With them are Magneto and Quicksilver, both of whom are searching for their missing family member, Wanda.  They've seen Wiccan and Speed (Tommy Shepherd) and buy into the theory that they are the Scarlet Witch and the first Vision's kids magically returned to life.  The also add some power to this group and they're going to need it to get inside Dr. Doom's castle.

The plan is simple.  Magneto is going to make a lot of noise while the rest of the group sneaks in.  It sounds like a bad plan because it is.  Why not raise all the defenses and get everyone into high alert before trying to break into the fortress?  That sounds logical.  Anyway, the alarm is probably turned all the way up with Wiccan breaking and entering the night before.  Doom knows the rest of the Young Avengers are sure to follow.  Or at least he should.  Nothing about this sounds like a good deal for our team of heroes but whatareyougonnado?

It looks like the Young Avengers aren't the only ones looking to B&E today.  Last issue, the Avengers brought in Simon Williams, Wonder Man, to track down the Scarlet Witch.  Simon went off on his own for this but it turns out the Avengers followed him in a Quinjet, trailing his ionic signature.  Simon sort of guesses this is the case.  When he flies into Latveria, he calls the Avengers and warns them AGAINST following him.  Nothing says international incident like America's Top Cop leading a team of super-heroes onto Dr. Doom's front lawn.

Well, that doesn't stop the Avengers.  They're already all in on this one.

In the Marvel Universe, you don't get many bad guys as big as Doctor Victor Von Doom.  He's so evil he isn't even an actual DOCTOR.  You definitely don't want him to check on your back pains.  He'll give you some sort of super-power and send you back to destroy that accursed Richards.  At the same time, he's going to MARRY WANDA MAXIMOFF.  There's something strange in the neighborhood.

Just a couple scenes ago, Dr. Doom laid Wiccan out in a bad @$ magical fight.  Now, he's using his sorceror powers to heal the Young Avenger.  He even gently explains why telling Wanda the truth is an even worse idea than entering Latveria with no back-up.  Victor Von Doom takes no credit in Wanda's predicament.  She came to him, asking for aid for her own people and was already oblivious to her past life.  We saw this in New Avengers #26.  Wanda did this to herself and then forgot about it.

And, somehow, someway, she and Doom fell in love.  Victor is as surpised as anyone else by that part.  It's very unlike him.  So is healing Wiccan and explaining all this.  So is telling Billy that he can remain in Latveria as his guest.  When Wiccan asks what the alternative to "guest" is, Doom replies "prisoner."  OH.  That's more the Doctor Doom we love to hate.  Also: that healing spell?  It removed Billy's magical abilities.  Or blocked them.  Either way: depowered.

As Billy comes to grips with his new place in the world, the attack outside Doom's castle begins.

Magneto is dropping airships out of the sky which is a little more violent than Patriot is comfortable with.

<--IMAGE-->

Through this whole book, it seems the only Young Avenger with his head screwed on straight is the grandson of the black Captain America, Eli Bradley.  He keeps on being the voice of reason and getting shot down by Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) who is leading the team.  He's got MAJOR issues with what the Young Avengers are doing because it's the stupidest thing possible.  At the same time, these guys are his friends so he's going to stick with them and maybe get them so see SOME reason.  Kate keeps making it a trust issue.  I swear... teenagers.

While Magneto makes a lot of noise, Quicksilver leads the Young Avengers on a half cocked rescue attempt.  Pietro Maximoff runs through the entire plan but there's no need.  It's not like they're actually going to get to DO their plan.

That's because the Avengers are here.  They're also in the way.

Billy Kaplan might be a "guest" in Castle Doom but that doesn't mean he's allowed to leave his room.  He TRIES to use a spell to escape but it appears he truly has lost his abilities.  To the rescue is Wanda Maximoff in a wedding dress.

It appears that Wiccan's fight with Doom might have cast some doubt on her current situation.  She wants Billy to tell her about the Scarlet Witch.  The Young Avenger won't do that unless Wanda gets her out of the castle.  It's a deal.

As the two make their escape, Wiccan begins the important bits about the Scarlet Witch.  It's mostly about how she married the synthezoid Vision and had twins with him through magic.  Master Pandemonium took away the kids' souls for Mephisto and the Scarlet Witch went nuts... then forgot any of this ever happened.  And then went nuts again years later when Janet Van Dyne reminded her of her missing children.  Then came Avengers: Disassembled and "the darkest day the Avengers ever knew."  Billy gets to the part where he and Tommy might kind of maybe have the souls of her children inside them even though it would involve magic, time travel, and/or combining those souls with their own souls.  All told, it's complicated.

Before Wiccan can finish his tale, the two reach daylight and find that the Avengers, Young Avengers, and Magneto are busting every which way but loose against an army of Doombots.  It's that moment when Billy realizes that all of this is probably his fault.

Who else is at this party?  Wolverine.  Last issue, Logan split up with the rest of the Avengers because they hadn't decided to kill Wanda.  It looks like he didn't go TOO far away because he was close enough to get here before everyone split up.  Wolverine keeps his eye on the prize, intent on killing the former Scarlet Witch.

<--IMAGE-->

I joke about Wolverine's cutthroat attitude but he really does have a reason for his agenda.  At the end of House of M, it was the Scarlet Witch that said "No more mutants" and decimated the world's mutant population.  That act has brought on a whole lot of death as mutants found themselves depowered in the worst ways imaginable.

In short, Wanda Maximoff killed a people to the point of extinction.  Wolverine feels justified in killing her right back even if she's depowered with no memory of her former life.

Before a killing claw can come on down, Logan is blasted away from Wanda.  Billy looks around, trying to figure out where his mother's salvation has come from.  He finds it from the most unlikely source.

Iron Lad is back.


Fantastic Four #65
Writer: Stan Lee
Penciler: Jack Kirby

In this story:

• The Supreme Intelligence speaks to the FF in their dreams, telling the team that there is going to be hell to pay after they destroyed a Kree Sentry last issue.

• The team wakes up and compares notes on their shared dream but no one freaks out or tries to prepare.

• In space, Ronan the Public Accuser flies his ship to earth and beams down to the planet, using an aura of negativism to stay invisible to prying eyes.

• The Fantastic Four are teleported inside Ronan's Cone of Inpenetrability (I know, I know, but that's how it's spelled in the comic, folks).  Court is in session!

• The FF keep disrupting the procedures and taste the business end of Ronan's Universal Weapon.

• No worries, the Public Accuser finds them guilty and prepares to mete out their punishment.

• Alicia Masters is taken on a fantastic voyage to be related in a future column, probably.  The police try to destroy the Cone of Inpenetrability but even their space cannon does no damage.

• Inside the Cone, the Fantastic Four fight for their lives and finally trip Ronan up just as he fires his Universal Weapon.  It hits him square in the chest.  Mission most definitely not accomplished, his ship teleports Ronan up and heads back to Kree space automatically.

• Reed worries that the Kree will return...

July 1967!  Amazing Spider-Man #50, Tales of Suspence #91, Sgt. Fury #44, and Avengers #42 hit the stands alongside this issue of Fantastic Four, featuring the first appearance of future Annihilator, Ronan the Accuser!

And it was all Sentry 459's fault.  Last issue, the Fantastic Four were forced to "destroy" (the Sentry shows up later and is merely deactivated) the Kree Sentry stationed on earth after the thing threatened to kill them all.  When the Sentry fell, it failed to report back to the Kree and someone noticed.  Someone important.  The leader of the Kree Empire is a giant glob of goo called the Supreme Intelligence.  It finds out WHY the Kree Sentry failed to report in and sends out a Public Accuser to deal with those that attacked one of their security forces.

Fair is fair, and for whatever reason, the Supreme Intelligence gives the Fantastic Four a warning about their impending "court case."  It happens in their dreams so none of them actually pays too much attention to it after they wake up even though they compare notes and realize that they've all shared a nightmare.

But the waking up is sort of hilarious.  Why?  Because Johnny and Ben are sleeping in the same bed.  Thing blames this on yesterday's team mission lasting too long and him not wanting to head home to a proper sleep.  I think he just needed some cuddling with Johnny.  Either way, the morning after is wierd.  Johnny keeps on talking about his hot day... with a woman... that he's having today, like he's REALLY trying to convince himself that he's straight.  This gets torn backwards when Ben leers at him while he's taking a bath.

It's like, pull the curtain shut, dude.

Reed and Sue discuss their dream together and Reed knows that it's something he SHOULD look into but Sue won't let him.  She's going through one of those moments where super-heroing isn't a proper thing for a married woman to do and all she wants is to be a normal housewife and not worry about the next crisis.  Reed's response is to send her on a shopping spree and when she's suitably distracted by thoughts of spending money, he tells her no thanks is necessary.  In fact, she should just stay quiet.  "Wives should be KISSED-- and not heard!"

Mr. Fantastic sure is a charmer.

While the FF continues to ignore the warning given them by the Supreme Intelligence, Ronan the Public Accuser flies into orbit around earth to do his job.  In his first appearance, Ronan doesn't seem all that evil.  In fact, he doesn't see the point in dealing with this tiny planet and its insignificant people but he's got orders and the man is dedicated to his work.

Teleporting down to New York City, the Accuser puts on an aura of negativism so that no one can detect his presence.  The busy city street walks right around him without thinking it bizarre.  From his new vantage point, Ronan observes the people and is unimpressed.  Second Stage Civilization still struggling with petty emotional issues.  Waste of time.

But this is his job so he goes about it.  Discarding the aura of negativism, the Public Accuser uses his Universal Weapon (it's hammer shaped) to create a Cone of Inpenetrability.  This gets the attention of the pedestrians.

Back at the Baxter Building, Johnny Storm finalizes plans on his date with the Inhuman, Crystal, and then flies around the room in excitement.  Ben, who thought their late night cuddling meant something, isn't happy that the Human Torch is so excited and just can't hide it.  Thing slaps his hands together to stop Johnny's flight.  It does that and more, destroying everything in the room.  Storm leaves Grimm to clean up the mess and runs off for his rendezvous with Crystal.

Crystal hasn't spent the day waiting for her knight in shining armor to arrive.  She's out with Sue on the Invisible Girl's shopping spree.  Johnny shows up outside in a stripped-down hot rod convertible and Crystal loses all interest in shopping.  The young couple drives off to spend the rest of the day together... or at least the next hour.

Sue gathers up her loot and heads on back to the Baxter Building.  Reed meets her on the way and helps Sue carry some of the heavier packages.  Mr. Fantastic has the night all mapped out and is ready to treat his lady right for, like, the first time ever.  Richards takes his wife to the poshest restaurant and the two settle in for romantic evening.

Not so lucky are the Fantastic Four, of course.  Their date is interrupted when they suddenly burst into smoke and vanish!

The married couple isn't the only duo to have their date ruined.  Johnny and Crystal get stopped by a policeman, not because Storm was speeding but because the policeman has orders to check out hot rods.  Before the officer can do that, the Human Torch does the same disappearing act, leaving Crystal to face the long arm of the law alone.

I'm just guessing Johnny had some marijuana hidden under the seat.

Last to do the fade away is the ever lovin' blue eyed Thing.  Ben gets a package from the Yancy Street Gang but before he can open it, off he goes in a puff of smoke, leaving the postman more panicked than ever before.

We all know where they ended up.  Ronan the Public Accuser's Cone of Inpenetrability.  Of course, the team doesn't take kindly to being whisked away without notice.  Thing gets a little uppity and receives a blast from the Universal Weapon.  This lays Ben out for most of the fight so we'll focus on the others who are equally indignant to Ronan's actions.

So, yeah, this is the worst court case ever.  Ronan can't maintain order no matter how much punishment he dishes out.  It's blast after blast of the UW and no one is giving him a chance to properly do his job.  Now, his job wouldn't be unfair by earth standards so I'm not saying that the FF shouldn't fight back.  I'm just saying HE thinks he's right.  With one last blast of the Universal Weapon, Ronan puts the Fantastic Four in their normal FF gear so that he can tell them that they are totally guilty.

Before Ronan can carry out his sentence, we skip around to some other important scenes.  First stop, Alicia Master's apartment.  Lately, Alicia has been hearing voices and thinks she's going crazy.  She's hearing one such voice right now which should be impossible because the doors are bolted shut.  The voice tells her that she's not going nuts and that she needs to come with him right now.  Alicia agrees and the two pass right through the wall and on into the next comic.  More on them in a later Super Reads.  Yes, we'll get back to Alicia's story soon enough.

We're getting closer to the action now.  The New York City Police have surrounded the Cone of Inpenatrability but nothing they do can breach the thing.  I guess it's time to pull out the big guns.

<--IMAGE-->

That weapon was given to them by Mr. Fantastic who really believes in overpowering today's police officers.  Even that thing does no harm to the Cone.

OK, we can head back inside now.  Ronan the Public Accuser is ready to mete out his sentence but the Fantastic Four aren't that willing to head into that dark night.  Sue even manages to make Thing invisible long enough for Ben to sneak up behind the Accuser and pin Ronan's arms.  It's the chance the rest of the team has been waiting for.

It's just too bad that Johnny doesn't have the good sense to stay away from Ronan's Universal Weapon.  I mean, the Public Accuser can't even properly aim.  You literally have to be standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WEAPON for him to hit you with it.  That takes Johnny out of the fight.

Ronan is a BEAST, by the way.  Even with his arms pinned, he's able to make short work of Johnny and then take Reed temporarily out of the fight.  The Kree still thinks his victory is assured.  After all, he's an Accuser and this is his job.  Ben's a little stronger than Ronan but the Universal Weapon gives the Kree an edge.

Reed gives Thing a battle plan and Grimm, still pinning Ronan's arms, leaps into the air.  The Public Accuser lands on his face with the Universal Weapon underneath him.  More than that, Ronan was firing the Weapon at the time and the full blast manages to strike the Kree.  That, folks, is game.

Things unwind quickly from here.  With Ronan defeated, his ship automatically teleports him back aboard and heads back to Kree space.  The Cone of Inpenetrability is dropped.  The NYPD move in to assist the FF even though they have no clue what just happened.  The Police know a hero when they see one... unless it's Spider-Man.

So the day is saved thanks to the Fantastic Four but Reed is still unsettled.  This is two issues in a row where they've faced the Intergalactic Kree.  Who knows what that Empire will send against them next?

Well, WE do.  They send in the Captain.  Mar-Vell, that is.  That's a tale for another time, though.

Ronan the Accuser had designs on ruling the Kree and got his wish during the build up of the Kree-Skrull War.  After that was over, Ronan went back to being a Public Accuser and generally stayed happy in that job.  After the Annihilation War, Ronan again stepped into the role of ruler of the Kree but was much less comfortable with the job.  When he had a chance, he relinquished leadership to Black Bolt of the Inhumans and sealed the deal with a marriage to Crystal.  To everyone's surprise, the two actually started falling for eachother.

After a lot more galactic threats, Ronan found himself as a charter member of an intergalactic peace keeping team who put out fires that no one else could, the Annihilators.  So far, that seems to be working out for him.  Time will tell how a visit to earth will go.

That is the ballgame, friends!  We'll be back in a couple flashes for more goodness in the Super tradition!  MUCH thanks go out to bkthomson for help making this possible!  Thanks, dude!

Until next time:  Excelsior!

Written or Contributed by: SuperginraiX
Our friends at Nix Comics are sponsoring The Outhouse this week. Show them you appreciate it by checking out their comics. One dollar from every Nix Comics sold this month will go to Kirby-4-Heroes.

Enjoy this article? Consider supporting The Outhouse, a fan-run site, on Patreon. Click here for more info.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:



Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - SuperginraiX


SuperginraiX is the biggest sap on The Outhousers' payroll (wait, we get paid?). He reads every issue of every crappy Marvel crossover so you don't have to. Whats worse is that he pays for his books, thus condoning Marvel's behavior. If The Outhouse cared for his well being at all, they'd try and get him into some sort of rehab center. But, alas, none of us even know how to say his name. For a good time, ask Super why Captian America jumped off the Helicarrier in Fear Itself. Super lives in the frozen wastland that is Minnesota with 15% of the state's population living under his roof: a wife he makes wear an Optimus Prime mask, two gremlins, and his mother-in-law.

 


More articles from SuperginraiX